Funny how each responded so dramatically different:
When he brought up his grievances with the Dub he was adamant that I do not approach the dub and that he would handle the situtation better in the future.
...I spoke with the dub. She walked into my office with such attitude and defiance, ... she wanted a transfer from her unit to another unit where she would not have any interaction with the Df guy. ...walked out of my office in a huff and no doubt went straight the HR.
Who's the grown up? Who's the 'Christian'?? I think it's quite clear.
Note: The newly DF'ed guy really felt bad for him. ... Don't quite what to do
Umm I have few thoughts.
Reassure him that he is a valuable member of your team. Being part of team, we sometimes have to assist our teammates when they are injured. He's injured right now. Now doubt he's been there when you needed special help with something (special project, special customer, difficult situation) and this is a time when the tables are turned and he's allowed a little extra consideration in return.
Can you give him an extra personal day (if he wants/needs one?)
Does he need a little cash to move into new home?
(I don't know specifics of your df'd guy, but someone at my work became seriously ill shortly after we were hired. When he was there, he was great but after 4months employment, he was absent more than he was present. Even spent a week or two in the hospital. Drs didn't know what was wrong with him. When he'd come in - sat next to me - he be so worried that he was going be fired because he wasn't living up to his commitment to our manager. He was almost in tears. Had just gotten married. Really needed the money. Poor guy was just getting no rest from worrying about personal issues and job, too. Manager spoke with him privately. Assured him the job was secure. Offered to look into company assistance/help with personal expenses (Drs bills, food, etc.) That conversation did soo much good for that employees overall mental health that it helped him more quickly get a handle on his personal health situation. Stronger commitment to the company and that respect radiated thru our department. He's a strong member of our team even now.)
Referral to psychologist to safely express himself and perhaps get clarity on what he wants to JW-wise. (Some companies offer assistance to employees for a few sessions to get thru crisis)
How about a social event for your team? Like a night out to go bowling or play softball or something physical?
Join you at the gym?
Does he have a support group? Friends?? I'd like to suggest inviting him for a meal but there may be thoughts of favoritism amongst others. Can't figure if this is a good idea or not. I think I like the team play better. Something fun for everyone but something that you are positive he will participate in.
Ask him what might ease his emotional pain.
Gain commitment that if stress is getting too strong to let you know immediately. Part of your job is helping to keep your team together and it will do no one any good if he stays in depression too long.
Be a friend. Say hello.
I'll keep you guys updated
I hope so! Nice thread.