Question for other Parents.... (page 3)

Your six year old is perfectly normal! Trust me! My brother had nothing to do with Children when he was a child until now. We always called him Papa he was like a old man. Deep thinker took his time at everything. He was always late to class in high school because he took his time at things. He is so funny.

It will get easier as he grows because he will have more things in common when the kids his age get to his level!

If he starts blowing things up, or sets the house on fire then worry. Right now you have a perfect little boy who is completely normal just not many out there like him. Be thankful he won't be doing certain childish things!

Brooke

rwagoner

thanks Brooke....the old man example is pretty funny because he does seem that way sometimes LOL

whyamihere

rwagoner,

Be very thankful because he will not get into trouble like the others!

Brooke

rwagoner

The only real trouble he gets into is this foolishness with the school. It is almost like they are looking for something to use to label him for some reason. He is a great kid, laughs all the time and is very sensitive about others feelings. I'm sure he will give us our share of challeges but he's still a good kid.

adelmaal

rwagoner

I don't know if the following book could help you but my son's good friend who is 7 years old was also a preemie. he was born at 25 weeks and is a healthy, handsome, likeable and smart kid. he is intelligent and does seem to have ADHD tendencies (very hiper/can't sit still and disrupts class, unable to concentrate for any amount of time on anything that does not interest him) and unlike your son he is overly aggressive (without realizing he is hurting other children). i'm not saying your son has ADHD but from what i've seen and heard, being a preemie can bring on it's own set of unique charactistics for a child. anyways, his mom read the book i've posted below and she said it has helped her allot to be able to work with him.

It's really hard not to know if your child is in need of help and if so what kind... We are currently going through some things with our daughter. She is overly social, talks too much in class and her mind wanders all over the place. She is very smart but tends to try to get by with as little effort as possible if it's something she's not particularly interested in. She's going through early puberty too so that may play into things. She's struggling not socially at school but academically and we are just not sure how to help her. It's such a balance to be struck between letting children be themselves and getting involved with trying to help them to grow into happy, healthy and social little people.

Hang in there Dad :) It sounds to me you and your wife are doing a good job parenting and you are being open minded as well (which some parents find it hard to do when it comes to their child).

Alisha

I said it in a previous post on another issue, and I feel it applies to this as well. I think today's society feels like it has its finger on the pulse of mental development. We have self professed psychologist thanks to "awareness" of all the "ism-s", "ologies," and thus we forget the "disorders." I think it's simply played out and over used. Not to down play real problems with development or sell short the abilities of a real pyschiatrist or psychologist, they are wonderful in their profession. However, we as parents seem to forget that kids will be KIDS. We put so much pressure on them to grow up faster than we did, and to fit them into the mold that society seems to think they should fit!

Your son is probably a healthy, normal child. Premies are special, but at his age, I don't think it would impact his "behavior issue" being addressed at hand. It honestly sounds like the schools in your area are just too quick to jump the gun and start throwing labels on children, which doesn't seem fair. YOU know your child better than anyone (as does your immediate family). YOU would recognize a potential problem. I would think that if a true problem were at hand, you'd see more than just "he doesn't socialize with other kids." There'd be strained realtionships with you/family, bad grades, irrational behavior (and that doesn't include sliding down the banister or racing laundry baskets down the stairs) or aggression. If you truly feel there might be a problem, YOU take him to have him tested. Get referrals from your pediatrician and let someone in the MEDICAL field help guide you to someone you can trust to test your child. Don't let the school make those sort of decisions for you. He is your child, and your responsibility. If they noticed a "problem" commend them on paying attention to notice such an issue. Then politely thank them and figure out for yourself if you think there's really a problem or not. He's YOUNG. He's learning a lot about who he is, what he likes, and learning how to interact. If he's been an only child this long (as my first son was), it might take some time for him to learn social skills...but it will happen when HE is ready, not when the chart says it should happen.

I know I sound like I am on a soap box, and I suppose I am to some degree. I just get so irritated of hearing so much dribble about kids' behavior. What ever happened to putting a tack in mom's chair to see if she will fly out of the seat and hit the ceiling like Tom and Jerry did? What happened to boys being made of "snail trails and puppy dog tails"? When did we take away popguns to play cowboys and indians? I believe stiffling a child's ability too much will cause a child to yearn and drift in thoughts when they grow a bit older. Let them be kids! There's time enough for them to grow up, learn to play nice, and earn that 6 digit salary and have stress. I just had a conversation with my cousin who was worried because her 6 month old's head measured in the 90 percentile on the growth chart. She cried that her child has a big head. Please. Come on. I told her she's a BABY! She'll grow to be just fine! She was a C Section baby and that's the normal range for her.

Let your son be a child. Maybe he has had a lot of adult exposure. Maybe take him to the back yard and make mud pies with him and the neighbor kid. Take him to the zoo. Find another child his age and spend some time all together? But whatever you do, don't make your child feel like there's something wrong. He's not living up to someone else's standard, is he living up to yours? It sure sounds like it!

Don't stress it, Daddy-O! You and Mom are doing great, and you sound proud of him, and you should be. Always remember to color outside the lines and think outside the box!

Best wishes,

Alisha

Xena

Sounds like he is an individual. Sometimes people forget how boring life would be if we were all the same.

on a side note thank goodness my daughter doesn't go to your school...who knows what they would think of the "happy bunny" shirts she wears.

BeautifulGarbage

I work at an elementary school, and some kids simply don't fit the "mold". That being, there ARE children that have serious emotional, and psychological, disorders and the parents simply will not/can't accept that their child needs help. These poor kids struggle with school work and peer relationships. I wouldn't be too hard on the school, they do mean well. Unless of course, they overstep their bounds.

Your boy, having been a premie is at a much high risk for attentional and emotional issues. If you want to have the question answered once and for all, I would recommend a comprehensive multi-disiplinary evaluation done either at a teaching university, or children's hospital. These facilities are generally up to date on the latest research and testing proceedures.

If there is a "problem" it's better to know now so that it can be addressed. If not, at least you can get the school off your back.

rwagoner

bttt

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