Tati you sound like you're burned out. Take some time off if you have it available.
I hate my job....
Much of the medical problems of our day have to do with our diets and life style including a lot of the birth disorders like AFS, cleft pallet and hundreds of other conditions. Our food suplies are so contaminated by complex chemicals used to color them, stabalize them, preserve them, make them runny, make them firm, make them textured, on and on. The chemical soup including sprays on fruits and vegetables, herbicides, pesticides etc. etc. These can't be blamed on a God that doesn't bail out the children of man that poisons himself. We have to take action. It's within our own capacity to correct these problems that we generated. Satan can't be blamed for our decisions, until you see him as our own lower nature overwhich we ultimately have donimance.
Just wanted to give you a BIG hug!
Very hard to deal with, Tatiana, I'm sure! Does it help to remember you're part of the network that's giving some sort of comfort to these ones? Every one of you do your share and support the other facets of patient care. Thank you for your contribution.