The best way for an ex-dub to get people out IMHO is to first learn as much as you can about everything that's wrong with the church. This website has some wonderful resources and discussion points. Quotes site does too. Rick Ross's website is full of current events regarding the JW's as well.
The next thing you have to consider is where the loved one's head is at. If they aren't talking to you then there's really nothing you can do except patiently ignore their shabby treatment of you and remind them that you'll always be there for them. Keep in mind that it's not really the person that's rejecting you it's their JW mindset. Once that mindset is gone things will slowly go back to normal.
If they are talking to you then chances are that they either haven't been fully indoctrinated or they're having doubts about their faith. After all, why else would they deal with such a unrepentantly wicked worldy person such as yourself? Build (or rebuild) the relationship slowly. Ask them general questions about the hall. Who's still going, who's moved, new people coming in ect. Moving on, ask them about some of the "new light" you've been hearing about lately (don't tell them where you've been getting your info from though). If you're ever asked to come back to the hall politely decline. If they ask why simply say "it's just not for me".
As time goes on ask them innocent questions about their personal feeling about God, life, the church, etc. Don't pry too hard and more importantly, DON'T SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THE JW's. Wait for them to come to you with their own criticisms. They eventually will because you are in a very unique position. On one hand you have an intimate knowledge of what they're going through yet you're also not in any position to turn them in.
If they say something like "So-and-so just got disfellowshipped. That's too bad cuz we used to have a lot of fun together." ask them how they feel about disfellowshipping. Do they think it works? Do they think it's fair? Do they think that it's something God intended. Again, you have to move slowly. If they're upset because their aplication to pioneer was just turned down. Ask them what they think about the preaching work. Do they like it? Do they get nervous at the door? how are they doing with their Bible study{s)? How many people have you converted? What you're trying to do is make them doubt the happiness and purpose of their dub life. Once you've established this THEN and only then can you expose the WTBS lies and falsehoods.
Once you've told them keep in mind that they still might not leave. They might even shun you. Don't worry though. You can't destroy someone's entire world and expect them to pick up the pieces and move on in a day or two. Once they've realised that they are in a cult they still have to plan an exit stratagy and more importantly, figure out what they're going to do with the rest of their lives.
Getting someone out of the org is not a quick and easy process. It can take years. It's also like getting a family member off of heroin in that in order for them to make any progress THEY have to make the first step.
Much like CYP I encourage everyone to criticise my plan. Especially since I'm going to try and get my sister out.
Help me out with some feedback: How to build trust with jw cult identity
by Check_Your_Premises 22 Replies latest jw experiences
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what_Truth?
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Sirona
I would never join or condone a destructive cult like the JWs purely to try and get someone "out"!
I think that most of that post was total rubbish. Just my opinion.
Sirona
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M.J.
Thanks, W.T. for your thoughts. I like your suggestions on discussing the JW's personal day-to-day feelings and experiences rather than focusing on the doctrines surrounding such matters. I need to work on opening the dialogue in a non-threatening manner. Currently my wife and I have wonderful rapport but when the subject turns to religion we each sub-consciously go into "battle mode", so typically the subject is avoided to avert the unpleasantness associated with it.