Real friends do not hold their friendship over your head like its a prize to be won if you are very good...I had "friends" like that. *sigh*
I don't know all the particulars sugarbritches, but I hope you wont stop posting on account of some misunderstandings, all are welcome here.
Dubs and ex Dubs alike post here as well as those who never became Dubs.
No one should exclude you just because and you might have become offended but offense was not the intent, more like curious as to your position.
(((((((((Hugs))))))))))) any whos gotta go
hahahaa... actually it went more like this
I liked confusedjw's version better.
confused....YOU...are a comic genius!
sugar, this person IS your friend, however, this person has been in the JW environment, which entales having little to no association with non witnesses thus almost every friend this person has made over at least the past few years is in the JW org. when him or her was disfellowshipped these friends became a powerful tool used against them by the orginisation to conform and return. The enormity of this cannot be concieved by most,as ALL your witness friends and quite possibly some/all of your family are shunning you, this person would most certainly be looking at every possible way of reentering the witnesses even if it isnt their wish.
When i was disfellowshipped i wanted back in so bad for about a year and a half and it was really wearing me down but i had an old schoolmate that i had kept in contact with (very little when i was in the 'truth') when i was trying to get reinstated it was someone i could go for a surf with and forget my hassles and we wouldnt talk about spiritual things just normal everyday things. It was really refreshing and now I consider him as one of my best friends.
So i dont know if my story is applicable to you and your friend but if you can just go to a movie with this friend once a fortnight or something to put some normalcy back into their life then you might just save them and have a friend for life.
or you could just say call me when you stop sooking and sort your s##t out and we'll go for a beer
HI life- thanks for your post and for the advice. I would love to go to a movie or something with my friend- but he hasn't made contact with me since last May. He is afraid to talk to me or associate with me because the elders disfellowshipped him because of his association with me - a non- witness. They warned him a couple of times- he didn't think it was right- so he ignored their warning about associating with me and they disfellowshipped him-- so he is ignoring me like the plague. He used to tell me I was his best friend--- what a fool I am. I believed him.Maybe one day he will wake up- but I'm not going to hold my breath.Again thanks for you post and for your understanding.-- Sugarbritches
Can I give the perfect answer to this question (it may even give the JWs goosebumps of delight):
The way to begin the process of reinstatement is to contact the local elders (preferably in writing) and they will take it from there. One contact is made, there will be absolutely no gaps in your knowledge about what you have to do to be re-instated.
Should you not hear back from them after say, three or four years, think about writing another letter...or be outrageous and just enjoy the freedom.
Hey, Sugar, Prey tell--why you wanna know. But coming from a professional DF and re-reinstated several times idiot until I finally saw the light. You humbly sit in the back of the hall, looking sadly and miserable. After many months, you write a letter, professing your repentence and admitting what a horrible sinner you were/are and if you haven't pissed any of the elders off--walla-you're back in Jehovah's good graces and everyone loves you again- very conditionally of course.
Dont pineforever for your friend, but nevercount him out. My best friend and I have been together almost 12 years now. I was on my ay back in the cong when she was just learning. Then she gotbaptized and I DFed. Then no contact for years, then one day I called. She was inactive and going thru a divorce. So like any idiot would do, with her support and praise I married her ex husband. Now he is a freak, we are divorcing... I am DFed still and she nor he are, but way, way should be, at anyrate, several states and years later, we all work in the same building and she is still my best friend.
She has been patient with me while I learned things she knew from being"worldly" and I have been patient while she has learned to be patient and more mild tempered "all those goody goody things I learned while young". If God ever made two friends more the opposite and yet enwine our fates so close please let me know.
It has been years and despite my being on one end at times and her the other, she is truly my sister. Closer than allmy biological sisters and brothers or the family who has not seen any light yet. You might remember that JW is a brainwashing and in order to really break out, you have to look in. Maybe your friend is not at this point yet, but there comes a day when most people (if they are thinking folk) have to talk to the truth that sits in the corner of thier mind and figure out the big answer WHY? Sometimes it takes year, sometimes it never happens, but I feel there is always hope. The tangled lives of DF'ed and non DF'ed have a way of changing on a dime. Sometimes and more often than not...the same as a JW is taught to lead by example, a disfellowshipped person (or hurt person) has to sit back and be the bigger person and wait. Wait on time and never be quick to cut people off. despite how you have been treated. People grow at different speeds.
That is all...hope it helps
Yes Verginia you must first be outside looking in for at least one year, then after that IF you have stopped being naughty asumming they know how naughty or nice you really are, then you send the Elders a form of worship to them in the likeness of a begging letter; now your letter must have lots of tears on the paper you know all that mushy stuff like you really belive you have been a real filthy disgusting person who caused vile reproch on the Org. Then I am sure you will be let back into the fold of gods loving Christian brotherhood. Now, if they do not let you in stating the body feels you are not repented enough, if it was me I would go and drink more beer at Freddys Bar and Grile just down the corner from me.
Now I have found better friends than I ever had in the troof at the Elks Club, they forgive me of my sins .