how can you stay?

by zaphod 34 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Flindersgirl

  People basically have 4 ways to leave:

  DFing

  DAing

  Fading

  Dying

  My sister chose dying, she got cancer and refused to treat it...she took vitamins and 3 years later it had mestatised to her brain, she had over 30 brain tumors. If she'd treated it she would have lived. She used to tell me, "I'd be happier if I wasn't a JW...but it's what God wants..." the unspoken, as I mentioned in another post, was that is that it was what our Mum wanted. She just couldn't leave, couldn't face the consequences...so when she found out she had cancer at 39 it was a way out of a life that was very unhappy where she could be seen as a "faithful to the end" sister. I miss her and think of her every single day. Do I judge her for her decision? No...I can understand it..but it makes me realise just how destructive this faith really is...when you cannot cope with living in it another day that death by cancer is preferrable. I am grateful just to be me...stroppy outspoken 5 foot nothing scrapper that I am
• 

  zaphod

  hello flindersgirl

  first can i say how much your sister's story touched me. so much so, that i feel that i have to reply to it.

  She just couldn't leave, couldn't face the consequences...so when she found out she had cancer at 39 it was a way out of a life that was very unhappy where she could be seen as a "faithful to the end" sister.

  this is what bugs me so much about the jw's. even though they are supposed to worship "with spirit and truth" and develop the "spiritual man", when it comes down to it, it is really what the elders and other brothers and sisters think of you that is most important. because if god can see into our hearts. he knows our motives so pretense is futile.

  i am not knocking your sister for making this decision but it was really forced upon her by the organisation, who have this power, not only over our lives , but it seems over our lasting memory too.

  a way out of a life that was very unhappy where she could be seen as a "faithful to the end" sister.

  noone could read your sister's story and believe that these people are following a god of love.

  my best wishes

  zaphod
• 

  donald

  well almost all my family is in the JWS....if i DS or was DF...id lose them all...Donald
• 

  BluesBrother

  Great comments so far, I can only speak for myself and I will try not to reveal too much, just in case.. I guess that shows the situation I am in.

  I too am "Inactive" . I attend on Sundays when my wife does. Why? Well, it is something that we can do together on a weekend! Without that we would hardly have any communication or common activity.Secondly, I am curious to see what goes on. I can then get up to date publications that I can occasionaly share on the board.

  My wife changed congo since I was active and these people hardly knew me as I was , so I think that helps. The elders leave me alone so far. I am just another "Sisters husband"

  Am I a hypocrite? I have been quite straight (although polite) with the elders when we have had discussions. My wife and family know where I stand, but my wife is savvy enough not to tell them that I use the internet "apostate" network. I have even dropped big hints on that to the elders but they dont seem to want to investigate or ask hard questions of me.

  I am waiting for the day when somebody complains and an issue is made and I am investigated . Then I will debate and tie up their time as long as possibe. Why make it easy for them by d/a ?

  That is what they want us to do so, they have us gone nice and simple

  My chosen path gives me relative peace at home, contact with family, and the chance to vent on here and the opportunity to reason with those dubs on the inside, when I can...Sounds better to me.
• 

  burnthepig

  These are some truly heartfelt comments.. and I just wanted to add.. I left.. It was the hardest thing I have ever Done in my life! (And I gave birth, no drugs, to 2 children!) (OUCH!) But seriously.. I tried to explain it to my brother.. This one point..:

  Being "out" of the (so-called) truth.. Is a Much harder Path than Being "in"..

  I am sure this is not true for everyone.,. But for me.. I come from a large, close, family.. I was born into it.. I went through having my two children without my Mother there.. After I had watched her be in the delivery room for so many of the "Sisters" Yet not for me. SHe didn't even see my children until they were almost 1 and 2.. Being a wittness had it's definite perks.. I was "In" with the 'In" crowd..(chzy, I know) Lots of vaations.. Lots of perks through services.. etc.. Had a wonderful circle of friends.. I tell people that it was alot like that movie "the Firm"... Now I think it's much more like the "Stepford Wives"

  So now I take the hard & narrow path they spoke so much about.. tou che'!

  piggie