my take...

by teejay 74 Replies latest jw friends

  • BrendaCloutier

    I like the thread. Thanx TJ.

    I've expressed my gratitude at being raised JW. I was adopted and my upbringing was faaaar better than my half-sibs. I learned a great deal through Theo Min(imal) School, and going door to door. Since I was pulled from school after my sophomore year, it was all the "adult" education I had to rely on.

    I believe it is every adults responsibility to rectify their past, good, bad, indifferent, with who they are today and go forward. Keeping what is valuable and what works, until it stops working, and discarding the crap. Onus is an important part of "growing up". Ouch!

    When I look at other's crap, I'll keep my own, thank you very much.

    Hugs, y'all


    Psst: Peace begins with me - pass it on!

  • confusedjw

    My kids had a pretty good time growing up JW's, but only because my wife and I moderated the insanity.

    The part about not being afraid to stand up and be different is good.

  • logansrun

    Yeah, and can someone please tell me what a "normal" life is anyway? Is normal mindlessly engaging in holidays which you think are Christian but are really pagan to the core? Is normal believing that your country is "blessed by God" and is better than any other?

    In many ways Jehovah's Witnesses engage in very healthy behavior and have developed some ideas about the world which are a pretty damn good way of looking at things. I'm still glad I never "pledged allegiance to the flag" -- ever think about those words?


  • SixofNine

    While I don't think I'm miles apart from tj's basic philosophy, I tend to look back at the past and give it a "coulda been worse" stamp of approval....strike that, not approval, just acceptance.

    That said, I don't see any silver lining in teaching a kid to pigheadedly "stand up" for unsupported, self-important beliefs.

  • happyout


    As usual, you and I think alike on this subject. I believe there are negative consequences from being raised a witness, like not having my college degree, but I can't say beyond a doubt that I would have gotten it had I not been a witness. And if I turned out anything like my cousins, I would have have at least one child out of wedlock, done some experimenting with drugs, and had at least one failed marriage behind me (if I ever got married).

    I was raised a witness, and it kept me from teenage sex, wild parties, and really bad association. Again, would I have done those same things without being a witness? Don't know, but the examples of my family say I would have had a far tougher life than I do.

    I also can never emphasize enough how strong of a woman my mom is, and how much that shaped me. She dealt with very advers circumstances with grace, love, and optimism, and taught me that I should not depend on anyone but myself. There is no one I admire more than her, she is a woman of honor and principle. Would she be that way if she weren't a witness? I don't know. But I can (in my more generous moments) give at least partial credit to the org, because NONE of her siblings has accomplished what she has.

    Great post, my deep thinking brother.



  • unclebruce

    Good post TJ,

    Nice to put a face to your handle too (that really you?)

    But how freak'n dare you come on here saying you enjoyed your time as a JW!!!! LOL

    Like you I look back fondly on my past ...sure my parents were violent and abusive .. sure they dragged us into the watchtower mill .. sure dad died in my arms at 17 .. sure watctower shit coupled with extreme home violence helped send two of my sisters certifyably mad... I'm occationally given to think on these things sometimes deluding myself by imagining my life would be markedly better if I wasn't subjected to the watchtower zombie regime. But that would at best be self indulgent and at worse be just another exercise in self delusion.

    for me growing up a jw just added a touch more excitement to a very busy and interesting time ..

    Fight the bastards with the weapon tyrants & fanatics fear most - humour in all its forms & guises

    best wishes, unclebruce

  • happyout

    By the way, while I know the WTS was responsible for extreme pain and suffering (and still is), I often wonder if those dishing out the pain are just using that as an excuse? If they didn't have the WTS, would they have found another religion that taught extreme submission (there are many)? And what about those who don't pretend to have a religion, but just dish out abuse anyway?

    I was watching a stand up comedian whose wife I used to work with, and his life was totally fu***** up. The show is called "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding" and the comedian is Christopher Titus. His act is based upone his real life, and boy, talk about abuse and suffering! Would a religion have stopped his abuse, or made it worse?

    I guess I'm going back to another poster's thoughts, maybe it's the people, and the religion is just an excuse.


  • logansrun


    I was raised a witness, and it kept me from teenage sex, wild parties, and really bad association.

    In my experience, most young JWs engage in the above anyway. I'm SHOCKED at the things all the other JW young-in's were doing while I was reading my Bible at night. I went to a JW New Years Eve party last year. There was plenty of "judicial offenses" going on.

    I've come to the conclusion that I was an abnormal Witness. I really lived it.


  • stopthepain

    As always,people who try to defend thier upbringing go back to worse case scenarios.

    Example-If I didnt have the troof, i would have experimented with drugs---no people experiment with drugs because they want to!!!!!!

    I would have gotten pregnant.Again,no,none of my worldly friends have gotten anyone pregnant,there just not dumb about having sex.

    I can speak in front of a crowd,becvause of the ministry shcool.Please spare me that line of crap.

    Well I had good friends in the troof growing up.--tell me,how many of those "friends "still talk to you,and if they do,always with the thought that they could sway you to comeback.The only friends that still call or talk to me are my "worldly " friends from school.The same people my mother and father called bad assosiation.

    Sixofnine said it best,you pigheadedly taught you kids to stand up for self important beliefs.

    I cant get all the thoughts I have out,----but ask yourself,if you took out that religion alone,would your life have been better or worse.I know I can say better.Hands down

  • logansrun


    The point is not that the JWs are "special" or "better" than other groups or that being raised one is uniquely good. The point is that it simply wasnt that bad. It wasn't incredibly awful or horrible. And, there were some good things too.

    Yes, I could have learned to be a "good speaker" in other groups (although, how many 10 year olds give talks in front of 100 adults on a routine basis?). The JWs simply served as a vehicle for some productive experiences in my life. Other vehicles would have provided similar, or even better, experiences. But I had this one. That's just the way it worked out. The experiences were not unique to JWs, but at the same time lets not discount them.

    Humans are cognitively constructivist animals. You can frame your life experiences in positive or negative terms. There is no standard for judging them outside of your subjective, constructivist tendencies. If you choose to look at your past and your present in a positive light you simply will feel better about life and accomplish more.

    But, by all means continue your vengeful, juvenile, cry-baby attitude toward the JWs. See how far that gets you.


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