Do you think a 7 and 9 year old kid should have a cell phone?

by Eyebrow2 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • beebee

    Hey Crumpet - We've got walkie-talkies for that purpose. We use them in the neighborhood when the younger ones are out and about (10 yr olds). I only bought my TEEN daughters cell phones when their lives got so busy they were frequently out and there's a need to know where they are - issues like do they need to be picked up, when will they be home, etc. My 10 yr old doesn't go anywhere on his own (except around the neighborhood), where I am not taking him there and picking him up (like a friend's house, or hockey, etc.). So where is there a need for a phone?

    I don't think I would make the girls call their mom. After all, she's the one with the tricky schedule and can certainly call them at will and the fact they don't spontaneously call her often may help her "get a clue" that they are little girls that are too busy doing kid stuff to remember to call.

    I also agree with the poster who mentioned that the cell phones (or even phones in the bedroom) reduce your supervision capacity and that is SO important for their safety. You are right about the IM thing too. Since my kids have family out of state, they do have IM capabilities, but for the 10 year old, I decide who is on his buddy list and when it can be on, and he is supervised. You can install software to log chats and IMs btw. Truth is that he almost never uses it. I pay $20 a month for unlimited long distance on the landline so he'd much rather chat by phone.

    I think a lot of the things people give younger kids, like cell phones, push them to be more grown up than a kid should be. It is too much responsibility, plus it sometimes creates problems with their peers who may be jealous "so and so has a cell phone." It's kind of like allowing them to dress like little teenagers, yes it's possible, but IMHO, not a good idea.

    I HAVE teen girls, and pushing them to grow up to fast backfires in a big way! All 14 year olds THINK they know everything, but the girl that's been allowed to have all the big kid stuff early is often completely out of control as a teen. I've seen it. Mom spends all that energy playing "friend," enforcing few limits when they are young, and living vicariously through their young daughters ("I want her to be cool, popular, beautiful, have all the things I didn't, etc."), that when the hormones kick in, they have no respect for their parents and incur all sorts of problems.

    Let them be kids. childhood is so darn short as it is.

  • Abaddon

    How else can they order crack and hookers?

  • Crumpet

    Hey beebee -

    We've got walkie-talkies for that purpose.

    We have walkie talkie's too, but they are big bulky objects (which have been decommisioned and are now used to tell me when my dinner is ready when I'm out in the garden writing!). Also the phone fits snugly into her jeans pocket. It was just a hand me down - it wasn't bought specially for her. We wouldn't let her have one permanently until she's a teenager and paying for it herself. We just basically use it as a walkie talkie, so we know exactly where she is and as for her she feels she's got a little measure of responsibility and independence.

    And when she and her (big thumbed) father went for a little holiday the other day it was nice for me to get little postcard texts telling me what they were doing, while I was stuck in the office!

  • jaffacake

    My son & daughter had cell phones at about 9 up & were taught to use them very responsibly. The craze soon died down & now they are a bit older 15 & 11, I am always nagging them to take them with them so we can keep in touch.

    I really don't see the big deal, they are another tool that can be used badly or responsibly. Trust is so important, with proper safeguards. I know all this goes against JW conditioning etc.

    My kids have lost nothing of their childhood as a result & have are very well adjusted, if anything young for their age. Perhaps it depends on the individual, I know my kids well & know its not a problem.

  • Eyebrow2

    Abaddon that is funny.

    Crumpet...others with kids with cell phones: It isn't really the cell phone itself that really irritates me so is her insistance that THEY have to be responsible to call her, and that she wanted them to take it to school. From what the 7 year old told me, she was adamant that we don't have the right to tell them they cannot take it to school. WTF? If she is going to send it to MY house, she really doesn't have the right to make the rules on it. me a control freak.

    I have let my son take one of our cells with him before. Last summer when he visited relatives out of state I sent one with him. But, he was roaming the neighborhood with old friends, and it made it easier for me and his grand mother to check up on him. (by the way, he lost it a few months later...oh well!)

    When they come home from school I ask them to wait an hour to call their mom, until my son gets home. There are a few reasons for this: firstly, I noticed that she is never availalbe when they call right after school; second, I get a lot of business calls, and am trying to keep my youngest two quiet for that. I want to make sure that they can talk to their mom with out a lot of background noise. (why worry about this? well, their mom gets really pissed if the little two annoy them on the phone. Somewhat understandabel). My son can help me run interference whe he is home. (Also, they fight big time over whose turn it is to call and leave a message...god...they are just little kids after all)

    We are taking all the kids to a Ren fest this Sunday. We specifically planned it this Sunday because she doesn't have the kids, I wanted to make sure we planned it when it wouldn't interfere with her time with them. So the girls tell her all about...which is fine...I would expect and want them to keep her up on what we all do together. I would have told her myself if she would bother returning my calls or talk to me on the phone. But now she tells them that she will go with us. Wow, that REALLY pissed me off. I asked to talk to their mom when they were done...(I wanted to get her email to send her some recent pictures of the girls)...but she only talks to me when she calls to have me or the hubby drive them to meet her for their bi weekly pick up. ARGHH!!! I told the kids that either me or dad would talk to her about it. I told him behind closed way jose...we have been planning this for several weeks. I hate to sound selfish..and maybe I am ...but she gets them for all the real quality holidays, she refuses to even try to adjust her schedule to spend more time with them. This is a special time to spend altogether. If she comes, she and her fiance (who is a very nice guy by the way) will just take off with them and we won't see them all day. I know this because we have tried to do stuff together in the past and that is what they have done.

    My husband was like, oh okay if she wants to come. I was like no FRIGGING WAY!! She can take them another time. Hey...I will make sure they bring their phone with them so that they can talk to her.

    Maybe I am being a bitch, but I have to tell you, after having to do 99% of the hard part with the girls (we had the younger one more years than her mom ever has...because she couldn't deal with her difficult toddler years; I am the one that makes all the unpleasant dentist visits...etc.) I think maybe I have a right to be a little bitchy about it sometimes. I know if she shows up, I will have to put on the good step mommy face and airs, I don't want to ruin the trip for the kids after all...but man...sheesh it really isn't fair sometimes, you know? I moved 2200 miles to make sure we could be close to their mom so that she and us could see them more.

  • freedom96

    We certainly live in a different time and age.

    Do I think young children need to be on the phone talking to their friends all the time? No.

    For protection, and help knowing where your kids are, is a different matter, and an interesting thought.

    I'll tell you this: I promise you that a parent who has had something bad happen to their child sure wish they had access to a cell phone. I would rather error on the side of being "silly" for allowing my kids to have one.

    That being said, my children do not have one. Yet.

  • Crumpet
    Do I think young children need to be on the phone talking to their friends all the time? No.

    It is primarily for safety. There are only 4 numbers programmed into the phone, my mobile, her Dad's mobile, her grandparents mobile (they live 800 miles away and adore getting little texts from her telling them what she is up to when she comes to visit us) and our home number.

  • Eyebrow2

    it definately can be a helpful tool.

    Actually, I think I may tell them to bring it with them when we go to the Ren fest this weekend, in case we get seperated by mistake.

    I guess I really should be grateful that their mom at least wants to be in contact with them. I guess I just don't agree with how she goes about it.

  • ShadowX

    LOL Abaddon

  • bikerchic

    Do I think a 7 and 9 year old kid should have a cell phone..........NO! Unless they can sign the contract or buy the phone and pay the bill themselves never!

    On the other hand since the deed is already done whatcha gunna do?

    Anyhoo...their mom bought them a cell phone. She told them now they could call any time they wanted too. She even told them to take it to school. She has them 24 hours every two weeks because of her work schedule. (she only has one weekend day off every two weeks). My husband told her they could not take it to is against the rules after all. And he also told her, look, any time they ask they get to call. Why don't you pick up the phone and call them more often? But she says she wants them to call when they WANT to call. She doesn't seem to get that they are LITTLE GIRLS!!!

    Already they have lost the phone once, almost broke it by leaving it on the floor. They have spoken to her once in the last few days that they have had it...but I had them try like three times Tuesday after noon and no answer. I told my husband that I would do what I could to remind them to put it away and charge it and all that, but if they lose it, tough.

    Good grief, you could encourage them to call A LOT, TALK A LOT and as long as Mommy is paying the bill make sure it's during PEEK hours! She just might get sick of the phone bill and renig on it, but then that would be really sad for the girls........what was that woman thinking?

    Hope of all hopes maybe they will lose or break the darn thing and that might be the end of cell phones for them. They are just kids good grief!

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