lolipopp
JoinedWhen I arrived back to this country, from Brazil, in 1947 I stayed with relatives in NY before coming to California. They were JW's. Of course I had to get the tour of Bethel and the printing offices and got some indoctrination which I didn't understand since my English was very poor. In 1949 I married and we lived with his folks for a while. Surprise surprise, my mother in law was a JW. She made sure I went to book study. I felt obligated to go with her because she was my elder. I was also given bibles and books to read and a lot of yakety yak. In Dec 1957 I finally gave in and started studying. No hell fire, a peaceful earth to live in UAU, I was hooked and soon was baptized (Nov 1958). In 1959 went with my teacher to the Dist Assembly in NY and while passing by WTS hdqtrs I remembered having been there years prior! I also found my cousins name (the one I met when first arrived in US) in the yearbook as being at Bethel. By 1966-1968 many things were starting to give me doubts although I was a pioneer and husband a servant/elder. It took me until 1988 to start the leaving process and stopped attending most of the meetings. I had three children. The two youngest were eventually disfellowshipped because they saw thru the WTS agenda before I did and didn't want it. Actually, their disfellowshipping was such a farce and so against what the recently released book for elders eyes only which my husband had left behind when he decided to leave the family. My childrens disfellowshipment didn't stop me from continuing my association with them; they were my flesh and blood. I carried them for 9 months, they came from my body, I loved them and no one was going to come between me and them. My oldest son remained a JW, is an elder and he, his children and their families started shunning me a couple of years ago. It took that to allow me the freedom to openly voice how I felt about the WTS. My youngest son passed away in my home in 1991 and his JW brother would not come to see him before he died. Not sure I've forgotten the hurt we felt. After all, his youngest brother was disfellowshipped and I was that "apostate"!! I feel good about the fact that he can be trusted to stand up for what he believes regardless of the consequences but it still hurts. Oh well, my faith is still alive but now I use my free mind to discover whatever I wish, be it politics, religions, art or whatever is in this world I live in which I may wish to read or learn about. I have also discovered a talent for oil painting, jewelry making, and crochet/knitting, among other things. Best of all I spend time with family and real friends, no longer using the excuse "I'm so busy". There is so much more to my story and experience as a JW but I would have to write a book to tell it so, I'll stop now.