I couldn't figure out why I hated preaching to people so much and it made me feel guilty. I despised going out in service, it felt like such a waste of time. I was so horribly depressed when I was a JW that I'm surprised I didn't commit suicide when I was a teenager. I felt like I was a void when I was a JW. Looking back, I wonder how many people around me felt the same way.
when you were babtized and dedicated did you feel a void?
by swiftbreeze 26 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
joelbear
i was disappointed because i had prayed for months that if i dedicated myself that god would make me straight, but he didn't
-
Crumpet
((((((joelbear))))))! Would you pray to be straight now or are you happy being a rampant queer?
crumpet of the "gets it on with her girlfriends any chance she gets" class
-
diamondblue1974
Crumpet (OMG)
Your previous post took some balls to put on here (pardon the expression)...respect to you, heres the drink you needed.
My experience of my baptism pales into insignificance in comparison but i remember the void well; it was almost like an anti climax from all the build up and back slapping and love bombing which goes on previous to it. Personally I found the love bombing and backslapping a pretence as some were congratulating me when they hadnt even spoken to me previously at the meetings.
Events took over that evening however when i realised that the wife of a friend had died giving birth to her daughter...I was gutted. My baptism day wasnt particularly a happy one.
-
Crumpet
DB - thats terrible! You don't think that women die in childbirth in this day and age - not in the western world! How shocking - did the child survive?
(Thanks for the foaming pint - it was a bit stressy posting that, but I felt better afterwards. I can;t understand why my mother did not reach out to me and help me. I don't think she really knew me at all.)
-
diamondblue1974
DB - thats terrible! You don't think that women die in childbirth in this day and age - not in the western world! How shocking - did the child survive?
(Thanks for the foaming pint - it was a bit stressy posting that, but I felt better afterwards. I can;t understand why my mother did not reach out to me and help me. I don't think she really knew me at all.)
The little daughter did survive, but her mum haemorrhaged shortly after birth and they couldnt revive her, the doctors apparently said that even if she had have had a blood transfusion there was no guarantee it wouldve been able to clot quick enough....I dont remember much about it except the atmosphere in all honesty.Your welcome for the pint...yep i can imagine posting what you did was stressy hence why I thought you had balls sending it...
With regards to your mum it goes to show that not all parents are that maternal/paternal are they and they differ to various extents....lets hope we learn from THEIR mistakes.
DB
-
Lilycurly
I remember having tears in my eyes when I got asked the questions.(And these were not tears of joy) I was very intimidated by the elders, even though they were quite nice.
And when the "Big Day" came I felt sick to my stomach and barely heard what was said during to talk. I was shaking and feeling very unwell, i'm sure I must have been very pale. I was telling myself it was normal...but now I see it wasn't, at all.