Dad (elder) called yesterday. (page 3)

Frog

Hi Es, you poor babe... my honest opinion is that he's got too much control of this situation. You need to lay on the line that you will not accept that he can give and take you as he pleases, you deserve better, and he should contact you again when he can accept that. Otherwise he will just succeed in making you feel like rubbish evertime he has a need to make contact. I do feel for him though, how terrible it was to live in the mindset that he has, where your loyalties are tested and the fear rises in you when you feel you've crossed the moral threshold. Sounds like you have a wonderful new life, you should concentrate on the people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated, loved and cherished. Take care of yourself, and don't let him get to you babe. froglett

LMS-Chef

I have the same sit. I am sorry you are going through it. I just accepted it and my children have to WONDERFUL grandparents from my wifes side. It gets me down sometimes but I keep plugging along. Again i am sorry.

Es

You wouldnt believe it he called again today and asked me how ive been and asked if he could take us out and then asked if he could speak to Blake again. I have already decided that if he isnt willing to invite my fiance along with us then we are not going. But i havnt taken heed of what everyone has said and he is no longer ruling my life.....its all on my terms as he knows i can last longer at the silent treatment and like you said its not me missin out its his loss. es

tijkmo

hey Es maybe hes been reading on here

Jez

Your father may be an ass regardless of whether or not he was a JW. How many times have I heard this? BUT the point is: the religion acts as a shield for people that are already dysfunctional to hide behind. Rather than religion pushing ppl to IMPROVE who they are and how they act, tooooooo many times I have seen this religion act as a safe haven that, not only supports and allows dysfunctional, anti-social behaviour, but subtly encourages it and provides REASONS and EXCUSES for inexcusable behaviour. Here are some classic examples:

"It was their choice to leave" "They are not worshipping Jehovah anymore" "They are weak" "They are of the world now" "They are not following Jehovahs ways, so I can't have anything to do with them" "They know what to do to get their family back"

Jez (of the 'blame the donkey for biting, but look and see who is whipping it' class)

HadEnuf

Well...I'm kind of a "tough love" person with this kind of behavior. I would tell him (this is me; you are probably a kinder, softer type of person looking at your beautiful picture) that you and your son and future husband come as A PACKAGE DEAL!! It's either the WHOLE package or NO package. I know this sounds harsh and mean, but it will send a message to your father that HIS behavior is out of line and without question, unloving and cruel to YOU.

Don't let him get away with it. It will only get worse. It's a damn shame (I had to swear here, please don't ban me Simon) that young kids have to get caught up in this type of cult behavior.

Big hug

TweetieBird

Hi Es, I feel bad for what you are going through. I was in the same position with my dad but in reverse. He da'd himself and I wouldn't have anything to do with him, at first. Inwardly I knew it was wrong to shun him no matter what the organization said. He's in turmoil, trying to be loyal to Jehovah (i.e. the organization) and still show his love to you. Hopefully he will someday realize that the organization and Jehovah are 2 seperate entities. I did. In the meantime, keep showing him love. My dad never stopped showing me love, even though I didn't deserve it at the time. Hang in there.

Es

Thanks so much all es

Dad (elder) called yesterday.

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