BSOs on the Daniel book

by IP_SEC 36 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  ithinkisee

  Yes, sometimes I feel like people can see right through me. . . they can sense my disdain for the paragraph we are going over. It's probably all in my head though.

  I really don't want to have to conduct for the Daniel Study. Since I am just a fill-in usually (I'm not the Book Study overseer or the assistant), the times should be few and far between.

  Interestingly, our Circuit Overseers visit had some information - he said at the most recent CO School they emphasized telling the conductors of book studys and even the WT Conductor, to not ask too many secondary questions. I guess the WTS doesn't want anyone questioning too many things. . .just read the paragraphs, ask the printed questions, and move on.

  Perfect timing for the Daniel book I say. . . .coincidence?

  -ithinkisee
• 

  ithinkisee

  Truly what would make a man stoop to such dishonesty? Desire to be admired?

  I do not want to be a conductor. I came to this congregation with a good letter as a Ministerial Servant, but they put a moratorium on appointments the year I had moved over to this congregation. By the time it came around to re-recommend people I had fallen out of favor for a couple of trivial misunderstandings. They were cool about it and said they would wait til the next time around, but I said "no thanks". I made up a story that I needed to focus on my family (wife and two kids) and my personal spirituality.

  Meanwhile, it's true I am focusing on my family - but little do they know that instead I am focusing on trying to help my wife see the falsehoods in the organization subtley, by just asking questions. I am focusing on extracting them from the org (crossing my fingers). Her sister is having problems as a senior in high school, but thankfully her sister was never baptized. My wife is secretly happy about that but she feels guilty for feeling happy about it. (You may have read my other thread about this)

  So I'm not a MS or Elder, but I serve in that capacity when needed. Honestly, if I were to ask to "not be asked" to conduct, red flags would go up like crazy.

  I'm not prepared for those flags yet.

  -ithinkisee
• 

  IP_SEC

  Truly what would make a man stoop to such dishonesty? Desire to be admired?

  :) Hey pete, you have obviously never been to my bookstudy. If you had you'd see that my lame @ss conducting skills betray no desire to be admired.

  I know my situation, and for me to give up the BS right now would cause me to be forced in to confronting the other men with my problem. Which would end up in my being removed from the congo and shunned by nearly everyone I know, probably including my own wife as well.

  Cowardly? Maybe. Desire to be admired? Most certainly not.

  IPSec :)
• 

  willyloman

  Cowardly? Maybe.

  IpSec is no coward. It takes courage to come here and bare your soul. We are all on a journey, some at one point along the way, others at another. The important thing is the journey. The WT is a cult. Cults are hard to break away from. They hold your family and loved ones hostage. If they could, they'd burn down your house and kill them all.

  This isn't easy.
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  ithinkisee

  Amen to that IP_SEC.

  -ithinkisee
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  peacefulpete

  I don't want to be misunderstood as caloused. I have been where you are. Let it go. For your emotional well being be honest but kind. My wife was confused and scared of course but secretly respected me enough to know that I must have had good reason for my decision. Things were not smooth but we never argued or fought, I never expressed haterd for the WT. We were not happy itn is true and in fact divorce seemed the best thing. We actually were 2 months from divorce when she approached and asked to know what was going on. Kindness honesty and respect will go much furthur than being two faced and hypocritical. She sees whats going on don't kid yourself. JWs are trained to watch for wolves in sheeps covering, when you are eventually discovered will that be how they remember you?
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  doinmypart

  Unfortunately I'll have to conduct the study in the Daniel book. Like IP_SEC, I'm not desirous of admiration, I'm just in a situation where my wife is a true believer and at this point I can't rock the boat anymore than I have recently.

  Hang in there IP.

  As Wilyloman mentioned I used to try to subtly bring about change within my congregation, but only ended up exhausted & frustrated.

  Hopefully this 2nd consideration of the Daniel book will result in lower book study attendance.
• 

  euripides

  I know my situation, and for me to give up the BS right now would cause me to be forced in to confronting the other men with my problem. Which would end up in my being removed from the congo and shunned by nearly everyone I know, probably including my own wife as well.

  But IPSec, Jehovah knows.

  Seriously, I (and countless others like me) know what its like. There will come a day when you can no longer lead a double life of the mind. I don't think it's cowardly either, you're just holding on to the only thing you've known. But, when that happens, when you dare to be free, of course its painful, but it may be the only way to grow as an individual. Then again, many I know I'm sure traded in their freedom of thought for a "lead role in the cage."

  God bless you, IPSec, you must be going through sheer hell.

  Euripides
• 

  IP_SEC

  going through sheer hell.

  Yep, just had kind of an unpleasant conversation with my wife, she keeps bringing it up but then wont listen. I really cant blame her, she is a little upset because she's in the position of feeling like she must tell the other elders, but she's not doing it and it bothers her conscience. She wants me to recant and just go back to the way it was...

  I dont think its gonna last too much longer. Crap man I dunno.
• 

  FreedomFrog

  IP...I don't know if anyone has already suggest this. But I'm reading a book called "Approaching Jehovah's Witnesses in Love" by Wilbur Lingle (How to Witness Effectively Without Arguing). It's been very helpful. I've used some of the techniques on my parents and I see their minds spinning.

  I understand somewhat of your situation from you posts and from what AA has told me and so I'm not sure if you want to take that chance owning the book. But (from what AA told me) it might help you help your wife.

  I feel so bad for you. I'm trying not to get DF'd myself long enough to at least plant a nice strong seed in my family. And it's hard because I HATE lying. But I can't imagine going through what you have to go through.

  btw-it's hard to get this book so you may have to order it from a popular book store (such as B&N). I can also pass the book on to you once I'm finished with it.