We all have mothers....

by Preston 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Preston
    Preston

    My mom was born to a Jewish family on Staten Island, New York 50 years ago. She learned "the truth" from a group of sisters who told her that the Jews were not God's chosen people and that she needed to be baptized. She went through most of her life not following the society to a "T". She shirked responsibilities, field service, married a catholic (my dad) but despite being labeled a bad influence, a weak woman, and an overall bad witness she taught her kids about the Bible, God and the resurrection with a sincerity and depth that I think few people could experience. She taught her kids it was wrong to displease God, and brought us up under a firm hand. However? She also approved my brother take a ?worldly? girl to a prom, that we should only go out in field service if we wanted to and that her kids go to college. My mom was a "bad" witness... and she didn't care.

    It cannot come as news to you that all of us had have mothers and yet, in some way, maybe it does. I read the other day that the commonalities that make us all, in some way, family, often get overlooked. People on this site somehow get turned into caricatures -- not real people, but virtual cardboard cutouts, complete with labels: liberal, conservative, red, blue, Dub, as if life was one of those TV shows where you have to be one thing or another, never a bit of both.

    I often like to think that you will never truly know what another person is like on this board until you meet them a few times. A poster on this board that I know of (who use to post a lot) once said you only see about 20% of what that person is like. I use to keep in contact with several people on this board over a long period of time. I noticed that after I met some posters our keeping in contact decreased. There was always some part of me that didn?t want to admit they preferred the caricature aspect of me, rather than the real me.

    Whenever there?s a political discussion or a devout Jehovah?s Witness comes to this site I never see more responses in people?s threads that dehumanize. What strikes me about these responses is how many of these writers pay little attention to what other people have to say. Instead, they prefer to deal with a caricature -- someone who belonged to a movement, a conspiracy and was taking orders in the service of some vast, nefarious cause. After the election I received an e-mail from a list serve that suggested that I cut ties with all my republican friends who supported politicians who wanted gay marriage outlawed. I?m in a marriage with a person of the same sex, and?I just couldn?t do it. I have too many sincere friends who disagree with me on political issues. I couldn?t sacrifice my friendships with people who disagree with me on some level. E-mails are the drive-by shootings of the common man. The face of the victim is never seen.

    Its like talk radio. No one is ever merely mistaken. They are ``wrong'' in a moral sort of way -- flawed human beings at best, downright evil at worst. It's all nonsense, of course.

    The reason I started with my mom is that often, like on this board, it is easier to avoid such humanizing touches than to deal with them. It is easier by far to characterize devout Jehovah?s Witnesses from hapless human beings, into (surprisingly) mere celebrities.

    But they usually never make big money, they almost always work very hard, and when they screw up they often get publicly criticized because of it. Sometimes, when things are dark and people are being shunned, or isolated, or dying, they sit before the computer and read what they have done -- and cry. They do, and I know this for a fact.

    The year is ending, and this is my final post of 2004. I have taken my share of potshots and dealt in caricatures -- and I am sorry for that. I still try to keep in mind that people on here are not malicious or evil, but are good people trying to do their jobs.

    I would like to wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year, including my mother, Ruth Dougherty, of Scottsdale, AZ.

    - Preston

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    Just beautiful, Preston. Thank you for that.

    There's a lot to learn in there.

    People on this site somehow get turned into caricatures -- not real people, but virtual cardboard cutouts, complete with labels: liberal, conservative, red, blue, Dub, as if life was one of those TV shows where you have to be one thing or another, never a bit of both.

    Thank you, dear, for reminding me that we're all a 'bit of both'. Every year I learn a bit more about shedding the preconcieved ideas that I get of people because they are/were JW's; this essay is a great boost in the right direction on the continuing path of that journey.

    Wishing you love and peace in the new year...

    essie

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Preston, that is so touching. Reading your post was enlightening as I have often given thought to aspects you mention, that the internet is full of very lonely disturbed indiviuals typing their hearts and souls on a freeboard.

    With the world being as huge as it is, and with the advent of the internet, reducing it to nothing larger than a television screen, the world of cyberspace can seem so antiseptic and overwhelming at the same time, we can hide behind our avitars and spout things for which many have no understanding whatsoever what they are saying. Many will spout their prejudices without having to worry about getting caught, or meeting that very same person down a back street oneday. It's a sad aspect of the nature of the beast.

    On the other hand, some who try their best to use this vehicle as a forum for positive change make great progress. I personally have a voice that can be heard here. I was one not to speak out or up for myself or for anything I believed in.

    Along with the transformation that has been taking place in me over time, from having the scales removed from my eyes regarding life in OZ, I have also been more vocal in real life. I try very hard to interact with my neighbors in my community, something that was always verbodden when under the regime of the WTS. I have socially made great strides and have surprised myself in just how much I can do.

    I cannot speak to the issues of your being gay, but I can say that we all have need of keeping a keen eye on our own individual ghost and skeletons that exist in the closets of everyone, from Prince, to the Pope, to the President. Small and great, we are all just skeletons supported by weakly flesh.

    I've learned very well how not to judge or overly criticize because I have a fleet of container ships loaded with baggage. A history, a questionable past, and it has taught the benefit of learning how to let some things go.

    I hope that this is your last post for the year and not the last past for your life, as I have read several of the things you respond to, and you always stick out in my mind.

    Would I like to know you if we met in real life? , I don't know, but even while being in the truth for the brief moment I was, I found that the brothers who were gay, in their former and even present lives, ( Once a Marine, Always a Marine ) were some of the most honest and truly down to earth people you would ever choose to be with, and though not being gay myself, I could always feel at home in their prescense, where it was often impossible to be myself around the regs.

    I wish you all the best that this life can bring to you.

    Much Respect.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Beautifully said, and so true...thanks for such an obviously well thought-out post.

  • bem
    bem

    ~Preston~

    Thanks for your thoughts. Have a great new year and heres hoping for all the future years to be great also.

  • pratt1
    pratt1

    Great post Preston.

    It takes great maturity to see beyond the human flaws of a person and appreciate the good and value that a person adds/added to your life.

    In many cases I believe that because some of our wounds from the Borg is still fresh our hurt, bitterines and anger is exhibited in our posts.

    Usually over time we are able to derive some benefit we received from even a bad experience that has made us stronger and a better person.

    Your year end post certainly helped put things in presepctive.

    Have a happy new year.

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    Preston:

    I too agree that you have written a beautiful post. And I take it to heart. I too believe that you really never get the full person and who they are and what they are truly like until you meet. Also like you said meeting a few times. I feel that when I write either I make a funny comment to humor life and to turn a negitive to a positive or I say things from my heart.

    I am new here to a point. So I don't know many of these poeple but who I have talked to and e-mailed I feel as if I have known them all my life because they have went through the same things I have.

    And with you being Gay. That's awesome. Not becuse you are Here and Queer(Ellen Show)! But you know who you are and what you want in life as relationship wise. I feel horrible for those who can't live who they are and what they want to be. Its not fair.

    I don't know you but the 20% I do get from posts you write. I think you are a wonderful strong person. Maybe I am wrong. Or maybe you are stronger and more wonderful than what I see.

    I hope you have a great New Years and many many more to come!

    Brooke

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    Going to the Kingdom Hall, you find people you like. Maybe you like the way they dress, they comment well. Perhaps they seem very zealous. But you never really get a chance to get to know them. Because, I don't know about any of you, but your private life has to remain so private, lest someone report you for watching that r rated movie. Or the big thing I have seen is watching Harry Potter kind of movies. THen you would be bad assosiation. Perhaps one might be fortunate enough to find someone they can trust. But more often then not, it's like Desperate Housewives. If we knew all the secrets that they had, would we still think of them the same? I have seen posts on this forum and most everyone seems pretty cool. But I truly don't know you guys. My perception of Preston for instance is like the Preston on that television show.... shoot can't think of it's name... Point being, if I met him face to face, would I still think he's a cool guy? If you met me and thought I looked more like an ugly duckling then a Swan, would you think I was a nerd and my posts silly? (perhaps you do already, just guessing)

    People put up shields and they rarely reveal who they are. Even more when, you're afraid that for one weakness, you might become the class "loser".

    Preston, good for your mom. My mom recently admitted to me, that she was wrong. She should have pushed me more in school so I would have better oppurtunities. It was probably so hard for her to be the "weak" one in the congregation. The reality is, she was one of the, if not The, strongest person.

    I am learning so much from the posts that I read. Learning about things and places and people. My world is grown. Thank you guys for sharing your thoughts on such a great, open forum

    BlackSwan

  • Midget-Sasquatch
    Midget-Sasquatch

    Preston,

    You have the beautiful quality (as I can gather from many of your posts), of screening out the superficial and looking at the inner workings of a person's psyche. Despite my having the EQ of a stone, the bit of sensitivities that I do have, are usually enriched from the perspectives you give in your thoughts and those of others too.

    You've given me a nice thought to reflect on. I almost want to call my Dad ;)

    Happy New Year Preston.

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    Wonderful thread and comments from you Preston

    Your Mom sounds like a very kind, caring person and one that serves God in a way that her conscience dictates, not an organization!!!

    I have enjoyed your posts this year and your chats...You make me smile and laugh!!! Thank you!!!

    You are so right about not really know people by their posts...Some people are better able to express their feelings when writing....Some express themselves better in person. That's what makes life so interesting!!!

    Happy New Year to you !!!

    CodeBlue

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