Angst

by onacruse 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Do you feel it?

    I feel it, almost every day, and sometimes so intensely that it literally wakes me up in a cold sweat at 2 in the morning, just to toss and turn for the next 3 hours, like a pig on a spit.

    That damnably frustrating anguish about so many things: the "what ifs," the "could have beens, "the should I have...??"

    On the one hand, as an ex-JW, I can, and do, easily find a certain satisfaction in saying to myself "It was that god-damned religion in which I was raised."

    On the other hand, all of the "wordly" people I've known, and many of whom I still know, demonstrate the very same frustrations.

    Perhaps our struggles run a bit deeper? Perhaps we should accept more responsibility for our own actions on our own selves?

    Or, maybe it's just some utterly inevitable consequence of our evolution?

    Heck, who knows?

    Craigster (in a sorta-contemplative mood)

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Craig,

    I suggest you cook the crab before eating it!

    carmel

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    Craig, you just made me feel better. Now you know you're not alone.

    Putty

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    Dear Craig,

    I know the feelings.

    The problem is we have become imprisoned within our mind. We have forgotten there is an off switch, and it is our own thoughts which drive us insane.

    The solution is to take time just to sit and watch the mind, or do it while on a nice walk. Actually see how certain thoughts trigger emotions. See the thoughts. See and feel the emotions. Don't judge. Just see.

    When you really see, then, almost magically, there is now the power to choose to follow thoughts and go nuts, or not. Before you had no choice. But once you see, now you are back in the drivers seat.


    j

  • New Worldly Translation
    New Worldly Translation

    I think a lot of it is to do with your personality and how you were brought up. All my family are worriers and I'm a worrier and an angsty person too (maybe it's in the genes).

    I think of life like a chess match and am always trying to think numerous steps ahead to make sure I make the right decision. I'm always worried about the previous moves and if they were the right choice.

    I wish I could live life like snakes and ladders and just take my moves as they fall by chance. Sometimes your at the top of a ladder, sometimes your down a snake but not to worry cos you'll get to your goal eventually.

    Maybe I need a middle ground and should live my life like hungry, hungry hippos. I'm not sure how that works as a metaphor though.

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Carmel:

    I just got back from a job in Manzanita; all work, no play. Watched a couple of boats coming to port, thinking of those crabs! LOL Kate and I will see you soon.

    Putty:

    No, none of us are alone, as much as we might like to think we are. Which leads to:

    JamesT:

    We have forgotten there is an off switch, and it is our own thoughts which drive us insane.

    An "off" switch? Now there's a concept.

    Perhaps our lives should be so simple as to plant daffodil bulbs and bare-root roses, take the dog for a walk, enjoy a backyard warming fire, cuddle with our mates, pay our bills, and call it all good.

    For some reason, the "thoughts" still pervade, and invade, oftentimes uninvited and ill-timed.

    Perhaps a prefrontal lobotomy is advisable?

    NWT,

    Chess! Now you're talking my game. Controlling the "middle four," and yet always watching for the flank. Frustating as hell! LOL

    I think a lot of it is to do with your personality and how you were brought up.

    I still wonder about that; the ages-long "nurture vs. nature" debate. Are we are what we are because that is what we are, or are we are what we are because that is what we were made to be?

    I believe that angst is intrinsic.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Angst is a normal human condition, however we have a choice as to whether we allow it to consume us.

    There is a reason for the following, much-repeated "prayer":

    Lord,
    give me the strength to change the things I can change,
    the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    and the wisdom to know the difference.

    I think we all engage in ruminating over what-ifs and wishing for do-overs in varying degrees, that's just human nature to experience regrets over the road not taken, or anger over choices that were imposed on us by well-meaning adults. The thing is, if we allow these thoughts to paralyze us in the present, it prevents us from re-building in the present and for the future.

    We can't change things that have already happened, we can only learn from them. Some people find it helpful to have a "funeral" for their past - to bury or cremate their what-ifs and regrets symbolically, and create a new starting point for their lives. It gives you permission to grieve the life you didn't have but could have had "if only...." and provides a ritual for re-creating life according to your terms. Try it... you might like it.

    Hugs, Scully

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    Craig.........."fuhgetaboutid". There is a point in life where you will be more the 'recent' past' and 'near future'.........who are you today? any angst we feel, if we live long enough, will eventually be about the 'recent past'

    Like me..... right now my agnst is totally about if I left the iron on or not this morning.

    ~Hill (Forrest Gump Class)

  • Celia
    Celia
    I feel it, almost every day, and sometimes so intensely that it literally wakes me up in a cold sweat at 2 in the morning, just to toss and turn for the next 3 hours, like a pig on a spit.

    it's called menopause---cold and hot sweat--- it feels like you've been dropped in a tub of hot boiling water.... I know

    Seriously, I also have these panick attacks at night, thinking about death, old age, accidents....

  • Taylor S.
    Taylor S.

    Putty ...

    You live in Hawaii ... you shouldn't be allowed to be depressed.

    Let's switch ... you come to Jersey, and I'll do my best to bear Hawaii.

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