Posted this on another site:
I would like to bounce this off all of you and would like some feedback. I think I know what to do but just want to know if I am doing the right thing. Here goes my story,
I have been single now for over ten years. My children are all grown and I have nothing to hold me back. I just met this wonderful lady and have being dating her for the last four months. So far we are getting along, have so much in common and we have had some good times together. I have told her that I would like to take it slow but that we both feel the same for each other. Right now we see each other about once a week. I feel she is not playing games with me and we have been quiet honest with each other to where we would like this relationship to go i.e., eventually a long term commitment. So on my part there is nothing holding me back.
Now on her side she has only being out of her marriage for about a year and still is in the middle of settling and finalizing things with her ex. She also has some health issues, which is no big deal for me as I accept her for who she is although that has a lot to due with her availability. She has a 17 year old daughter that was abused by her step father, my lady friend's ex. It was the only father she knew for most of her life and because of this broken trust, she does not trust men. About a month ago my lady friend tells me that her daughters physiologist says it is not a good time for her (my lady friend) to get involved with one someone right now. The physiologist told her that it would take a couple of months for her daughter to get over this. Her daughter is so protective of her mother, like screening her calls and not giving her mother the messages. For us to meet we have to do it behind her daughters back which makes me feel like I am a 15 year old kid.
My thoughts are, will her daughter ever get over being over protective of her mother? If so how long should I give it? It is just that I really care about my friend, I have told her this and would like to spend a little more time with her without sneeking around. I am also wondering if she (my lady friend) is playing a little cool because of being afraid of commitment due to her bad past relationships. If so do I cool it for a bit? I really would like this to work as like I said previously we seem to have so much in common and these days it is so hard to find someone that you truly click with. I am also being a realists by preparing myself that this might not work out due to the dynamics of the situation. What do others of you think? I know it is hard to give a complete picture of the situation but if you would like any further details feel free to ask.