Ive been studying a while and my gf is a baptized JW. She wants me to get baptized. But Ive got many questions that Ive never got satisfactory answers for. The internet has been very helpful. Ive got many questions about the organization, NWT, etc. But I cant go to her family at all. They will not have a favorable view unless I buy whatever they tell me. I have a good friend at the KH, but Iam not sure I can trust him with the serious questions I have. This will crush my GF if she finds out. Any suggestions?
who can you trust when talking about organizational questions?
It's very difficult when a relationship is involved, but you have to realize that they want you to get baptized and that they view it as a LIFETIME commitment. At any point after you are baptized and question the organization or anything else, you could becomes disfellowshipped for apostacy.
Be sure you understand fully the implications before you ever get baptized. You might love your girlfriend, but this religion causes so much harm and damage to families if you ever decide it's not what you want to do.
Keep reading, keep posting, keep asking questions!!! QUESTIONS are the best thing you can do!
Your answer is in your question:
But Ive got many questions that Ive never got satisfactory answers for. The internet has been very helpful. Ive got many questions about the organization, NWT, etc. But I cant go to her family at all. They will not have a favorable view unless I buy whatever they tell me. I have a good friend at the KH, but Iam not sure I can trust him with the serious questions I have.
You haven't gotten any satisfactory questions though you're studying with them. You can't trust her family or the friend at the hall. That should tell something right there. If you can't trust these people, then who else in the religion can you trust?
Your instinct is trying to tell you something but your feelings for the JW girl are getting in the way. Tread carefully and trust your instincts more.
Trust no-one - it's a cult!
This is a decision that will have a long-term impact on your life, especially if you ever marry her and have kids!!!
Sometimes life is just that hard!
PS. I was an Elder for several years, having been raised in the WTS. I would have given you the party line and been most convincing about it!
Ironically, the only ones you can trust are WT Lawyers who are willing to provide you with notorized formal statements... good luck finding any.
I just love how the Dubs are ever faithful to the "party line" and WTS teachings for new ones. But they continue to violate the Bible by dating and marrying "non-Dubs", how "theocratic" can her family be? Unless of course this is a new subliminal way the Dubs are using their women folk to "rope in " unsuspecting new ones (can we say Moabites?).
The foundation is all wrong- recipe for disaster! I know, I married one too. Run for the hills...because her "God" will become your "God" and her "people" WILL BECOME YOUR "PEOPLE"! They know they hold the upper hand- do you?
Your post does not say how old you are. I am betting that if you are discussing things with her mother and father you are either a late teen ager or in your early 20s.
The reason why I ask is that you cannot trust ANYONE who is currently a Jehovahs Witness ( ie, her parents or others you meet at the kingdom hall) to give you a rational; fair and objective view of the religion.
If you live at home; ask YOUR PARENTS for their IMPRESSIONS of the Jehovahs Witnesses and build from there. Do not take someones opinion who is currently a witness as it will be biased.
Observe without making a committment. Remember; you do not have to do ANYTHING you do not want to do of your own accord. Do not allow yourself to be connived by your girlfriend--and remember; she is not worshipping of her own resolve--she is doing this because she most likely lives at home and her parents have raised her to follow this religion, it is probably all she knows.
All these replies are good. The one I would suggest is 'run for the hills'.
If you love this girl, you will most likely ruin her life and yours if u ever marry and then develop doubts about this being the 'truth'. You will be cast out for even asking serious questions after baptism. If you do not get baptized, they will work her hard against marriage to you, and if she is 'strong' in the faith, she will listen to them. If not, and she marries you anyway, and later religion gets in the way, you will both be the losers for it.
This is a tough line among JW's. Marriage is considered permanent. Becoming a witness is considered permanent. And if u are cast out - it will most likely put a permanent stain on your name - and might permanently disfigure your marriage.
Tread slow - tread easy - and keep your heart still until you are sure of committment to the girl and her faith forever.
Just My Opinion
You're not baptized, therefore, you're not part of the click. Trust nobody.
Your girlfriend will move on. Leave now while you're still just gf and bf, and not further invested.
You've already realized a big problem. Let me put it in different words. Your relationship with your gf is conditional on your religious status. If you're not in the same religion as your gf, you'll kiss your relationship goodbye. You're being judged as if you're black and your gf is white. Unless you bleach your skin, you can't have a relationship with your gf.
Also, you'll never be a priority for your gf. This is the order of important people in her life:
1. The Watchtower Society's leadership
3. The Circuit Overseer
4. The Elders
5. The members of the Congregation (including parents, siblings and children)
7. Her boyfriend/husband
You have all these people ahead of you when it comes to importance. All of them will take priority when it comes to any relationship issues. She'll consider their feelings and opinions before she ever considers yours.