Sick Nostalgia... (page 2)

franklin J

I am so sorry .....but as above posts state; this is natural....it will pass.

You need to make NEW FRIENDS and have NEW POSITIVE experiences in life. This is the only way you can move forward and heal; and forget those negative JW things. We all need a support network of friends. We are social animals and need to know we belong....somewhere with others...

Join a local club or civic group. Meeting new people with similar interests or hobbies will mean so much at this time. The friendships will snowball; you will make new friends and meet others through them. Take it slow; this fog will lift; your parents will eventually come around.

good luck, Frank

Sunspot

Lately I've been feeling overwhelming nostalgia for my time as a JW. I know it's foolish and stupid, but it keeps happening.

(((((Kitties)))))

Hon, this doesn't surprise me. A nice memory is a nice memory-no matter what the circumstances. I particularly recall my childhood memories, mostly of my grandparents when I visited them. (None of our family was JWs)

It's not a bad thing to remember the pleasant aspects that you had as a JW, so I wouldn't worry about it at all. I'm glad that you *have* good memories. You may be emotionally healthier than I am at this point! :o)

Enjoy your freedom and your life---and hold all good memories close to you!

hugs,

Annie

Billygoat

I sometimes wonder if it's because I'm prepping to go to grad school and I realize now that this transition - for some reason, more than any other - will seal my fate in the eyes of my family. I will never be let back in and part of me is aching for the love of my parents.

I'm so sorry. I totally understand those feelings. Like everyone has said, it's very normal. It is very typical to grieve as if they are dead. I have gone through that grief and am beginning to come through the other side. My joy in my life is much bigger than the pain the loss of my parents has caused. Yes, it's hard...but time does make it better. Sometimes during those times it's easier to heal when I reach out to someone else in need. Do you have a coworker or friend that could use a shoulder or a dinner out on the town? Take advantage of your resources to help someone that needs cheering up. It takes the focus off you and makes you realize what a blessing you can be to someone else, which makes you feel better about yourself, despite your pain. Once you do it, you'll realize you've been healed just a little bit more.

Take care and good luck.

Andi

MungoBaobab

No big deal. A person's life is much more regulated and controlled when he or she is a child than an adult Witness's life. Have any happy memories of childhood? Life is a mix of good and bad.

Euphemism

(((kitties))) It sounds like what you really remember are the moments of belongingness. That's one of the things that cults are really good at providing, albeit of course by means of conformism.

When we leave the cult, we can start pursuing the higher levels of the pyramid: the sources of esteem and self-actualization that were denied to us. But in the meantime, our belongingness has been knocked out from under us.

kitties_and_horses_oh_my!

Thanks so much! I think you're right about it being a form of grieving, realizing that my parents really are gone from my life. Also, Euph, I think you nailed it when you said that I'm missing the feeling of belonging. I think that's so much of what it was - when I saw those Witnesses @ Starbucks, I just felt so comfortable in their presence. You know, the slightly socially inept teenage boy, the girl with her long hair and white tights with sandals, the dad in his ill-fitting suit - odd how those things make me feel comfortable.

I see a counselor once in awhile and one of the things we discussed today was labels...she said how very safe JWs feel, with their simple labels of "good" vs. "bad." It's not until you enter the real world that you see how unstable reality is, how in reality most everything is good and bad, true and false. So perhaps I'm missing the simplicity, the safety of being a JW. Life gets so much more complicated when you realize you are no longer a "good JW" but a student (who sometimes does a great job and othertimes can be pretty lazy), a wife (who sometimes is wonderful and other times falls on her a**), a friend (who sometimes is loyal and true and othertimes more selfish than she'd like to admit)..there are no more simple labels. But it's reality, and better for me to embrace that than to chase after a "truth" that is really an illusion.

Love you guys, Kitties

Sick Nostalgia...