Something I?ve wanted to ask you all for a while. Had you 100% denounced JW doctrine to yourself at the time of your leaving the org? I know many have said that specific issues prompted them to leave i.e., WT membership in the UN, Silent Lambs/child Molestation policy, Malawi political party card issues, Inconsistent changes in doctrine i.e., 1975/1914 generation not passing?new light begets old light begets new light etc. I suppose for most it?s possible that their trigger might have been an accumulation of inconsistencies over time. It is unlikely for those with strength of character that you would have continued to do time in the org after the scale had tipped against the favour of a life as a JW. So, at that time you?re still left with some remnants of a JW belief system until you make a life away from the org & overwrite them with newly rationalised beliefs.
I should get to the point?when you?re raised as a dub from childhood, and are sheltered from the reality of the world, even if you are a reasonably intelligent person indoctrination can take hold. Even after you left the org, continuing to the present, are there some small things, which go against your rational mind, which brings back slight fear and anxiety? It?s almost a flight or fight response, you?ve not consciously reacted to say the ?News? in a particular way, but before you know it the old inputs in your brain have calculated out an old JW response. When you become aware of it, you quickly remind yourself about why you are absolutely adamant that you no longer believe that line of thought is credible for whatever reasons.
The brain is after all a very complex machine in that it works on inputs to create an output, so with 20 years or more of JW inputs can you overwrite the old inputs with new inputs therefore change the outcome of the output? In my case, I was a reasonably devout witness for the first 22 years of my life, I am now 25. How many years away from the faith do you have to spend before the old inputs are completely overwritten by the new ones, will it take another 19years?? It bothers me that I have these occasional lapses.
Thoughts & experiences pleasefroglett