Parents ripped apart by religious interpretation

by Ianone 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Ianone

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  CITY & REGION Parents ripped apart by religious interpretation John Gradon Calgary Herald February 26, 2005 1 | 2 | NEXT >> CREDIT: Jenelle Schneider, Calgary Herald Arliss Hughes leaves court Friday past pickets demonstrating against her Jehovah's Witnesses faith, which they blame for her daughter's death. More Columns By This Writer :: Loss unites Trudeau, city mother :: Tension thick at Quinn hearing :: Finding missing son would make family's day :: When a parent's worst fears become sad reality :: City transit passes take trip down memory lane :: City transit passes take trip down memory lane :: Back Door opens up new life :: Inevitability greets cattle barons' victory :: Stampede's archivist loves living in the past :: Princess takes pleasure in rugby and poetry They sit in court, and separated by an aisle that might as well be as wide as a mile, exhibit stark evidence of a house forever divided. It is not unusual for families ripped apart by circumstances or events or a combination of both to end up in either a criminal or civil courtroom setting. When it does happen, there can be much at play, but the deep-seated problems involved would most often and most likely be rooted in such causes as abuse, for instance, or alcohol, drugs, neglect, assault, or even homicide. But seldom does it occur in the name of God . . . or rather, as on this occasion, the consequence of diametrically opposing interpretations of His word and His teachings. Oh yes, sadly, there is a death involved here. It is that of 17-year-old Bethany Hughes who died of leukemia in highly controversial circumstances Sept. 5, 2002. The teenager passed away less than six months after she underwent a series of blood transfusions, allegedly against her wishes, when Alberta Children's Services assumed custody of her after she refused conventional treatment for the disease. Various court hearings have heard that Bethany, a devout believer in the Jehovah's Witness faith and in the Watch Tower Society, fought the transfusion process to such an extent that she had been known to rip medical tubes from her arms in Calgary's Alberta's Children's Hospital. When she contracted the cancer, her father Lawrence Hughes left the Witnesses and proceeded to battle to allow her to receive the transfusion he was convinced that, if applied early enough, might save his daughter's life. On the other hand Bethany's mother, Arliss Hughes, backed by her religion and senior proponents of it, wanted the procedures terminated in accordance with their faith's belief that blood transfusions are inherently wrong and unacceptable. In the wake of Bethany's death, the courtroom has become a family battleground with Lawrence Hughes -- he has been granted the role of overseer of his daughter's estate -- attempting to launch a $1-million wrongful death lawsuit against the church, Arliss Hughes, and doctors for allowing or persuading his daughter to refuse the transfusions. In Court of Queen's Bench Friday, Justice Ged Hawco ruled that Lawrence Hughes' status as estate overseer should stand and that therefore he should be allowed to proceed with his case -- although the judge did emphasize the fact that "Whether the claim is legitimate or not is a decision to be made by this court on another day." And so, for now, the impending lawsuit will stand. Afterwards, the bitterness, the agony, and all the torment involved in addition to the natural and shared grief at the awful loss of a child is captured in the words of the respective and now estranged parents. Somewhat mildly and perhaps in understatement, Arliss Hughes begins by saying: "I am a little disappointed with today's procedural decision. "Not a day passes without me thinking of my wonderful daughter Bethany. Her exuberance, thoughtfulness, and maturity brought much joy to our family, her friends and schoolmates." << PREVIOUS | 1 | 2 More Columns By This Writer :: Loss unites Trudeau, city mother :: Tension thick at Quinn hearing :: Finding missing son would make family's day :: When a parent's worst fears become sad reality :: City transit passes take trip down memory lane :: City transit passes take trip down memory lane :: Back Door opens up new life :: Inevitability greets cattle barons' victory :: Stampede's archivist loves living in the past :: Princess takes pleasure in rugby and poetry ...Continued She says: "It is unfortunate Mr. Hughes still cannot come to grips with the reality that Bethany's tragic death was due to her terminal leukemia . . . it is offensive and deeply disturbing for Mr. Hughes to now blame Bethany's death on me, Bethany's friends, her doctors, the hospital in Edmonton (where Bethany ultimately died) and our faith." Meanwhile, Lawrence Hughes is pleased at this day's procedural victory. Then, with scarcely concealed passion and intent, he vows: "I will now continue this fight, for Bethany's sake, until there is no breath left in my body . . . or until my two other daughters are safely out of harm's way." He swears Bethany was in no condition to make wise decisions about her treatment herself . . . saying that the Watchtower Society had "pressured and brainwashed her" against accepting the blood transfusions. "I would have gone to hell and back for Bethany, and I did. I would go to hell and back for my other daughters, and, if I have to, I will." He says his victory means he can bring forth more evidence about the crucial treatment decisions made in Bethany's case, her final days, and expose the fact that his daughter did not really accept she must not have transfusions. "And hopefully when that happens it will be Bethany's first opportunity to tell her story in a sense . . . for people to hear her speak through that evidence." For Bethany, the pain is blessedly over. But as this complex, grave and emotive case now moves forward into new chapters, it is obvious that the pain and acrimony of the divided family she left behind will not only endure but intensify. [email protected]
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  sf

  Respectfully, when you make separate threads of the same topic, great comments and supportive posts get lost.

  Please keep this topic in one thread. Just my opinion.

  sKally
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  Mary

  While I feel really sorry for the father, I don't understand why he's suing the Borg on this one. From what I can see, his daughter received several blood transfusions and she still died........am I missing something here?
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  jgnat

  It was awful, Mary. The girl remained under protective custody with the government only until her leukemia was considered terminal. Then her status was changed to "mature minor". A "mature minor" can chose their own treatment. Bethany, with the support of her mother and entourage, chose to go to an undisclosed location (undisclosed to her father) and undergo alternative bloodless treatments.

  It turned out the undisclosed location was Edmonton, Alberta, only three hours away from Bethany's estranged father. He was not told where she was until she was hours from death. He rushed up from Calgary, but he was unable to be at her side when she died. Similarly, he was shunned at the funeral.

  Lawrence Hughes is a man inconsolable, robbed of his daughter, robbed of the opportunity to properly grieve.
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  MungoBaobab

  What a sick, selfish man. He is the one that robbed his daughter of her dignity. Robbed her of a peaceful death. Violated her body with a medical treatment she didn't want. Shame on him. I understand the emotional circumstances were high. Maybe he thought he could bite the spiritual bullet by incuring God's wrath on himself, meanwhile sparing his daughter's life now and into the New System. Maybe he had doubts for years and in this crisis he refused to let his daughter die for something he knew to be false. But she was old enough to make up her own mind, and the fact that Bethany fought every step of the way up to and including tearing the tubes from her arms speaks volumes for her courage and devotion. Hughes thought his daughter's religion was robbing her of her life. Instead, he robbed her of her death.
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  catchthis

  He says his victory means he can bring forth more evidence about the crucial treatment decisions made in Bethany's case, her final days, and expose the fact that his daughter did not really accept she must not have transfusions.

  This is news to me. I hadn't heard about this "fact" before now. If he can prove this point, then what about the whole deal of Bethany becoming a "mature minor?" I thought Bethany wanted this status -- or was it coached upon her by the HLC and her mother?

  If Lawrence can prove beyond a doubt that Bethany was willing to undergo the transfusions, then ALL of the defendants in this case are in deep doo-doo.

  Mungo ----

  Robbed her of a peaceful death?? How about a father trying to do what is in the best interests of his daughter, namely, TO KEEP HER ALIVE. For any parent to simply give up on pertinent healthcare for their child due to an extremely hazy doctrine which cannot be defended by any witness, is utterly ridiculous. If the blood doctrine(as interpreted by the governing body) is not defendable, then why abide by it as if it were formulated by God himself? Everyone, except Bethany's father, simply followed some old men's ideas that have evolved over time to keep pace with governments across the world. It's all about appearances, not biblical instructions.
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  avishai

  What a sick, selfish man.

  Uhh, What a judgemental, self-righteous a-hole your being, mungo. You were'nt there. Were you?
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  jeanniebeanz

  What a sick, selfish man.

  You cannot possibly understand what this poor man is going through. What an extremely judgemental thing to say.

  J
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  observador

  ...the fact that Bethany fought every step of the way up to and including tearing the tubes from her arms speaks volumes for her courage and devotion.

  More unthougthful and untrue words have never been said!

  She tearing the tubes from her arms speaks volumes of how BRAINWASHED she was by her mother and her destructive, death loving cult.

  Observador.
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  jgnat

  The article was not factual about the tubes being torn out. Bethany didn't do that, her mother did. Up until that point, Bethany was willing to undergo transfusions, as a "conscientious objector". Her mother convinced her that blood transfusions were akin to "spiritual rape".

  Also, the dad did not order the transfusions, the government as guardian did.

  Mungobaobob, you do not have enough information to make such a judgement.