"Hey there all you lurkey ones..."

by Simon 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • VanishingAct


    My husband and I have been reading the posts on this DB for the past year. I enjoy research and have found an incredible amount of resources from the members of this board. We have been inactive since the early 90's and find that our list of questions is becoming longer rather than shorter--it's like trying to dig out of quicksand.

    Before the internet, so many stories were never told! If I would have had heard the voices of experience 20 years ago, my choices would have been very different.



  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    Thought it was about time this thread was brought back up top - so many new registered users in the last couple of weeks - would love to hear from some of you - seeing that user figure going up and up is such an encouragement to me! Long may it continue! How about introducing yourselves here? We'd love to hear from you.

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    Welcome Target:

    I am sorry about the situations you described and their negative outcomes. I hope everyone involved finds justice, love and peace!

    If you are browsing or researching, try some of the past topics in older threads. You will find a wealth of information, and most of all, well-researched references, sans bias.

    Enjoy yourself!

  • JBean

    Still Not Sure,

    Welcome! As I've stated a few times to the newbies who are "newer" than me (I've only been posting for about 1 week!) I share so MANY of the same issues/concerns as you do. I'm in... but not really, if you get my drift. I've missed soooooo many meetings this past year I've lost count, but since I live in another town from my folks, it's been easy to keep it a "secret" from them. As far as my congregation goes... no phone calls, no nothing. I get invited to the occassional get-together, but so far have made excuses not to go to each and every one of them. I just don't have the energy to deal with the "friends" at this point in time. Like you, I'm searching. And as I've also mentioned before... scared to death to make a break. Talk about all hell breaking loose.... I'm sorry about your work situation... you may want to start a job search for another corporation. Believe me, my office environment provides my ONLY sanity at times! Talk to you soon! JBean

  • Steven

    Hello All,

    My wife & I have been looking at this site for about 2 weeks. She noticed this thread so I thought I would say "hi!"

    We are a rapid pair - after years of thinking of course! Two weeks ago I raised the issue of not being an active witness anymore with my wife - since I felt I had tried my best, prayed, studied etc & still felt discouraged & guilty about not being able to do everything.

    Well this opened up the floodgates so to speak. We talked & talked then researched purely from past WT literature - couldn't look at any of that "terrible" internet stuff you know. Then after getting a bit surprised & shocked just by the things we found had changed in the WTS literature I thought "blow it all" & took that fatal plunge - I did a search on the internet for info on "Jehovah's Witnesses" - gasp!

    My wife was scared & I must admit I expected to find alot of rubbish & bitterness. Well since you invited people to comment I thought it was only fair to say how WRONG I was.

    Obviously every site has its own style but alot of the things/sites we have found have been very informative & useful - not bitter at all.

    Anyway back to the "rapid" part of my message (as you can see from my writing style I am lightning fast!) - in the last 2 days both my wife & I have handed in letters of disassociation.

    To be honest this leaves me feeling both very free & also slightly at a loss, sad, confused empty. Did others feel like this? I assume so -
    especially after reading some of the "My Story" articles. My wife feels alot freer - she feels as though she left in her heart a long time ago & hasn't been to many meetings for a long time - so perhaps that's it - her ties were already weaker.

    Anyway if any of you have got this far then congratulations - you have stamina!!

    Nuf said...


  • Steven

    Hi Vanishing Act,

    I don't know if this is the correct way to reply to you but here goes...

    I agree that the internet provides so much useful info - no wonder the WTS doesn't like people looking & yet if people were really allowed to research things properly then I believe individuals would have a lot firmer faith & footing - this applies to all religions.

    However instead so many religions tie their followers in & yet you don't realise that while you are in it.

    I spent 2 years studying & yet eventually just accepted certain things - made it a matter of faith I guess. Yet now I think that unless you are sure of something then you can't accept it. Its just a shame it took almost all of my adult life being a JW before I got out & realised this.

    This is only my 2nd "post" & also only my 1st full day since I wrote my disassociation letter so am a bit 'up in the air' at the moment to say the least but I wish you all the best in your continued research...


  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    Steven and Wife

    So, so, so good to have you here! And another UK'er too - brilliant. I was a 'rapid' one as well, pioneering one month then out the next - was at a bookstudy one night then came home and typed up my letter of disassociation. Have not looked back since. There was no point in dragging it out for me, I saw the hypocrisy and the errors and just ran. Then I found all this information on the internet and felt so justified in my actions - I felt so relieved that I was not alone, not the only one to walk away.

    I admire your courage in sending in your da letters - it takes a lot of guts to stand up to the organisation, it also takes a lot of guts to put up with the shunning - an inevitable fact of life when you leave. I am so glad that you have each other to lean on at this time, my husband left at the same time as I did which made things a whole lot easier, I don't think I could have coped very well living in a divided household....

    I sincerely wish you well for your future, enjoy the freedom that has been denied you for so long. Good to have you here!

  • Xena

    Gee Simon maybe they are still "lurking" waiting for the site admin to get back with them on something...hhhmmm...?

    lol just messing with you.....

  • FormerOne

    Figured since this post got brought back up to the top, it was time to "come out". I just registered today but have been lurking for a couple of months.

    My story in a nutshell: Raised a witness from the time I was about 8; dad never joined in; parents eventually divorced; aux. pioneered during high school; reg. pioneered after graduation (heaven forbid I go to college you know!); married another reg. pioneer; moved away from the only congregation I'd known and finally saw the organization for what it really was (is wasn't).

    Been away from the JWs for almost 10 years, no intention of ever going back, but finally decided to do some investigation into the organization just to "prove" to myself that being away was the right decision.

    Thanks for providing this forum for people like myself to get some much-needed information as well as support. Keep up the good work!

  • JBean

    Welcome FormerOne!
    I just want to say to everyone that I just cannot believe how many individuals who are now out (or thinking of coming out) were/are Pioneers, Overseers, Aux.'s, etc. I used to think that all "apostates" or whatever people prefer to call themselves MUST be the weaker sort...People who always have been on the fringes...or the ones who "just got by". I guess that just ain't so!

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