by Check_Your_Premises 44 Replies latest jw experiences
MJ,
Oh yeah, I forgot about your wife's blood transfusion... or lack thereof.
I had another question on another thread as well. I know my ideas won't apply to every situation, but I am trying to keep my fellow UBM's in the loop whenever something works for me.
Take care MJ
I figure they view me as stubbornly, stubbornly refusing to submit to the program. They have given up on me being an "easy mark". The ladies probably view me as an unsubmissive female intellectual or something worse. Elders don't see me. As a woman, I don't count anyways.
My hubby gets lots of "I missed your wife" at the meetings, but nobody calls me personally. Ever.
At the last assembly, the "good" JW's avoided me like the plague.
They love bombed the heck out of me at the assembly when my wife got dunked. One of them asked me how I felt, I told him "I don't think it matters (to anyone here) what I think."
I never got so many invites to peoples homes for dinner and whatever.
Some weenie told me, "You need to make up your mind. If you are puffed up like a peacock, you end up a feather duster." He was quoting from the talk during the assembly. Everyone acted like it was so funny during the talk. I guess when you are a jw, you don't want anyone to think you are not faithful to God's org, because you think their jokes suck. Those jw's sure are a laugh riot.
Anyway, everyone apologized to me for what he said, and assured me his attitude was an extremely rare exception.. That is not what I hear absolutely every Sunday! That is when I got the idea to run around asking them if they thought I was prideful. Put 'em on the spot.
Anyway, so then we went to dinner, and they were all falling all over themselves to give me money. I refused and caught the waiter and paid the check.
When someone gives you something, you owe them dontcha know.
great advice but about 22 years too late for me
We can't do anything about the past, only lament it, learn from it, and teach others about it.
Keep making them see you as a real live feeling person. Don't let them dehumanize you by their unbelieveing mate, or worldly mate nonsense. It is rude and demeaning to you. Good for you you question is outstanding. I think your going to do fine.
Balsam
Tell them that you enjoy a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He knows it and you know it. So... do they have anything better to offer you than what you already have.
My hubby gets lots of "I missed your wife" at the meetings, but nobody calls me personally. Ever.
Same for my husband. Almost without fail each time he returns from book study or TCM or Sunday meeting, he says "so and so says hello"...to which I say "Who??" Very few of them spoke with me when I did attend with my husband. Only a select few who might not have been afraid of me, a Wordly UBM as Check has so eloquently deemed us!
My husband thinks I am afraid of the answers I will find if I do my own "research" (study), as maybe I would be afraid and then have to give up my independent thinking. He says I just confuse him, because I can take the gold nuggets from the Bible but don't believe the entire thing literally.
I will try to ask this question of him and others, if I get the chance. There was a stretch where he and I were invited to his very good friends' house (Elder and his wife) very frequently for dinner and cards. Not anymore. Haven't heard form them in months. Then again I haven't invited them over either. My bad.......
Worldly Wife
Ummm... my experience may not fall into the category of the 'UBM'... as I was once a JW - and then just drifted away.
The wifey - she (and the daughter) were (and are) still JWs, and would go to the meetings, etc.
Anyway... one bit that I noticed - after a while, is that... due to their teachings - and their 'head of the house' bit... the wife (now 'ex'), tended to ignore anything that I said.
After all... I was an unbelieving mate. She felt that she was relieved of that obligation of 'submission' to me as the 'head of house' bit... or whatever they teach.
Rubbish - all of it. All I know is that she began to be quite rude and offensive in the final years of marriage.
One reason why she is 'ex' now. I just refused to put up with that - and I knew it wouldn't cease, as long as she is involved with that cult.
Regards,
Jim TX
It sounds like they have given up on you. I have found that if you want to get back in their good graces, you go to a meeting. Boy do they light up. Act interested again, or that maybe you are seeing things in a different way.
The big one is to start a study. That is big medecine for them. I stopped my study to punish them and my wife for going through on her baptism. They are love-bombing the heck out of me right now, because they are afraid they have chased me off with their inconsiderate and meddling ways.
Be the bait.
Hassan's book points out, one of the really nice things about cults is they are so very predictable.
