how can you stay?

by zaphod 34 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  under74

  It's actually not that simple r8. Fear of change applies to those that have nothing to lose.
• 

  zaphod

  I've said this before that it can be like straddling a picket fence that gets higher and higher gradually.

  when you put it like that it actually sounds quite nice

  zaphod
• 

  googlemagoogle

  i'm one of those who still stay in. it's because of family and friends. nothing less.
  
  it's pretty hard to listen to all that crap in the meetings, that's why i try to skip them amap. there's a huge breakdown with my wife every few months, but that's alright. sometimes i offer some of my views to different topics when talking to my family and my friends but other than that i calmed down and still calm down when it comes to religion.
  
  the less you care about "truth" in the religious sense, the less problems i have staying in the org.
• 

  Chia

  Ditto for me. My family, all the way. I mean, there have been times when I get so mad at my mom and sister's narrow-minded way of thinking that I say to myself, "If they're going to be like that, I don't want them in my life anyway." But that's simply not true. I don't know if I'll be successful, but I'll give it a heck of a go(not supposed to use profanity here, right?). Believe me, I am more than tired of living the lie. But we all have our reasons for doing what we do. I wish I was thick-skinned enough to DA myself. But I'm not. So this is the only way for now.
• 

  Jez

  finally be true to yourself.

  What does that statement mean? People throw it around because it gives the pretense that they are 'being true to themselves' while others are not. Are you true to yourself? Is every aspect of your life lived in accordance with your 'true self'?

  My family is at the very core of myself. Without them, I am missing a part of 'me'.

  deny something so fundemental to their own health and well-being

  What are we denying ourselves again? Family is fundemental to MY own health and well-being. If it is not to YOURS, then that is YOUR decision.

  encouraging them to think about it

  Are you SERIOUS? You really think that those of us doing things 'for family only' do not think of it almost every single day??? We are on the same road as all of you, we have just taken a different path.

  Jez
• 

  roybatty

  I know it may be hard to understand, but if you picture your kids growing up without their family you may understand.

  For me, the kids were that "extra" push out the door. Thinking back to when I decided to leave it was close to the time my son was entering middle school. It became evident to me all the things he'd miss out on and the abnormal life style he'd be forced to have. I just couldn't allow it. I said to myself "enough is enough. i'm breaking this chain."

  He's now a freshman in high school and is having the time of his life (the way it should be). I was at his track meet yesterday, watching him run on the varsity team. I was so proud of him and thought about all the memories he already has. Winning a championship in football, having normal friends, starting a band, going to school dances, celibrating the holidays and having birthday parties.

  I paid a heavy price (like most ex-JWs here) but letting either one of my kids being raised as a JW would have been a complete waste of two lives that are the most precious things to me.
• 

  IP_SEC

  Trying to get all my ducks in a row. Thats all. Does it suck to not be able to just walk away? Yes, but I need to do things right for my wife, and all of those other poor unfortunates who havent seen the truth yet.

  Contact with an apostate will cause one of two things to happen. Either it will fire them up and make them a real on fire dubby dub dub, or it will eat at them until they take a look for themselves. I hope if I leave right, it will have the effect of the latter on most.

  I'm proly wrong tho
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  Trying to get all my ducks in a row. Thats all. Does it suck to not be able to just walk away? Yes, but I need to do things right for my wife

  Not to single IP_SEC out, but I admire all those that are staying in for this reason. They are trying to exit in a way that gives them time to reason with their spouse and children, to help them gently see that things are not as they seem. If you stand up one day in the middle of the meeting and proclaim, "This is all stupid! We're wasting out lives! Everyone, to the door!" you will walk out alone. If you do it quietly, skillfully, you have a chance of bringing those you love out with you.

  If you're stabbed, it's not always a great idea to yank the knife right out. You'll do even more damage when you open the hole up. A slow, skillful removal is best.

  Not to say everybody's cut out for fading, I don't know how long I could have put up with it. Definitely not years, maybe a few months. I got lucky and it wasn't necessary to save my immediate family.

  Dave
• 

  zaphod

  touched a nerve

  soz
• 

  IP_SEC

  Thanks there AA!

  touched a nerve

  Nope, you just asked a good question and got some good answers.