by jaredg 60 Replies latest jw friends
Jared
As you say you will have along time in the future with your parents
Do it
What the hell is 6 months, do what it takes, even shave off your beard, dont let them win
This is too important
Your dad is helping you, hes stuck between a rock and a hard place.
If my children loved me as much as you obviously love your parents id be so proud
Forget integrity, lying, being true to youself, this is a way to beat them DO IT
Goodluck
my dad stepped down as an elder recently b/c he was discouraged by the plotics and power stuggle going on in the congregation. it's interesting b/c my dad actually has a lot of views similiar to some of us here but he just can't let go of the WTS being appointed by God and he trully believes that all the wrongs he sees will one day be cleansed by Jah.
OH MY GOD, mine too!!!! My dad was asked to step down due to politics and everyone I know says he was the best elder they had. The CO keeps passing him over for stepping back up because he doesn't get more than 8 hours in field service each month. My dad says it is a human organization and has it's faults, but he believes it also has god's direction. He agrees that they make false statements all the time "but it is because they are human". Freaky, maybe something big is happening in NC. You aren't from the triad are you?
From my experiences (most of my friends have been df'd) you will have to stop dating your worldly girlfriend. That is what they have told all my friends and when they said they wouldn't they were disfellowshipped or told they would not be reinstated, depending on the situation. You would probably be better off not telling them you have a girlfriend. Why do they need that information? They don't, so don't volunteer it.
They will also encourage you to find a witness roommate, but I don't think this will hinder you. The beard? Man, don't know what to tell you there. This is NC and all. They do find it to be a redneck/badass trait. Depends on how GenX your congregation is. Maybe in a big city like Raleigh or Charlotte, but I know they would have issues with it in my BFE neck of the woods.
GOOD LUCK!! I have done a sucessfull fade, though I was never DF'd. My parents just send me the text everyday and encourage me to go to meetings. But they have finally learned to respect my decision as a "free moral agent" not to go if I don't want to.
Jared:
I hope all goes well for you!!!
Please keep us posted!!!
I was thinking of something. Your dad really wants to play a part in your future childrens lives. How much exposure do you want your kids to have to the WT? I would be clear with them about that since you are being so up front about everything else. I just thought it might be something to ponder. I can tell your dad loves you very much. I can understand why you would want to have your family in your life and why you would be willing to make such a sacrafice. Good luck!
At least you can keep us informed of any new light. LOL
Mulan,
: Sounds like your father really wants to help you beat the system
This acute observation speaks volumes! JWism is a "system" that is so tangled up with pharisaical rules and policies that one has to find a way to "beat the system" just to have a normal relationship with one's family.
What would Jesus think of such a "system?" He replaced law with love, and the WTS leaders replaced love back into law, thus undoing one of the main things that Jesus came to do.
Disgusting.
Farkel
I think you have a good handle on what you want to do Jared. Go for it. Tor
Jared you asked:
bikerchic....so now that you are fading how is your relationship w/ your family?
Strained to say the least. I call them they don't call me, but remember we now live thousands of miles away which helps a lot. The only conversations about JW matters have been through someone else (a JW sister who called me regarding some business) and asked me a lot of questions that I know my JW sister put her up to. She even wanted to pray for me on the phone, LOL. I wouldn't let her.
My family seems to have the don't ask, she won't tell because they know how outspoken I am and I need to let you know that if they ever did pressure me and ask me if I still believe in JW's being the only true religion I would tell them the truth about how I feel and think now. It would be over and they would begin the shunning. The are playing the game of don't ask and I'm along for the ride. I still have some contact with them but it's not like it used to be. They are hoping and praying I will return to the fold, heck I could use some positive energy so what the heck. I guess that should be at least they are still thinking about me which is something better than being shunned by them.
I don't know how long this will last, but when we do talk I keep it as far away from JW stuff as I can, just chit chat mostly and keeping up with family stuff.
Good luck Jared I'm really hoping the best of outcomes for you with this situation.
Kate
Hey Jared: Just do it - your relationship with your father is important and boy, he sounds like a good, loving father. I'd like to know how things turn out for you - so I'm hoping we'll still hear from you.
if all i have to do is sit in the back of the KH for 5 hours a week for 6 months and pretend to be all sad and write heartfelt BS letters to the elders (maybe i'll just get my dad to write them) then it will be worth it to me to give my parents peace of mind
No Man should need to pretend. God himself doesn't like that!
People here are telling you go for it but they won't have to pay for it you will. If you believe in Jehovah then don't do it for him if you don't then don't do it for selft respect. JWs may like to take away you dignity but boy don't help them!!
Your dad really wants to play a part in your future childrens lives. How much exposure do you want your kids to have to the WT? I would be clear with them about that since you are being so up front about everything else. I just thought it might be something to ponder.
yes i have wondered about this. i am going to be very upfront with my parents on how i don't want them to influence my children w/ JW thinking. I feel that between myself and my future wife that we can combat any influence that they do have.
stromboli....i think that in this case God sees what I am going through and he will forgive me if he doesn't like for me to pretend. i am never going to be a true JW again. i have told my parents this to their face. i know that they still have hope but that's something that they are either going to have to live with or get over.
talking about the "system"....YES it does suck!! the whole message from Jesus has been totally overlooked by the WTS. it is a cult! however i am not afraid to beat the system. to me it's just an ACT. i think it would be fun to be an actor so now i get my chance. i don't care about misleading the elders about my intentions BUT i will be completely truthful w/ my parents and my girlfriend. going back to meetings is going to SUCK but i'll just take note of quirky things they say and relate anything humorous to you guys. i'm gonna have to do somthing to pass the time. maybe i'll take up sketching or something.
honestly i really don't get how my dad can feel validified by "working" the system. it's amazing that he still needs the approval of the WTS even though i have expressed to him that i feel that i am approved by God. the soga continues.
