So sick and tired of the double standard

by ValiantBoy 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • sweet tee
    sweet tee
    Pointing out the obvious: This is yet another example of JWs ignoring normal social etiquette. It is not up to a wedding guest (or invitee to any social event) to determine the venue, nor is it appropriate to complain about it. An invitee should simply accept or decline an invitation, not attempt to manipulate its conditions.

    Great post rebel8. Witnesses want everyone to cow-tow to their weird beliefs. They have no social etiquette ... which is why I am still trying to catch up on mine (lol).

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    I am going out with a lovely boy and my JW mother has asked me to please not get married in a church otherwise she wouldn't be able to go. (Not that I am engaged or anything.)

    I asked her why she could go to my grandmothers funeral in a catholic church if she can't go to my wedding in a church.

    Its the principle of the thing that got me. I hadn't even thought about it to be quite frank but it just annoys me that she would request that at all...

    Miss Peaches

  • Frog
    Frog

    Hey there VB,...vent vent away! My parents wouldn't allow us to attend the funeral of my grandfather when I was 12, which shattered my poor grandmothers heart, I wish I was brave enough then to stand up to them and go in anyway.

    Weddings bring the worst out in familes don't they? Especially if it's a wedding in a mixed jw/ex-jw family, I think it is great that you have been able to put your mother in her place. I realise that she must be hurting, but there is nothing you can do to prevent this. As you say it is your duty as a sister to support your sisters choices, despite that you might not always agree with them.

    Well, all the best, and enjoy the family. luv froglett

  • lolipopp
    lolipopp

    Dear Froglett, there is no reasoning with people who reason in a circle. You just go round and round and get nowhere. That can really be frustrating when your reasoning with someone you love. My oldest son, who is an elder, along with his JW family (who shun me completely) would not come to visit his dying brother, my youngest son, because he was disfellowshipped, even though the youngest had asked to see him. Witnesses were not allowed to attend funeral services if they were in a church so when one of our JW friends mother died no one was going to the funeral to give the "sister" support. A few of us went to the services anyway and never heard anything more about it. Fortunately there still are some within that incredibly controlling organization, no different from the catholic church in so many regards, who use their own mind and heart and act with impunity or in willingness to "suffer" (ah sweet release) the consequence. The organization that claims to be based on love is based on nothing more than guilt and fear and worse of all lies. Those who are followers, like most of us here, were followers out of sincerity and innocence feeling we were learning to please God, until reality smacked us right between the eyes. I do hope your mother changes her mind and attends the wedding, she will regret it in days to come. It will be difficult to make up for the hurt given to those who came out of her womb. I hope the gentleness of our Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus will allow you a happy wedding day.

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    a person may go to a church for a wedding or funeral so long as they are none paticipants.

    you would think that if the JWs sell their property to the churches surely they shouldn't object to a witness going to a church for a wedding and or funeral.

    there is much hypocrisy with in the WTS, its sickening .

    April 15th WatchTower 1997 says this regarding weddings.

    But what about attending weddings of neighbors, worldly fellow workers, or distant relatives and acquaintances? Each Christian must personally decide on this. It is good to bear in mind that our time is precious, since we need time for our ministry, personal study, and other family and congregational pursuits. (Ephesians 5:15, 16) On weekends, we have meetings and field service that we do not want to miss. (Hebrews 10:24, 25) The timing of many weddings conflicts with assemblies or special service efforts linked to the Lord?s Evening Meal. We should not permit ourselves to become distracted from making the same special efforts that our brothers around the world are making to attend the Lord?s Evening Meal. Before coming to a knowledge of the truth, we spent much time with worldly people, perhaps in circumstances that dishonored God. (1 Peter 4:3, 4) Now our priorities are different. It is always possible to wish a worldly couple well by sending a card or dropping in for a brief visit on another day. Some have used such occasions to give a witness, sharing some scriptures that are fitting for newlyweds

    So the consenses is this: that it is a matter of conscience. Surely if Jesus Christ attended a wedding and made wonderful water into the best of wines and it is probable that there were not all believers. Because there were those who were all ready drunk with the regular wine and those who weren't enibriated would appreciate the better wine provided by Christ's miracle. If you think about it it makes sense.

    I find some witnesses so self righteous it makes me nauseated. They think that they are better than anyone in the world. Boy are they going to get a rude awakening some day.

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    Another point I would like to bring to your attention regarding attending worldly weddings, the Society published in 1991 the Greatest Man that Ever Lived, in chapter 15 you will find some very interesting things about this wedding in Cana.

    Here is what it says. Chapter 15

    Jesus? First Miracle

    IT HAS been only a day or two since Andrew, Peter, John, Philip, Nathanael, and perhaps James became Jesus? first disciples. These now are on their way home to the district of Galilee, where all of them originated. Their destination is Cana, the hometown of Nathanael, located in the hills not far from Nazareth, where Jesus himself grew up. They have been invited to a wedding feast in Cana.

    Jesus? mother too has come to the wedding. As a friend of the family of the ones getting married, Mary appears to have been involved in ministering to the needs of the many guests. So she is quick to note a shortage, which she reports to Jesus: "They have no wine."

    When Mary thus, in effect, suggests that Jesus do something about the lack of wine, Jesus at first is reluctant. "What have I to do with you?" he asks. As God?s appointed King, he is not to be directed in his activity by family or friends. So Mary wisely leaves the matter in her son?s hands, simply saying to those ministering: "Whatever he tells you, do."

    Well, there are six large stone water jars, each of which can hold over ten gallons [40 L]. Jesus instructs those ministering: "Fill the water jars with water." And the attendants fill them to the brim. Then Jesus says: "Draw some out now and take it to the director of the feast."

    The director is impressed by the fine quality of the wine, not realizing that it has been miraculously produced. Calling the bridegroom, he says: "Every other man puts out the fine wine first, and when people are intoxicated, the inferior. You have reserved the fine wine until now."

    This is the first miracle of Jesus, and on their seeing it, the faith of his new disciples is strengthened. Afterward, along with his mother and his half brothers, they travel to the city of Capernaum near the Sea of Galilee. John 2:1-12.

    End.

    Interesting isn't it that JC was at a wedding in which there was intoxication.

    Not all Jesus' half brothers were believers. "Insight Book"

    gives us this info along with scriptures to back it up

    So I thought you'd find this interesting and perhaps you can make a proposal to your mother.

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