(((Purza)))
check these out:
From the Desk of the Principal?Breaking Teens? Bad Habits ? Dr. Phil Style
Set clear boundaries. Establish clear boundaries that cannot be crossed and then stick to them. If you tell your teen that he will be punished if he breaks his curfew, be sure to live up to it.
Plug into your teen?s life. Be aware of who your teenager is hanging out with, monitor her progress in school and notice any changes in her behavior that could be related to drug or alcohol use.
Negotiate. Sit down with your teen and negotiate a clear set of rules and regulations that are realistic and that you can both live up to. (Maybe use chauffeuring services as a negotiating tool.)
Discuss, don?t scream. Aggressive behavior is easy to tune out. Speak to your teen like he?s an adult and he may act like one.
Forget ?cool.? Your job as a parent is not to be a cool friend, but to set up boundaries in which your teen can comfortably grow.
Reward your teen for positive behavior- Being a troubled teen is not a lifetime sentence. When your teen makes the effort to break a negative pattern of behavior, be sure to acknowledge the change by giving him more freedom and showing him that it is possible to rebuild trust. This positive reinforcement will encourage him to keep up the good work.
These suggestions sound like very good advice! Raising a teenager while maintaining the right amount of effective control over their actions is an awesome responsibility. Until they grow up you won?t even know how successfully you are managing your role as an effective parent. At school, we issue report cards. Each quarter to let you know how successful the student-teacher relationship is. As a parent, you don?t receive a report
card indicating how you and your teen are relating to each other. If you can read Dr. Phil?s six tips and recognize that you are doing most of them, or if you can recognize an area in which you can improve your relationship with your teen, then you get an A+ for excellent parental efforts. Keep up the good work, and we highly recommend that you keep repeating, ?Being a troubled teen is not a lifetime sentence? as often as needed.
***don't back off. she needs (and wants) your restrictions and boundaries more now than ever. she's trying to assert her independence, but at the same time, maybe this is her way of asking for more of you. i wouldn't fret too much about her not being organized like you - maybe that doesn't suit her personality ... the important thing is that she listens to your concerns and makes even small changes in a more postive direction. maybe you can take her to target and let her pick out some cute things for her room... they have lots of cute storage boxes and cd holders, etc. and if she gets to have control over that part of her room, she might be more apt to keep it looking nice.
best wishes