First ever posting

by ddean3673 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • seattleniceguy

    Hello, and welcome to the board, ddean!

    Everyone here has made great comments. What really helped me was reading a lot and writing a lot. First, I read on topics that I had always wanted to read, but either didn't have the time or felt like I was discouraged to do so, or was downright afraid to read (such as serious material on evolution - I was afraid to have my faith seriously challenged). I read a lot of science, philosophy, some religion, and politics during the first few months after leaving.

    You mentioned that you felt better just writing about your experiences. That's certainly my experience, too. I like to muse when I write, just muse about the day, some experience I had, some concept I'm turning over in my mind - you know what I mean. I keep a personal journal, as well, which allows me to muse on more private topics. I believe that writing is profoundly helpful to the human mind.

    And, of course, you have to have community. This board is a great place for it, but it helps to be involved in the real world, too. Maybe there's a club or group that shares one of your interests? A book group? A hiking club? Something like that might help to establish a peer network in this brave new world.

    Just some thoughts. So glad to have you aboard! See you around.


  • Kenneson

    Like everyone before me, I want to extend a "handshake" and express


  • Aude_Sapere

    ddean -

    A quick but warm Welcome to the Board.

    We are glad you are here!!

    Most families have oddities. Witness families take the cake...


  • pr_capone

    Welcome and good luck with the leaving process. Its long and hard but its more than worth it.

    Kansas District Overbeer

  • JustTickledPink

    Welcome. I've been out for many years, but only recently decided to get online. It's been so wonderful to read stories of people who have similar feelings and problems... Just being on a message board is very helpful.

    Glad you're here!

    So what happened to your wife? Did that work out and what's her position on all of this? (can you tell I'm nosy?)

  • HappyDad

    Welcome to the board ddean,

    You will find a lot of great people here and also a lot of answers for questions you have. There are a lot of similar experiences that most of us have gone through.

    One of the things you said hit me as something I also went through.

    and I began to notice no one really ever checked on me.

    You will find that there is more love and friendship with people who are not jw's once you start meeting them. They are not the ogre's that we were told they were.

    So sit back and get to know yourself and others and enjoy the ride of your life.


  • Goldminer

    Welcome ddean from northern ontario,canada.

    Very interesting story,you can post a longer version on which I noticed has already been posted,as well someone has also recommended reading crisis of conscience.

    As for myself ddean,I'm still somewhat attached to the jw's because of my wife but I only attend a meeting every 3 to four months and the odd assembly.I don't claim to be a jw and I encourage my wife to make friends outside the organization since she's lost most of her jw friends to disfelloshippings,disasociations,hypocrisy...etc.

    Hope you'll stick around and enjoy the different posts and personalities here,it can be very entertaining at times.

  • acsot

    Hi and welcome!

    "Coming out" is pretty overwhelming at first, but very liberating. You are free - free to read what you want, associate with who you, go where you want. One book that I really enjoyed (and was recommended by someone on this board) is "True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements" by Eric Hoffer.

    Though not dealing with JWs or even religion per se, it is extremely helpful in seeing how movements (whether political like Communism or religious like JWs) grow and maintain their hold on people. Even how the leaders of such movements rise to the fore to keep the movement going (I was amazed at how the book seemed to describe the personalities of Russell, Rutherford and Knorr, even though it was Communism that was the focus of the book) (And here we had been led to believe that it was Jehovah's spirit directing these men! )

    Getting an overall view of current events and history (away from Watchtower rhetoric) helps one to realize that the so-called spirit-directed organization is nothing of the sort, and that helps shed the dreaded guilt of "what if the teachings are right after all", "what if it really is the truth and the problem lies only in some of the people".

    What I did after I first left was not read the Bible at all for three months, then one day I started at Genesis. Well, it took all of 15 minutes for it to hit me: "This is a fable, a fairy tale. I can't believe I actually bought into this for so long." Without even going into historical veracity of the human timeline on earth or Bible chronology or anything like that, you could say that my eyes were opened.

    Maybe your path or conclusions will be different, but at least they'll be yours, not a path forced upon you by a bunch of men in Brooklyn.

    Best of luck to you in your journey.

  • DanTheMan
    What would you tell someone to do first, looking back?

    Read Crisis of Conscience. You can read chapter 1 here.

  • calamityjane


    You'll have great therapy sessions here.


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