I challenge anyone to go volunteer in a nursing home for 2 weeks and then come back here and tell me your thoughts about the right to live and the right to die.
My good friend worked at one and told me all about it. I have worked in our local hospital as a student for a while. Although I didn't deal with terminal patients I understand what being locked up in a hospital can be like.
I think everyone should try volunteering to at least see what the REALITY of being in a nursing home is. Myself included. It's all fine and great to talk about it like an armchair quarterback, but let's get in there and volunteer. Maybe some of us will have a change of heart, maybe some of us will make a difference, maybe for some of us we will finally understand a world that we're not personally a part of.
Terri Schiavo petition on site
by missy04 67 Replies latest jw friends
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JustTickledPink
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doogie
BSoM-
Not one person except for Terri and her husband really know if their marriage was perfect. I'd like to honestly believe that yes, they had a great marriage. Everything points to it. But, that might not be the case.
while i do agree that we can't know for sure what their marriage was like, why do we need to? what business is it of ours?
I think as a parent it would be very difficult for me to allow my child to die. Regardless of it meaning the removal of a feeding tube or oxygen. I am looking at this from the perspective of parents who love their children unconditionally and choose to continue to have faith. Her wishes were not in writing, i think it is scary to take someone else's word on such a serious issue.
see, this is why i think that this has become the enormous issue that it has. people are putting themselves in this situation, don't agree with some aspect of it and then subsequently they feel trapped because they are powerless to effect the outcome. this is a personal issue that this family has to deal with. legally, her husband is terri's guardian and he has made his decision. some people disagree and that is fine but i personally would hate to think that a country of stangers is passing judgment on personal issues between me and my wife. i pity the husband that is judged by countless strangers based solely on hearsay. it is none of our business. why not assume her husband has HER best interests at heart. either way, we ARE assuming. -
jeanniebeanz
I challenge anyone to go volunteer in a nursing home for 2 weeks and then come back here and tell me your thoughts about the right to live and the right to die.
I've done this for years as has my daughter, and my opinion still stands. I have seen a lot of 'inconvenienced' unconcerned families who have closed the door emotionally on their elderly and handicapped family members, and seemed just irritated to have to deal with it. There were some who had genuine care for their elderly/handicapped, and those people seemed to fare the best.
I don't see a lot of physical suffering since every effort is made to keep them comfortable. The main suffering that I see is in the faces of those who looked toward the door as it opens in hopes of seeing a family member and the depression of having it be a guest for someone else. Maybe Terri can recognize her mum and maybe not. But it sure looks like she can. If she's not in pain, and has not had any physical therapy to see what she is capable of, why kill her?
J
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Doogie
You made some great points.
You are very right. People are putting themselves into the situation. I think that is natural however. Last year a little boy with autism got out of his house and wandered into the backyard of a neighbor with a pool and well, he drowned. Now this family got scrutinized so badly. Personal information came into the forefront that made it that much worse for them to deal with his tragic death. Naturally, people began to say the inevitable "If it were my kid..." Because that's how we as humans sympathize. Sometimes we overdo it and allow our emotions to go overboard and skew our sense of reason.
In this circumstance had Terri made a legal document stating her wishes, then no one, not one person should even try to contest it. On the other hand, I do see your point about her husband. I really do. If we are going to assume, why not assume in the husband's favor? Benefit of the doubt. Right. Seems reasonable. Well, I guess looking at how many marriages that I know of where the people stayed married for god know's what reason, if my husband were a jerk who everyone loved because they didn't know what he was really like, I wouldn't want him to be the one saying "yeah let her go" if I were in Terri's shoes. I know, there is plenty of evidence that shows that things were good between them. But as I said we just don't know. That's why, and I think just about everyone agrees, it is so so important to put our final wishes in writing. Not only to protect ourselves, but to protect the people we love from being put through hell for making a decision they should never have to make. As other's have said, this happens every day. It can happen to anyone at any time and any place.
So, that being said, if she isn't suffering, I personally don't see the harm in allowing her family to care for her. I do respect your viewpoint and in many ways I do agree. I would hate to see my husband dragged through the mud for trying to protect my rights. However, it would be my responsibility, not his to take the precautions to see that those rights are protected. Michael very likely loved his wife and a part of him died the day she fell into a coma. I don't personally know him. But unfortunately since there is no legal document, I do think the above things need to be taken into consideration.
I have to say I agree with the one poster who made the statement that there are much greater things happening. This is an important issue, of that I have no doubt. But wow, Terri is lucky to have so many people care about her so much to do all this. I can think of so many people that have died in Nursing homes without so much a phone call from their estranged family. In fact Tickled Pink made the point about nursing homes that I appreciated. Nursing homes are not fun places to live. I think what is so interesting about cases like Terri's is that they spur us into action to do things that we don't think to do. Whether it is to write a will or donate our time and energy to worthy causes like helping out at nursing homes or hospitals. I know one young man who being impaired with cp (fairly severe I might add) chooses to donate his time at a local hospital. I have seen him there going around doing what he has been asked, and wow, he is such an inspiration. I like to think there is always something we can learn.
I know I have so many arrangements to make and I have been dragging my feet. With a cognitively impaired child it's so important to have a will and a trust. Still haven't done it. But I know that to protect my kids it's something we gotta do. Well, to protect the people we love, we need to make those end of life decisions, before it's too late. We always think we have time. But you just never know.
p.s. hope you and your girlfriend have a long and happy relationship. :)
peace
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doogie
BSoM-
i hear ya and i agree that sympathy (empathy?) is definitely one of the more positive natural human tendencies.
p.s. hope you and your girlfriend have a long and happy relationship. :)
thanks. me too. although i'm kind of freaking her out with all this Living Will and Power of Atty crap. she thinks i know something she doesn't. -
BrendaCloutier
RWagoner said:
As to needing a ramp for your soap box.....I bought one of those $25,000 wheelchairs that climbs stairs..."I don need no stinkin ramps"
Damn! And I had the whole thing designed and engineered for you, your chair, and a caregiver or friend to join you! Maybe someone else will want the "plans".
((( Hugs )))
Bren
PS Wow! That chair sounds awesome! What technology.
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CoonDawg
If you honestly think that ANY of these politicians care a rat's ass about this girl or her family...I got some a bridge I can get you a great deal on. The name of the game for these republican politicians, no matter how the chips fall, is to set the stage for federal judge appointments. Frist said it on tape...and Delay stated that "one thing we do know is that God sent us Terri Schiavo...to bring this issue to the fore." They don't care beyond photo ops and where her situation can take them politically.
No matter how sad this situation is...and I can identify both as a husband and as a parent that this is horrible for all involved....the congress should have stayed out of it.
Also, the terrisfight website referred to early in this thread is a very biased site....catering to an agenda. Do I sympathize? sure...but it leaves alot out. Like after the settlement, Michael came away with about $300K and the rest after lawyers fees (around 750K) was put into a trust fund. Michael and Terri's parents brought Terri home from a hospital, but the parents were so overwhelmed that they returned her to a rehabilitation center. Their rift with Michael appears to have come only after Michael wouldn't cut them in on the $300K...he then, after more than 3 years of living with his inlaws, moved out.
I'm just saying there's two sides to every story. Don't be so quick to make this guy out to be such a villain. Last time I checked, here in the US, a person has to be charged with a crime...and even then, he's supposed to be innocent until PROVEN guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
Please, make provision for yourselves and your loved ones. My wife and I have been looking at living wills and durable powers of attorney because of this. My wife told me that if I ever let her exist as Terri is, she doesn't know how, but she'll find a way to make me regret it.
Ern
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Hm, while we're all thinkin' living wills and what not...
Can't you get a computer program that has that sort of thing? I seem to recall seeing something at Target or Office Depot that was about wills.
Doogie, I can never get sympathy and empathy straight, sorry. That's why I should actually Use my dictionary rather then look at it. : )
peace