welcome to the board. you have found a great bunch of people here. i agree with some of the sentiment to take it slowly and easy with disproving "the truth" to yourself. it is an emotionally tumultuous experience, no doubt! you need to find resources that are as neutral as possible. for me, timothy campbell's site, beyondjw.com, had a big influence on me because of the way he presents his arguments. but there are lots of good resources out there too.
Please tell me that there are other ppl out there that feel mixed up with it all?
yes, there are many.