Richard Scarry's Best Field Service Story--EVER (page 2)

ladonna

Almonds....I will never think of those yummy nuts the same way again. I cannot come up with ANYTHING as funny as that. *Wow* they got their greedy just deserts!!

I was forced to go door to door from very young against my wishes...it was either that or my father's belt. So I teemed up with a girl who had become a good friend. She was a few years older than my "about 14" at the time.

My father supplied me with books, bibles...watchtowers and awakes...you name it.....likewise my friend Debbie's father did the same.

Debbie suggested that we UP the anti....."put up the price of the literature". We sold the lot every Sunday and then filled ourselves up with a weeks worth of pocket money....our fathers' never asked for the money for the books....and only WE knew about the price hike. We also filled in many more hours on our forms than we really did!!!

Very Naughty!!!!!

My friend died 2 years after this from malignant melanoma....she was also being raped by her own brother, so as two abused kids, we were somehow trying to survive. I still miss her.

Ana

hippikon

I always got the “fruit cakes” at the doors –
They guy who wears dresses ( with hairy arms and sailor type tattoos – he used to wear dresses while driving busses)
The Return visits you haven’t seen for weeks but there is a real bad smell
The opera singer who sing at you when they talk
The women who let their dressing gown slip open and invites you inside. (I didn’t go in ……… much)
The geeky gun and war memorabilia collector (Who asks if there are any war stories in the mags)
The born again heroin addict who goes to church to score of his mates
The lady who took her dog for a walk in a stroller.

reagan_oconnor

Most embarrassing...

I peed myself in field service once because a damn sister was taking so long with her return visit. Got all over the back seat of her Holy Mini-Van. That'll teach her to keep it brief!

Oh, yeah...um... I was 14.

"I know you're probably busy, so I'll be brief..." how many times did I actually say that, then ramble on for 10 minutes about the "Kingdom of God?"

Reagan

I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.

LDH

Mr Frumble rocks, But LOWLY WORM rules!!!

LDH

bttt....seems like there's lots of heavy topics on the board right now, thought I would bring this back to cheer you all.

I also wanted to share another funny with you....as you know I grew up in Upstate NY so field service was even LESS fun in the winter. Here are some great 'winter' stories from the mid-80's and early 90's.

One Craig W. was obsessed with his 1980's Tony Lama boots. We had slate floors in the back of the hall and he would make sure you could hear click-clickety-click. Did I mention he was 5'7" in his boots? He had these hilarious metal taps on the bottoms of his boots to save them from wear. Anyhow, we were walking door to door one day and we left a house where a lady was not interested. He stepped off the bottom step onto the ice covered sidewalk and whoosh! His front foot slid about 3 feet out. He was paralyzed with fear, as he was basically doing a split, and was very much off balance. He was able to quickly "pop" to feet without falling--but my god, how I was waiting with baited breath to see that! It was still bloody funny.

One Helen S. (elder's wife) was in our car group, we were working very rural territory--think trailer trash. My sister got out of the car with Helen, and they proceeded to walk toward the door when Helen disappeard from view. I should mention there was a VERY heavy snow. It turns out Helen had been walking on the sidewalk which ended, but the snow had drifted up against it and it looked like it was still there. She dropped down about 6 feet. HYSTERICAL.

So cheer up! We're not going door to door anymore!

Love,

Lisa

jimbob

That almond story had me on the floor rolling!! I would've given anything to see those dubs faces when they found out the man was sucking on them.

Probably the best field service story I can remember is when I was a teen in the early 80's, and a couple of brothers in our car group went to a door where a young woman answered not wearing anything from the waist up. The one brother, from what he told us, was able to go through his entire presentation without losing eye contact. If I remember correctly, she did take the mags. I'm sure those brothers didn't wait 2 weeks to make a return visit. And of course, I can remember thinking to myself....."DAMN, why didn't I get that door???"

Eyebrow2

LDH,

hahahah oh my god I am laughing SOOOO Hard hahaahah!!!

I have a story...not from field service, but poor Helen in the 6 foot snow drift reminded me of it:

(2 stories actually)

My best friend and I were deadheads or neo-deadheads I guess you could say, it was the late 1980s after all not the 60s!

ANYHOO!!! here we are, travelling up to see Jerry Garcia and his electric band in Maine....we are in a very long line of slowly moving cars. We had some garbarge...just apple cores and banana peels..organic stuff...I wanted to get rid of them. Since we were going about 5 miles an hour along one stretch, I decided to hop out and see if I could find a trash can. I didn't see any, but there was an open field and a dirt pile across the road. It looked like a composite heap, so I figured, why not? I ran across the road...and then, according to my friend, I disappeared! I didn't realize there was a ditch between me and the field...and fell straight down. I left the peels and core in the ditch and ran back to the car.

Several years later: my then fiance and I are stranded in Independence, MO (long story ack!). We are walking to a mall about 2 miles away, along side a busy road. It is starting to get dark, it is cold, being early November. We are engrossed in conversation, and WHOOOOMMMPPED!!! I again disappear. My able right foot had found a gopher hole, and down I went, right up to my knee! Hubby laughs now and tells people, I was talking, I heard an AHHH! and turned and she was gone!

It has been several years since that last incident...I am watching my steps very carefully...I think I am due!

Double Edge

almond story .... YUK !

happyout

Miss Honey can't drive worth crap, can she?

And is she married to Bruno or what?

Uncle Gronkle's the best name.

Happyout

willyloman

I just love these "experiences," don't you?

My wife went in FS with someone we'll call "Suzie" and Suzie's two kids.

Suzie was a regular pioneer event though she had two small children to raise. She made time for pioneering the way many dubs do... she learned to ignore the kids!

They were at a door talking with a household. Suzie had a baby in her arms, which she passed over to my wife. Suzie had her bible open and was fully engaged. My wife had the baby and was vaguely aware that the other child, a boy about 4, had disappeared from view; she looked around to see where he went. No sign of him. She was about to excuse herself from the conversation and conduct a search when she noticed the householder's eyes were as big as saucers and she was looking, not at the open bible Suzie was holding up to her, but off toward the side of the house where... you guessed it, the little boy was peeing on her roses.

Richard Scarry's Best Field Service Story--EVER

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