First i havent posted in awhile so i wanted to say hello to everyone. Also give you an update on my "love" life, or lack there of. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have posted "woah is me" threads before, but this one is more specific I was on and off dating a boy for a year. In the beginning i thought he was totally single. A few months later after we spent a lot of days (and nights) together i come to find out he has a pregnant girl whom he lives with!!!!! AY DIOS! After my initial wave of shock and hysteria he tells me her pregnancy was a last resort for their relationship but alas even that will not work. He claims he is with her only because of the baby but they are no longer romantically involved. I try to believe him but a few weeks later break up with him cuz you know i am too good for all that drama. Well about 2 months later he comes back into my life telling me that he loves his daughter but NOT her mother and they have decided to be just friends and he has moved out. He wants another chance to prove he wants me. Of course a few weeks later i agree but start things off slow and on MY terms. Things are better, but not perfect since the boy hasnt really had a new girlfriend in years since he was with baby momma all that time. We were together for 6 more months, until a few weeks ago he tells me he is still confused and thinks he wants to live with his daughter and in turn GET BACK WITH BABY MOMMA. I am more surprised at my naiveness than his actions and again hysterical crying asking him why he has decided it was my heart he wanted to break more than once, and asking myself why i let him. Well obviously that was the last straw and have now totally cut him out of my life. Unfortunately in the process i realized i love him and i miss him but would sooner cut my fingers off than dial his number. GOODBYE TO THE LOSER! Anyway i am better now but its so hard to meet a new guy. And im sorry but there is no better way to forget about someone with somebody else (as long as they dont mind being the rebound :) Why is it SO hard. And why always for the good girls
DAMN THE BOYS!!
by betty boop 29 Replies latest jw friends
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The Thinker
there..there, there..there. Old proverb and a warning too... "A Man uses Love to get Sex..A Woman uses Sex to get Love" think about it.
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talesin
Yah, you made the right decision. Buh-bye!
I love the new expression "He's just not that into you!". He's too into HIMSELF. (italics mine)
Have some fun with your friends, make new ones. There's lots of really nice fish in the sea. You have the right attitude, don't give him another chance! Time will heal it. Rebound relationships are kinda useless, I think. Feel the pain, work through it, have your crying times. Think about how you would handle it differently, and move on. If you wanna have a fling, sure, but know it's a fling and will not last.
t
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betty boop
Yes T that is what i have been trying to do just forget about him and enjoy the summer with my friends or a nice guy if he comes along. And yes a fling would be great! But def not falling for him :)
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wanderlustguy
And im sorry but there is no better way to forget about someone with somebody else (as long as they dont mind being the rebound :)
Yoo hoo....hey...back heeeere....yea, in the back of the hall...
Sorry, it was just too good to pass up. I actually did try this once and found myself more miserable than I was before. Not much worse than not being able to stand your own reflection in the mirror...
Just know it isn't your fault, yes you were taken advantage of, but now just don't let it happen again. Stupidity is described as doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result...Learn and grow.
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love11
The problem is, you were expecting him to be the honest wonderful man that you fell in love with, when that man never existed. It was the man you wanted him to be. Alot of times us "good girls" believe that when someone says something to us, they are telling the truth, because that is what we would do. But they do not have the same morals and guidelines that we have. Sorry to say it, but he was just lying to you to get some boodie while his girl was fat, moody, and the baby was staying up all night. I know you realize that now. I've got to hand it to you, alot of girls would just keep coming back for more and more pain, just wishing and hoping that he changes. That person you love and miss, is not really him, it's only the person he becomes in front of you. Next time you go looking for someone special, don't let your heart cloud your mind. Look at a man like a business deal, does he have all of the attributes I'm looking for, do we work good together in everyday life or only in the bedroom? These are questions that if you ask yourself honestly, you will be able to weed out the liars and cheats. And always, always check his story. It's going to be hard at first, but it will be worth it in the end. Love
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betty boop
Yes Love you are right. Being young and dealing with all the BS its hard not to get clouded in the process. But i take these bad experiences as experience to know what and what not to do
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jaredg
back off donnie she's too young for you!! p.s. i got your message like 5 days after you left it...my phone is all f'ed up
betty...come over here darlin so i can rub your back and tell you that everything is going to be alright
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Elsewhere
Holy Bu-Jebus! He went and knocked up a girl thinking it would improve their relationship?!?!?!
Why do people do that??? Is it just me or does it sound extremely selfish to bring a child into the world for the sole purpose of trying to fix a personal problem???
This is a frigg'in child... a person... another human... and they are trying to use this person to fix their own problem???
Damn.
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avishai
there..there, there..there. Old proverb and a warning too... "A Man uses Love to get Sex..A Woman uses Sex to get Love" think about it.
Sexist, bullshit phrase, and I for one REALLY resent it. On to your post. The operative word your using is BOY!! This guy is a BAD parent, Dating someone else while lliving with pregnant baby mama is a HUGE no no even if they are NOT together, and what the hell were you doing enabling that and enabling stress on a pregnant woman and unborn child? Put yourself in her shoes. I realize you eventually broke it off, but geez....Then right back into it with a man with a Newborn? What the hell is he doing seeing another woman with a one or two month old baby at home, and what are you doing enabling that? Having a newborn is a full time job, and making money for one should be too.
Why is it SO hard. And why always for the good girls
I'd say the good girl is the baby momma here. Go get counseling for codependency, hon. Not knocking you at all, I'm sorry you went through this, but..... C'mon! The second you hear this crap, don't talk to the guy again, and move on. Guy's like this are BOY'S!! Not MEN. And this piece of work, strangely, sounds like he's finally manning up and doing what's right!!