Leading double life

by JustTickledPink 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  Hi cindycp & all?.very interesting thread!

  I cant say that I dont believe that most of its the truth, I have only a handfull of arguments.

  Don?t be surprised if your view on this changes with time. When I left (faded), I believed it was all ?the truth?, I just believed J?s people on earth had taken a very wrong turn and didn?t want to be associated with them even if it meant me dying. ?didn?t want to live forever or any length of time with people like that! Gradually over the years (18 and counting), I have come to realize it isn?t the truth.

  I also have a grandpa, in his 90's. I'm afraid I wont be able to go to his funeral. I guess I still could, but no-one would talk to me. I dont know, are you allowed to do that?

  Legally? Probably. Normally in the US, places are worship are considered public, and you are not prohibited from entering unless there?s a really good reason. Also, I believe legally, if his obituary was published in the newspaper and mentioned the services were public, you?d again have the right to enter.

  you make it sound like you are being disciplined for past behavior. But, realistically it is for your present lifestyle ..

  Yeah, that?s supposed to be how it goes, but we all know DFing is often done punitively rather than for correction. Quote from the elder?s handbook: ?If the wrongdoer is guilty of gross sin but gives evidence of godly repentance, even as recently as at the hearing, the judicial reproof given by the committee may suffice; disfellowshipping may not be necessary. (2 Tim. 4:1, 2; Titus 1:9; w83 1/1 pp. 30-1)?

  Cindy, why not just lie about running off and getting married in Vegas or something. As far as I know no one has ever requested a copy of a marriage certificate.

  Or you could create one on your computer. Just got married there myself. I could show you what it looks like so you can make one yourself.
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  rebel8

  Your DF does not take effect until it's announced to the congregation. It is not set in stone until it's been announced.
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  a friend in need

  cindy ... rebel8 is right. If you really don't want to get df'd, at least give it one last try. The worst thing they can say is 'no'. check your pm please.
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  cindykp

  The committee meeting is like a court hearing!!!!!!!!!! You have 7 day's to "appeal" their disicion. Does the committee have a right to change their minds, or do you actually have to go in front of another body of elders?
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  rebel8

  cindycp, I don't think I explained myself very well in my last post. What I meant to say is this. Yes, you have only 7 days to appeal the jc's decision. That is spelled out in the elder's handbook. Opportunity missed.

  However, if your DFing has not been announced to the cong yet, it is not yet effective. This is also in the elder's handbook. Your option at this point is to 'repent' now, therefore nullifying any 'scriptural basis' for DFing. That might work. You would have to show "genuine repentance", which means you must demonstrate 1) you've ceased the 'wrongdoing' and 2) you feel genuinely sorry for what you've done.

  DFing is [again according to the elder's handbook] for unrepentant people only. If repentant, there is no basis for DF...public or private reproof only, not DF. No one in the organization has the authority to DF you for past wrongdoings just to punish you for them, if you are repentant.

  This is not to say they will abide by their own rules. I'm just explaining what they're supposed to do, according to what I've read. Maybe some of the ex-Elders on this board can verify this is possible. I'm not DFd and was never an Elder (just a lowly sow woman, you know).

  I hope that helps.