i was recently disfellowshipped for being involved in a relationship with another female. its been hard for me especially since my family no longer has association with me. i love my lady so much and i miss my family so much. i dont agree with disfellowshipping in that my own family doesnt accept and deal with who i am and who i happen to love. i just wish that i had my family as a part of my life. i was told that there are a few of you out there who are in the same situation as i am. i would love to hear your comments. i have been having a hard time dealing with this and would love support. this is the first time i am speaking about this.
same-sex relationships
by mamas 22 Replies latest jw friends
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TresHappy
I am sorry you were disfellowshipped. The pain of it must be horrible at times. Homosexuality is so taboo in the Witnesses, I knew several people who were disfellowshipped for that (all men). They are all still out and in same sex relationships.
Edited because I didn't proof very well!
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mamas
wow....you were in this situation too?? i have not spoken to ANYONE who is a female that had this happen. yes, i am still with my lady. i love her so much. if it was easy enough for me to drop her and move on i would have.
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Swan
I have two (step-)granddaughters that are lesbians. One of our granddaughters married her spouse last spring in Portland in a slew of 3000 marriages that are now being contested. Nevertheless, they are married in our eyes and we accept and celebrate their commitment to each other. The idea that we should ever expect them to break up just to please our family is just as preposterous an idea to us as asking their straight siblings to give up their husbands just to please the family. What your family wants of you is not only ludicrous, it is inappropriate and well outside the bounds of what any family should ask.
My husband's family has never been JW, so the granddaughters have never been shunned. One place that you can find support in addition to this board is at PFLAG (Parents, Family/Friends of Lesbians and Gays). There are chapters all across the country.
The hardest thing you will have to face is reconciling that there are people you will meet on your journey who will love you just as you are. You will often wonder why your family couldn't show you the same kind of love and acceptance. You will wonder how they could love their impotent and conspicuously absent God over their own flesh and blood. It will hurt. It will hurt a lot. But there will be people here and elsewhere to help you through it. Just remember, it is not your dysfunction that your family is incapable of returning your love; it is theirs.
All my best to you,
Tammy
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mamas
thank you tammy.
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unique1
Don't know if you have seen this site yet or not. Perphaps it will help.
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ohiocowboy
Hello and welcome!
I am a gay guy and was DF'd for being gay. I have been with my partner for almost 3 years now. Yes, it is sad to lose family and be shunned, but I have learned over the years that we have the ability to make our own families and friends with those that love us for who we are, and those that are not blinded by such a megalomaniacal cult/religion such as the JW's.
Just remember that the important thing is that we have the ability to love, whether it be someone the same gender as us or not.
It is difficult at times when a family reacts by shunning, and it is not an easy thing to have to deal with. You will meet so many people here that have been shunned, and you will be able to gain insight and wisdom from them on how to deal with it, and you will soon realize that you are not alone in what you are feeling. I hate the fact that so many of us are shunned, but on the other hand, I find solace knowing that I am not alone in this, and can relate so closely with what others are going through.
I hope you stick around here, it will be a learning experience for you, and can only help you grow as a person.
Best wishes to you!!!
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TresHappy
Perhaps I should have clarified, mine was not a same sex relationship. It was a jerky guy I was engaged to at one time who helped open my eyes to the false doctrine I believed in...
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Country Girl
Although my own personal beliefs may differ from yours, I believe that free will is a good force for people. I believe that all people should have the right of free will. People should be able to love who they want to love, if it doesn't violate the rights of others, namely: children. More power to you and I hope you find the peace taht you need..
CG
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ValiantBoy
I was not disfellowshipped for being gay. But the fact that Iam makes it all that easier for my former friends to shun me. My dad was never a Witness and has always been supportive. My sisters have both left the "truth" and are supportive. My mom is inactive. Initially she was very difficult. But when she saw how much my boyfirend cared about me and how devoted we were to each other, she became more understanding. In fact, she always asks about Dan and even welcomes both of us at her house..but we still can't spend the night...