Ads We'd Like To See If Watchtower Publications Allowed Advertising

by Stephanus 14 Replies latest social humour

  • hippikon

    How about Miracle Wheat ?

    On second thoughts no one is that stupid.

  • zaphod

    nocturnal anti-masturbation boxing gloves

    with complimentary mouth-held page turner for ease of reading upbuilding texts while you fall into an erotic-dream-free sleep.

    male and female styles available.

    for the ladies - $45

    for the gents - $45 (chastity posing pouch sold separately $50)

    for chronic sufferers

    - $150

    make cheques payable to...hell you know who

  • Honesty

    Are the nasty apostates causing you to have serious doubts that this is truly Jehovah's organisation presided over in fine fashion by the Faithful Discreet Slave Class?

    Have no fear the Apostakit is here and available for only $49.99 !

    Guaranteed to repel apostates of all shapes and sizes!!

    The Apostakit consists of the following to help you Proclaim the Pair-o-dice while denying the apostate's message of doom and gloom for Jehovah's crowd:

    1 pair of deluxe UV rated sunglasses with pull-down 1/16" mirrored stainless steel visor to hurl the apostate's message right back at 'em

    3 pairs of surgical gloves to protect your delicate hands from apostafection while you are properly disposing of the the documented literature exposing WT lies and corruption.

    2 sets of heavy duty mil-spec earmuffs to drown out the loudest apostate PA systems condemning WT pedophile cover-ups and prohibitions on blood as you walk from your car to the assembly hall for the District and Circus Assemblies of Jah's righteous people.

    And as a special incentive for the first 10 callers we are giving away, that's right giving away 4 Get Outta The Cult Passes just in case the apostates manage to penetrate the Apostakit's defense mechanisms and you decide you have had enough of the WT BS. These come in real handy because you can give them to the JC that is about to DF you and your family for believing the truth about the truth and the brothers will forego announcing that ____ and _____ are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses to the congregation. This will help keep most of the rumors speculating about which immoral sins you are guilty of from reaching current JW family members you wish to keep from disposing of you like garbage.

    Have your Field Service Report in hand for an extra 10% discount along with your credit card # or bank routing # and call toll-free 1-800- BLINDME

  • zaphod

    it's the

  • Stephanus

    Depends - keeping governing bodies dry for decades.

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