When my brothers and I were younger we used to have to sit on the inside seats with my Dad on the aisle seat. My Dad is extremely hard of hearing so anytime we had to go to the bathroom during a meeting, we had to practically shout to him that we had to go. One time my brother told him that he had to go, so my Dad shouted back #1 or #2. My brother had to yell back #2 so my Dad let him out of our row and told him for all to hear 'Don't forget to wipe and use a wet one'. The whole congregation died of laughter on that one. Made the Sunday Watchtower a bit more bareable!
were there any embarassing moments in the congregation?
During one Sunday Watchtower study at the KH, the subject was ancient Israel.
One paragraph dealt with what the Israelite parents taught their children.
That the mother would teach a daughter the womans work.
That the father would teach a son his "secular" work.
One young boy, about 12, put his hand up to answer this simple question.
He answered that he mother taught the daughter womans work.
But the father taught his son his "SEXUAL" work.
Well the congregation just collapsed in laughter. Watchtower study conductor tried his best to keep a straight face, and failed. The reader couldn't read next paragraph.
It was the biggest laugh we ever had in the hall.
Hmm. There seems to be a lot of "farting" posts on this thread. I thought I would add my own:
My grandmother thought she had carte blanche to fart anytime, anywhere. When we sang after the meeting one time, she decided to let one rip between verses. Everyone busted out laughing. I wanted to laugh too, but her husband and I were so embarassed.
ugh this didnt happen once or twice but a few times to me .... being married to an "unbeliever" and with 4 kids to get to the meetings sometimes i just didnt have time to eat...my stomach just wouldnt be quiet and it would growl so loud & long that close to half the congregation could hear it.& they would start laughing..of course it happen when no one is talking or the bro giving the talk was pausing..or worse of all during the prayer!!!
Let's see...where do I begin? After accepting a last minute assignment (that morning) to give a talk at a neighboring KH, I was counseled from the platform after the talk, by the PO about putting more time into preparing my talks. This wasn't the Ministry School, this was a Sunday talk. I was very embarrassed until the same PO started to conduct the WT study for that week, with a watchtower that was a year old!
Then there was the time a brother was supposed to say "we will have 15 minutes for intermission" and instead said "we will have 15 minutes for intercourse"
When the elders decided to give me the MS #5 talk on masturbation, because I was the "mature one" amoung my age group, and I practically fell off my chair laughing after the school servant gave me good marks for a talk on a "touchy subject"
Last was a brother who I couldn't help but laugh at everything he did. Once when I was to introduce the service meeting, during the song, I looked out into the audience only to see him picking his nose, and pretending to eat it! I busted up laughing just as the song ended, and I was trying to introduce the first speaker. The elders called me into the back room after that meeting, and it was a long time before I was given any parts on the service meeting again.
I've enjoyed everyones posts. This was great.
Two extremely old, and extremely wealthy fleshly sisters used to attend our congregation. The older sister had this farting problem. One day she happened to be sitting in the row in front of me. Just as the song got over and we were about to sit down she cut a loud one. My son who was them three years old and sitting next to me, turned to my wife and said aloud: "It wasn't me, it was dad." While my wife and I turned red, half the rear of the hall burst out laughing.
THIS had to be the funniest thing I ever heard in a KH. Two elder's kids were being married and the Grandfather of the bride (also and elder)was giving the marriage talk. He was SO nervous, and towards the end of his talk he said (as he looked into their faces) something about always living in harmony with Jehovah's ORGASM!
Needless to say, the entire congregation was trying very hard to stifle the laughter, and it wasn't until he saw all the commotion did he realize what he must have just said! This made it twice as bad because he was obviously flustered. The poor couple having to stand there all that time----it was quite a memorable moment!
Another that always makes me grin was before we got A/C in the KH. During the #4 talk, the fans were going full force on the platform and the brother giving the talk had a bad comb-over that most of us had never realized WAS that bad!
Every time the fan would go from one side to the other---his hair would lift straight up from his head and then lay back down flat again. It was SO hilarious---and he was totally oblivious about what was happening. There wasn't a dry eye in the house that night!!!
My son Aaron went into the Men's restroom when he was three years old and emptied the Fire Extinguisher all over. (I secretly thought that was a hoot!)
I recall an incident with a Black sister whose toddler pulled her wig off and threw it out into the isle. I really felt sorry for this poor, tired mom. Now on top of that, she terribly embarassed.
Well, I don't have anything funny to contribute. But I just wanted to let everyone know how much I enjoyed your posts. I was ROTFLMAO!! Especially the one about the brother being counsled on his talk about masturbation and how well he did on a "touchy" subject. That is too friggin' funny!!!! It's great that we can look back and laugh about this stuff now. Thanks everyone for the funny posts!
The very last time I was at a Kingdom Hall, before I was disfellowshipped, I went to a Sunday meeting, but left early to go to work.
On my way out, while everything is quiet and everyone is sitting down watching me leave, I trip over an elders bookbag and fell on my ass. Many of the kids ROARED with laughter. I must have looked pretty funny. I'm glad I wore underwear that day.
Nancy - they didn't DF you for showing your underware did you?