JW definition of disassociating yourself?

by wordlywife 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • wordlywife
    wordlywife

    Can someone help me to understand what it would mean to a loyal witnes to diassociate yourself, and to the org? Having seen what happened during my husband's DF, and his subsequentreinstatement, what would it mean to DA yourself? Would you be treated the same as being DF? Would anyone (JW) talk to you? Would you be shunned just the same? Just need some clarification. All this terminology gets me confused at times.

    Thanks to all who care to comment.

    WW

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    The results are exactly the same... the DF person gets their label by the elders, when you DA yourself you are initiating it, but the results and the treatment of the person are exactly the same.

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    also, by dissaccociating yourself, you have the satisfaction of knowing it was YOUR INITIATION of the break rather than theirs.

    The best course of action is not to validate the JW beliefs; leaving on your terms empowers YOU as the individual; not them.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    also, by dissaccociating yourself, you have the satisfaction of knowing it was YOUR INITIATION of the break rather than theirs.

    I agree Franklin here - and in case I ever need to, I have a DA letter waiting in the wings. But I also agree that they take your power in that approach also. It is their pronouncment of evil under another label is all.

    Also for the poster info - you can be considered Disassociated for joining the military, taking a blood transfusion, joining a church or other organization that the org considers wrong. Same treatment as disfellowshipping. This term protects them more legally in some cases.

    Just My Opinion

    Jeff

  • minimus
    minimus

    "Disassociation" was the brainstorm of the Legal Dept. and it takes all liability off the organization for action THEY take against you. When a person disassociates himself, HE no longer has a reason to legally sue the Society or the elders for anything. HE took the action and it makes things a lot neater if legal problems were to ensue.....Minimus---NOT a fan of disassociation!

  • Alwayshere
    Alwayshere

    If you DA yourself you are treated the same as a DF person. To fade out is best. Your family will still speak this way.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Alwayshere, I am compelled to modify the results of "fade away". Depending on the zeal of family and friends, even a "fader" may be treated as "bad association", which is almost as bad as Disassociated or Disfellowshipped. Those who fade away can still talk to family members (about when they are coming back to the meetings) but aren't invited to social events.

  • Mulan
    Mulan
    Alwayshere, I am compelled to modify the results of "fade away". Depending on the zeal of family and friends, even a "fader" may be treated as "bad association", which is almost as bad as Disassociated or Disfellowshipped. Those who fade away can still talk to family members (about when they are coming back to the meetings) but aren't invited to social events.

    Yep!!

    Also agree with the others. Disassociation is the same as Disfellowshipping.............different names, same result.

  • Alwayshere
    Alwayshere

    JGNAT, You are right as to the "fade out"but I just can't DA and not see my grandkids or ever say hi to them. It's a shame that Organization can get away with their rules.I get to spend all day with my grandkids and when they get grown they will be close to me. So I think it is worth fading out. I don't care if I am not invited to their gatherings or if other JWs speak to me.There is always the chance that someday my Daughter will think of what I have already told her or maybe the Organization will predict another end to the world and it may open her eyes.I guess we all have different views as to what we should do but at least we are out.

  • toladest
    toladest

    Actually it depends on who you talk to because many JW's get confused about it. One elder on my elder comittee which was URGING me to disassociate said that if I did I could still associate with my family at which point the other 2 elders quickly corrected him. Many veiw disassociation as direct apostacy (which is what I was accused of) because you are "choosing" to "walk away from God".

    I did end up being forced to DA. I had the choice to be DFed or DA. They had actually decided to DF me, I appealed and then after a long drawn out appeal that included a letter being sent to NY for their decision (because my 2nd commitee did not agree with my 1st comittee) I was told I would be DFed but could still choose to DA. I chose to DA because I thought if I were DFed people would think I cheated on my husband. They thought it anyway....

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