I debated with my "devout" JW mom and her JW elders for 5 hours

by booker-t 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • JT
    JT

    I hate to rain on your parade, but i will be blunt because i see so many folks like you all the time-

    your intentions were good and for that i commend you, problem was you didn't understand what you were about to do and for that reason you got beaten almost to death

    i truly wish you had come to the net to inquire would it be wise to do what you did, and you would have found that many of us would have recommended that you not engage in this type of debating, in my personal exp and in the exp of so many others it IT POINTLESS

    to get a jw along with an elder and think that you are going to make a "point" is fool hearted in my opinion.

    one of the first things many of us have come to realize is that unless the person themselves has issues of concern about the org and its dirction, it is a waste of time to debate with a dyed in the wool jw unlesss you don't mind the emotional drain you will be left with

    it that doesn't bother you then go for it, but i believe in saving yourself a lot of emotional pain by avoiding such debates

    living your life well is the best thing you can do-

    here is a site i highly recommend that you read, for it shows that belief system by thier very nature cause persons not to accept:

    FACTS-- PROOFS-- DOCUMENTATION, EVIDENCE, TO A beleiver those things mean nothing

    this is why i tell folks all the time EDUCATE YOURSELF ON how HIgh Control Groups impact folks , by doing that it will help you to at least better understand why it is so difficult for such persons to listen and agree with you

    do me a favor, please read this article along with the accompanying thread

    Bad beliefs

    http://www.csicop.org/si/2000-11/beliefs.html

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=7798&site=3#230204

    just my 2

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    All I gotta ask is:

    WHY BOTHER?

    I know I know I know....family...blah hlah blah.. marriage.. blah blah blah...

    kill me

    CG

  • JT
    JT

    Gary says:

    "I say there is never a good time to talk about Witnesses or religion to a believing Witness. I see nothing to be gained if it means risking rapport, even if that is fragile rapport."

    "I expose the totalistic individual to information that shows they are wrong, they see that as an attack and they retaliate"

    "My best success is living a happy life"

    words have never been spoken that are more true - great words of wisdom from GARY --someone who has

    BEEN THERE,DONE THAT AND BOUGHT THE DAMN TEE SHIRT- SMILE

  • JT
    JT

    this is in my view why the Net "THANG" is so powerful, it can help us avoid alot of the additional emotional baggage that we ourselves add upon ourselves on the way out of wt. simply by not knowing how to deal with those we love who are still in

    if anything has happened her mom has become EVEN MORE ENTRENCHED into the grips of wt, so by our lack of knowledge we can actually unwittly be pushing them further into the world of wt,

    this is why education of High Control groups are so vital before we start to say anything

    i beg all you lurkers and those considering "I will show them elders up" mindset to think long and hard

    i have had too many folks sit in my living room here in dc crying only wishiing they had HANDLED IT DIFFERERNTLY- there are more than one way to skin a cat folks and I KEEP TELLING FORKS as a general rule DIRECT CONFRONTATION DON'T WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    if anything it plays right into the hands of what the wt has been teaching jw for years about those who leave

    THINK PEOPLE THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    DO WE not tell a bible student that their family and friends may not approve of the things they are learning from the bible and sure enough the minute they tell a co worker or family member "hey i'm taking bible study from the jw"

    the persons respond I WOULDN'T IF I WERE YOU!!!!!

    AND IN THE mind of the bible student they say, Man i can't beleive that, THE FIRST BIBLE PROPHECY COMING TRUE JUST LIKE THE JW LADY TOLD ME IT WOULD, they will hate you for studing the bible and learning new things, didn't i just learn that god has a name from the jw-

    so jw are PREPARE AND READY FOR ANYONE WHO CHALLENGES THIER BELIEF SYSTEM

    damn what do you think all those Freaking meetings were designed to do????????????????? smile

    but here is they type of advice listed below that would have been given PRIOR TO THIS PERSON Subjecting themselves to literally emotional hell:

    A POSTER STATES:

    ?For me, I could see very early on that any debate with a JW that uses the Bible or their literature usually fails?

    ?As long as they deny being unhappy, then why bother? I agree with

    !!!

    Once again words of wisdom from someone who has been there

    More good advice below:

    ?You are in a no win situation when you allow this to happen and I see in fact the conclusion was reached you are a poztate.

    I feel sorry for your situation but nothing will change except "mom" will be encouraged by the elders to take a harder line with you as regards shunning.?

    Great advice continues:

    ?I would have went for a fairer fight. 3 on 1 means that you have to defend the ideas of 3 other people as well as formulate your own logic. Didn't JW's teach you to go 2 by 2?

    Others say:

    ?I have found that just staying away from anything about the lies the WTS teaches, it seems JW's are so good with the doublespeak that it is hard to reason with them. They deny till their blue in the face they are prophets, yet they follow the FDS if they told them to drink poison koolaid?

    Excellent advice continues:

    ?Direct you energies to more positive pursuits; it does take time and effort to heal as you move away from them. An argument like they always give you; only sets you back emotionally?

    Another poster who has been there done that:

    ?Sorry you went through all that, and the sad ending. You really can't debate someone out of the org. It's like a door locked from the inside. No matter how hard you bang, they won't come out until they unlock it themselves.

    I did the same thing with my father-in-law on a much tighter, more easily defined issue. (Birthdays) Got the same result as you.?

  • Caveat
    Caveat
    "?the elders said "before you get to the page where we once said that not a person but a small body of footstep followers known as JW's made up the prophet" the elder said that JW's never claimed to be prophets but acted as prophets in that they delivered a message of coming destruction from Jehovah the elder said there is a "big" difference in acting as a prophet and claiming to be a prophet."

    OHHHH!!! So that?s the way it works?

    "Me, an apostate? No way!!! Can you refer at a single instance that I called myself and apostate? I know the dictionary says that "one who has abandoned a religious faith?" can be considered one but I never made that claim about myself. Perhaps I do not believe one single thing of the JW?s doctrine, and I post at this site but there is a great difference between claiming to be apostate and acting like one"

    Would Mr "Loving Elder" allow this line of reasoning when he confronts you down the line?

    Caveat

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    I feel sorry the way that things ended up with your mom, but there isn't much to do when someone is locked in the WT theology.

    My personal expierience showed to me that the best to do when your are trying to argue with JW relatives regarding WT theology it is to discuss ONE subject at the time.

    The best to talk about it is their Occultic start as Bible Students with Russell and their Pyramidology strange believes. You can really shake their foundations. it work with me and I realize JW's know almost NOTHING of their history and what they used to believe. Even the elders had NO idea when i show them that Russell was influenced by Pyramidology!!!

    Also the year 607/587 as for the destruction of Jerusalim really shakes them. When I proved to them that the Bible and historical records proove that Jerusalim was destoyed at 587 they had nothing to say. And all they did it was to ask me were did I get the informations!!!

    So without 607 there is no 1914. Take away 1914 and WT religion it is build upon sand...

  • bebu
    bebu

    (((((booker)))))

    You did nothing wrong! You did all you could. Even with that, even with perfect evidence, perfectly submittted, there is no guarantee with any person.

    I am just really sorry for the hardness of your mother's heart. It sounds like only a miracle can help her. You can lead a horse to water...

    Don't beat yourself up over this. Sometimes, things get worse before they can get better.

    bebu

  • Golf
    Golf

    booker-t, you've been given some sound suggestions on the forum. Review JT comments.

    As for me, I'll be short and I'll put in the form of a question, "Have you ever seen a dog chasing its tail?" If you have,then you've got my drift.



  • rosemary
    rosemary

    ((((((((hugzzz))))))))

    Booker-t.....I was really taken back by your news.....it just made me feel really sad....

    I guess some people can't see the wood through the trees....

    Sorry....

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    Tell your mother to bring her stuff into this forum. We'll tear it up. This is why I refuse to engage in anything but a written discussion. It is crazy to think that something as important as "belief" can be resolved in the context of an oral discussion where everyone can deny they said something and shift ground at will. If it is worth discussing it should be done in writing. That's how scholars do things. Publish a thesis that can be challenged in writing. Publish the rebuttals. Who ever walks away without answering the rebuttals loses.

    Oral discussions were great before we had pencil and paper. Truth is not determined in 5 hours.

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