Are you Living or Existing?

Golf

Does your life have a purpose or are you just existing? For me, I was existing until I made everything I do have a purpose, be it good or bad. Over the years I've learned to extract the good out of bad situations and it has given me a different perspective on life. Life is all about learning. You don't have to be rich or influential to learn.

One of the things I've come to learn is not to expect anything from anybody and this way you don't get disappointed. I've come to be independent at an early age. My top priority is minding my own business. This gives me great satisfaction and contentment, plus, I'm FREE of all kinds of needless headaches. This doesn't mean I don't care about people, I do. I believe people are responsible for their own lives. I have six grown children and I stay out of their personal lives and we get along just fine! What a great feeling! I make sure I hug my grandchildren and I tell them, 'I love you.' That in itself is worth living for. I go to bed at night with a warm feeling.

Yes, life has challenges, remember, life like roses, has thorns. What about you? Care to share any interesting and helpful experiences?

Guest77

squinks

Golf,

Interesting question, do I live or exist? Sometimes a little of each. I have four grown children and two grown stepchildren, also four step-grandchildren. I believe that I have come to many of the same conclusions you have but sometimes I wonder if I am a little disconnected from things. I think I am afraid to make deep friendships. I had to learn to do without them and now it seems like so much work to make and keep meaningful friendships for what you get out of it, namely an opportunity to be rejected.

Squinks

Been there

I just exist. I have always wanted to live but still just end up existing.

MAHABA

One of the things I've come to learn is not to expect anything from anybody and this way you don't get disappointed.

And in not expecting anything from anybody, That is to say, in giving, only giving, (of our attention, warmth, love, money???) we are tremendously pay pack, rewarded by the slightest mark of appreciation or concern.

Ivan

squinks

Well, Been,

I appreciate your honesty and I so often feel the same way. Not always but often. I wish I could get the optimism of childhood back. You know the kind where you couldn't wait to go out to play because wonderful adventures awaited you every day.

prophecor

MOUNTAINS As the days they multiply Some simple some sublime
Easy is it to understand
In life you need a helping hand A shoulder to lean on
An ocassional smile
Sometimes it's all it takes
To cure the pain
That caused your heart to ache Is anyone ever sure?
All our roads when we'd unwind
It's exciting once you find Sometimes

The only good reason to carry to carry on Moutains moved in weakness makes us strong All the battles that we face In victory or disgrace
Continues confidence
Courage to call The Master to help pick us up where we fall Amidst lifes illusions
Forever faced with what we fear
Confidence gives when once you know the score
Most battles lost can still win you the war I hope that you come to find
Though intricate and complex is man
Still no more than grains of sand
Forget all the reasons
The makeshift plans But answer in truth sought
Buried deep in haunted hearts
As you wonder where went time?
In the back of your mind Concern soon can turn to confusion
If perspectives we confine
To our own limited mind
Mistakes magnify seeing right when wrong But mountains moved in weakness makes us strong

__________________________________________________

Golf

Squinks, your comment, "I think I am afraid to make deep friendships" is so true among the witnesses. How many have experienced so-called friendship/s and then when you slip and fall short of the glory of God, they cast you away? My wife is my true friend. I have many acquaintances.

The org. has deprived children to be children. Your only a child once and you should have that 'right' to be a child! This is an area I find the Org. very guilty.

You say rejection? Hmmmmmm, that's a given in just about anything. One of the ways to overcome this is, don't expect miracles from others, respect, yes. I believe that their is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving. The practice of giving helps in coping with rejection.

'Been there,' what do you think you can do to live a purposeful life? Do you have dreams? Do you have goals? One of my repeatitive lines to my children was, JUST DO IT! Either we push ourselves or others will. As I said, life like roses has thorns. Learning to avoid being 'pricked' keeps us on our toes.

Guest77

gumby

Hi Golf....and top of the morning to you!

First, I'd like to compliment you for always being positive and looking on the bright side of things....that takes work for many.

I guess some of your points depend on your situation in life ( though not a always as some make the best of ANY situation...but most do not.

For me, I have no grandkids that I can have a life with. My wife is a diehard dub and so there is that riff. My family are all dubs except for two sisters. How would you suggest I develop the mindset from existing .....to living? Anything close will suffice

Have a great day bud...and keep up the good attitude

Gumby

kitties_and_horses_oh_my!

Squinks, your comment, "I think I am afraid to make deep friendships" is so true among the witnesses. How many have experienced so-called friendship/s and then when you slip and fall short of the glory of God, they cast you away?
....The org. has deprived children to be children. Your only a child once and you should have that 'right' to be a child! This is an area I find the Org. very guilty.

Golf,

I've thought similar things fairly often of late. I was having a bad night last night and trying to explain this exact thing to my husband, and the thing is that as a witness you almost lose the ability to connect. It's not so much a conscious decision. I have great friends but, at the same time, I do keep a distance that if they walked away tomorrow and never looked back, I'd be okay, probably think "hmm, okay, thats odd" but I'd be fine. And it's not about not being open or perhaps even trying to establish a connection; you just have just shut down at some point and like I said, it's not a conscious decision. I think it might sound harsh that people who I share my life with, dear friends, that I just can't feel emotion towards them - respect, admiration, desire for their happiness, worry for them, those things yes - but that actual point where it crosses the threshold of needing them, it just doesn't happen. My husband says that if I don't learn how - insert poetic waxing here about giving up fear and living despite being vulnerable etc etc - I will never feel whole.

But really, how would you choose to "make a deep friendship" as the quote says above? And I just don't think it's about sharing activities or stories about your past or even about what you think might be nice for the future. I do all those things, pretty open, but the actual caring just is like a switch that has been turned off. It's cliche I suppose to say "well my parents don't love me and my witness friends don't talk to me" blah blah blah, we can all commiserate about how much we've been hurt, but I've never had all of that get me anywhere - not that I don't revert to it on occasion.

So hmm, what makes a deep friendship come into being? And if it does, how do you stop yourself from destroying it? You know, the inevitable "this is going to end badly so I will just end it now b/c the waiting is almost worse."

Back to the original "living or existing" question - it varies for me. I think it does for everyone.

- Kitties

ballistic

I find it strange... you describe quite a controlled life and describe it as living, not existing. I find when I am in least control I am really living.

Are you Living or Existing?

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