Another JW divorce!

by Goldminer 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • jillbedford
    jillbedford

    From personal experience, my witness husband and I divourced, due to adultery. We were married 11 years. The other woman was married too. I feel if we had 11 good years we could have worked out the infidelity. My reasons were based on lack of financial support. He never had a real job, just cleaning jobs like all witnesses have with their lack of education. I needed health insurance, 401k benefits, paid vacations days and sick days not only for my sake but also for the sake of my daughter.

    Both of us are inactive and can still attend meetings if we wanted to.

    My ex smokes now, so I guess he would get busted on those terms.

    We were both in our early thirties at the time of the divource.

  • AshtonCA
    AshtonCA
    The divorce rates in the Org must be the highest anywhere. Everyone that i grew up with
    in the hall is divorced. Every friend i had that is still a witness is divorced, except for one
    couple. Its so sad, i attribute that to being forced to marry someone who is a witness
    rather than marrying them because you are in love.
    Luckily i married a "worldly" man and we are as happy as can be. Now going on 5 years
    strong.

    Same here, I married the guy I got DF'd over and we are going on 13 years this September. We have our moments, but I swear I love him more everyday. I often think of the guys I left behind when I chose to mess around with him instead. My brother told me that there were several guys in the cong. who wanted to date me, but I never knew it cuz they were too shy to ask me out. They were all about 5 years younger than I was anyway, but hey it did feel kinda neat to know I was liked lol. I thought I wasn't so I went and found my own hah.

    Ash

  • Fe2O3Girl
    Fe2O3Girl

    I was going to meetings and out in field service regularly up until the day that I left my husband. I was DF'd without meeting the elders.

    The pressure to put on the front of being a happy "spiritual" couple is intense. There simply isn't the option of taking time out, admitting there is a problem, and seeking professional help. The whole thing simmers away, hidden, until the situation explodes.

    Such a shame.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    the cong. i was in had probably a 75% divorce rate.. and some that werent divorced slept in seperate bedrooms... dumping the " wife of your youth" for young sister hotpants , getting df'd for a few months then coming back and reclaiming your position as super dub was very popular.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    As much as I love him, I often think about having a heart-to-heart talk with him about my misery pretending to hold on to a religion that I no longer love or respect. I feel like proposing to him an amicable divorce.

    As much as it will hurt at the beginning, I think it's ultimately the best for us both. I mean, he has so many dreams of advancement within the WTBTS, while I have so many dreams of leaving it behind. With a wife like me he'll never make it further than passing the microphones at the meetings.

    I just feel so bad for him. But, other than in the religious stuff, we get along beautifully and I know we love each other, but he happens to love the WTBTS more.

    What a hell of a dilema!

    DY

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    I feel for you Doubtful.

    Know those feelings very well. Hung on and hung on. Tried to be a good husband and keep things together.

    Seemed to be working and then after about 21 yrs. she just exploded and the hatred was palpable. All of a sudden I could do nothing right. I struggeled with it another 2 yrs. then it was all done for me.

    She got a divorce and is still an angry confused jw. I got the shaft and I am the healthy happy one.

    Go figure.

    Outoftheorg

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I've thought about moving, but I love my present job and the people at work, and actually I've gotten to love this area where I live and my house, etc.

    I'm at a great loss where I stand. Yes, my case is worthy of pity.

    DY

  • FairMind
    FairMind

    My youngest daughter (a baptized JW) recently married for the third time and in a KH. Both of her previous JW husbands were duds but then again she has been no angel. Young marriages are always at risk and I suppose JW marriages are no exceptions.

    FairMind

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    DY ... you show a big sad face when you say hubby loves the WTS more than you.

    Next thing you are saying how much you like your job, friends, house etc, so that makes it hard to broach the subject of divorce to him.

    Who exactly has their priorities straight. Were you a Witness when you married him? Then you knew what to expect.

    After a bit of thought ... maybe you would do him a favor by honestly facing your issues with him instead of living a lie.

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    I know how it feels Doubtful, the emotions are plentiful, the self questions flow out like lava.

    For me, it was best to try to save the marriage for the sake of the children and my own self respect.

    I took my marriage vows sincerely and wanted to do what I thought was right.

    In the end it was useless and the marriage ended to the detriment of us all.

    However I could hold my head high, because I really tried and did not want the marriage to end.

    My now ex wife filed for divorce and was urged on by the local elders and the teachings of the wbts.

    I don't know how they can sleep at night, without dreams of punishment. They are their own worst enemy.

    My moto is, do nothing I will later feel shame over but protect myself and those around me. My ex wife would not let me protect her any longer.

    Now she is alone, sick, frustrated and angry at everyone and seldom gets any sympathy from the jw's and elders. Something she craves for, sympathy.

    For the sake of your family, hubby and you, I suggest you try your best and hang in there as long as is possible. so no one including you, can say you didn't try.

    Outoftheorg

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