Sad Today

by whyamihere 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OldSoul

  I try not and bring anyone down

  ((((Brooke))))

  My wife was in a similar state, wishing someone else would kill her, more than 50% of the time until she started "waking up." Now when I remind her that she can't afford to concern herself with my reactions to how she is feeling or what she says, she is able to speak freely and untwist her knots in a comfortable setting with someone she trusts to have her best interests at heart.

  Please, even if you have to force yourself, get yourself past the feeling that you have to look out for everyone else's feelings. Once you are well, whole again, there will be plenty of time for you to concern yourself with others and help them. That is the best way you could ever repay the kindnesses done for you.

  My prayers and thoughts are with you.

  Respectfully,
  OldSoul
• 

  Sassy

  I so know how you feel whyami.. I'm so sorry you are going through this.. this religion does mess us up..and the fact we lose friends based only on the foundation of a religion has been painful for so many of us.. I know I lost nearly every friend I had last year when I stopped meetings.. it has been tough
• 

  zealofjehu

  dear brooke

  i too am sorry to hear of all the things you are going throught. hang in there. you have left an occult and are expeiriencing normal sadness (normal sadness or evan depression that comes from isolation that most if not all normal mothers go throught) but it is mixed with greif and pain (from shunning or being made to feel evil or naughty) that the occult is counting on to bring you back in to a so called comfort zone. if you feel it is wrong to go back then completly let go. thats realy the first step.

  for so long you have been told that it is wrong to assciate with worldy people and in some ways we create these mental walls around us and make then strong enoungh that evan after we leave we have trouble making new friends and putting these into our lives. please for your own good make new friends who will be there for you when you need them and you can be there when they need you. this is the very foundation of friendship.

  do you work or are you a stay at home mom. if not hire a day care and get a job that requires you to meet a lot of people evan if you make just enought to cover the cost of the day care who cares for a while you need interaction with other people. and above all else remember you have friends here as well who all have gone throught something very simular and they know how it feels.

  and yes i would recomend a theripist. i dont know your situation ie you hubby a witness and such but perhaps evan some family counciling and i would evev more so very strongly recommend it if he too left the org.

  what ever you choose to do and what ever things happen you are always welcomed here and you can always count on us to be ther for you too.

  zoj

  hang in there
• 

  GentlyFeral

  I am so sorry. I try not and bring anyone down I just let a few things out.

  Miss Why,

  Don't be sorry. In coming here and talking about your very real problems, you are doing exactly what a good therapist would have you do. If I were in your place, I would be happy seeing my husband got to follow his dreams, but I would also make sure that my kids and myself got to do the same! I would do all I could to make my home a paradise of self-actualization (long word that means "doing good by being yourself")!

  But that's a big project that needs to be cut up into tiny, tiny bits. For now you need to make sure that the kids are OK and that you are OK. You're already starting on that, and getting lots of good advice here. And the sympathy from people who've been through it helps a lot, too, doesn't it?

  I have two favorite mottos for situations like this. They mean about the same thing.

  One is from the Bible:

  Do not despise the day of small things.

  Just because you can't do everything perfectly now doesn't mean you can't start something that will make a huge difference later on. The other posters on this thread have given you a lot of good advice about how to "start small." Yeah, you need to do the years-long work of building self-respect. Why not start by getting your makeup done? :) Which brings me to my other favorite motto, from the (very violent yet stylish) movie Kill Bill:

  Wiggle your big toe.

  What can you do today to make your life a little better? Something that will give you a little room to do more later? How can you "wiggle your big toe" right now so that you have room to move your foot, then your other foot, then to walk?

  "Venting" like this is a great start. And you've made an appointment with a therapist who can show you how to gradually get hold of those year-long tasks that will undo the damage done by the way you were raised.

  Hey, I thought of another motto that might help; if not now, then later:

  When the cat's away, the mice will play!

  When your husband goes off to school or band practice -- it's time for you and the kids to play! Any innocent thing that strikes your fancy - a video and popcorn, a water balloon fight in the house -- sorry, my husband did that once, don't know how that got in there... :) Um, yeah, taking the kids to Target is a great idea!

  Good luck,
  GentlyFeral