Private life drama.. (page 2)

kls

Aww ,sorry Talesin and this to is so sad ,i am sorry.

Wow talesin- How are you doing now? It says alot about your character that you were such a good friend to visit them when they needed you the most. Hope your spirit is still high and that you are doing well.

Brummie- I'm sorry you're going through such a sad time. Hopefully you're not still shaken up from this and you're doing well now.

I went through a weird winter as well. The day before christmas eve, I heard the ambulance early in the morning. I looked out of my window and it was my neighbors house that they went to. She just had twins about 4 months prior to this. One of the twins didn't make it, she had a bad heart and had past away rather violently, gasping for air. I felt so bad for them, it was the saddest funeral seeing that little casket and still baby. She looked like a little snow princess doll. But later that same day, my sister called up crying, her father-in-law died when they were visiting over the house. He went outside to shovel snow and my niece thought he was playing jerking around on the garage floor. So she was laughing and went over to tickle her grandpa and he stopped moving. So she ran in the house and told her mom (my sister). It was really sad and came at such a bad time. My sister was going through legal proceedings with her ex and her new father-in-law was helping her out by paying for the whole thing. Now she'll have to come up with the money on her own. That same day, a neighbor came over to her father-in-laws house and said that his dad died that morning too. Weird that so many people died that day. I guess it comes in threes.

It's strange how it seems like when everyone else was doing great I was the one down on my luck. And now, I'm doing better and everyone else around me is having bad luck. Weird how it's like we're taking turns with the good and bad. Hopefully, things get better for you guys.

Brummie

OMG love11, things come so suddenly dont they! Someone said to me this evening "You have to look at these things constructively" I was like "yeah right" I cant work out the purpose for all of these things and the sadness they bring to so many people! I cant see a constructive side to any of them, maybe I'm being shallow.

Thanks peeps.

Brummie

The Leological One

It is sad isnt it, I'm just like gobsmacked. Anyhows, I have the knack of dissociating when things get overpowering, I learned it from the WT, it comes in handy.

Sorry that all happened. I can somewhat relate. When I was 15, I remember being at the funeral of my father in his house just 2 months after everyone, including him, was there for my grandmother's funeral, and then just a couple years before that my stepbrother killed himself with my father's gun, and then at 16 a really good friend I grew up with hung herself, then I saw my grandfather die in front of me about a year later, then saw my grandmother's gawking wide-open eyes in the hospital bed, dead apparently from choking to death. And then a good friend got killed (I feel somewhat sure) by two other people I knew and grew up with just another year later.

Sorry for the mini-rant; it's a little different, I know, but I think I can understand and wonder if you and some of your co-workers almost have that same "who's next" thinking like I had back then. It made me somewhat more calloused about some things, and I've felt some regret about it at times. I hope everything works out as best as possible for you, your co-workers, and all family involved.

talesin

love, what a time! I'm glad you're doing better. Oh, yes, I am okay with all that now.

Brummie,

I see no purpose in these things. My understanding of these things is that it's 'just life'. We all have tragic things happen to us. We also have JOYFUL things happen. Why try to explain the bad stuff, when we don't need a reason for the joy? Shit happens. End of story. It's how we deal with it that counts.

You are a very empathic person (I can tell), and as long as you learn to build protective walls for your emotions, learn how to turn off when you need to (and as you said, you dissociate well, so you may already have this skill) you will find a way to deal with tragedy and move on. The loving people hurt a bit more, but they also have more inside to fall back on when these things happen. It is the giving that helps us heal.

Here's a hug, just for you -----> {{{{{kitty}}}}}

t

Edit: Leo, I just read your post --- my gosh, you have been through the wringer as well!

See, haven't we all at one time or another? Life ...

The Leological One

Talesin,

I never want to go through a week like that again.
Rough winter, huh? But we are tough, we slog through, right? And you'll feel better soon.
t

That really was a brutally terrible week. Sorry all those things happened. It's really messed up how sometimes it just seems like it pours when those types of things are aweful enough in single events.

The Leological One

Edit: Leo, I just read your post --- my gosh, you have been through the wringer as well!
See, haven't we all at one time or another? Life ...

Talesin,

Yes; it is sometimes a major eye-opener to hear what others have experienced and how things can change so quickly in a lot of people's lives, and I've noticed at least one theme about people having depression that may not have seemed quite so bad and yet that seemed to lead to suicide. I just pray that people coming to this forum will share whenever they might be depressed, being open for some help.

Brummie

Leo! gee man, thats a lot you have had to contend with! Yes, there is an air of "whose next" at work today, I think these things bring everyones insecurities to the surface and then they go back down again, I dont think its callousness, I think its coping strategies.

Talesin, you summed it all up in a great way! I needed a different outlook tonight so I'm glad I started the thread, I was kinda feeling bad after I started this for bringing some heavy feelings on to people who have already had enough to contend with.

We also have JOYFUL things happen. Why try to explain the bad stuff, when we don't need a reason for the joy?

Good!!

I can dissociate in a proffesional way lol. It is my saving grace.

love11

Leo- Sorry to hear that you lost so many people at a young age. I think it's harder when you're young to take that great of a lose. By the way, how are you and your wife doing now? Hope things are well.

Brummie- I don't know if this helps but here's some more info on why things probably worked out this way:

My neighbor found out the twins had a heart problem when they were in the womb. Ususally, one of the twins dies and the mother doesn't even know she had twins until a small blob comes out with the healthy baby at birth. By the way that they were growing, if the one died in the womb the other one would have died with it. So by Bella waiting to die till out of the womb, it allowed Olivia to live.

T. is my sisters father-in-law. My sister and her new husband R. only dated for a month before they decided to get married. The whole family was upset about it. Then shortly after getting married she became pregnant. Everyone was upset about that. All except for T who was thrilled that R. was marrying my sister and that he was going to be a new grandpa. The thing is, if they did not rush into marriage and right away have children, then T. never would have seen his son get married and have children. Something that was his dream, to see his grandkids.

My sisters lawsuit- She went to court already and the judge said that the charges are ridiculous and sternly looked at her ex and "recommended" that he drop the charges because this matter is petty nit picking. So as far as she knows everything is ok now.

I guess it's all at how you look at things. Death is not the worst thing that could happen to people, just like birth is not the best thing. It's like tailsin said - it's life. I asked my Grandma what it's like to be 89 years old, she said terrible. I asked her- what do you do if you want to live a long time but you don't want to get old? She just laughed and said that I got her on that one. She's a great lady and never a jw. She just said that you have to appreciate the things you do have and not think at all about the things you don't have. She has to carry an oxygen tank around now but she says at least I'm still moving. She was wallpapering her bedroom last time I called. haha Anyways- my husband's going to cut me off of this forum if I don't stop ~~talking~~ writing. See ya later. Love

Brummie

Love11, there IS a greater picture isnt there! One day when I'm up to it, I'm gonna sit and reflect on what we learned here recently.

She has to carry an oxygen tank around now but she says at least I'm still moving.

aww, shes a great person, we can learn a lot from her. Outlook means everything.

Private life drama..

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