I'm starting to think the Witness with never give up on me-HELP (page 2)

Quotes

RHCP, sounds like you are caught between a rock and a hard place:

"...because I don't want to lose my Mom and sister but I'm really starting to get fed up. "

You can't tell them to "shove it" because you would lose your family.

Blondie's advice is great (as usual). Keep playing the weak/sick card and if necessary get a bit more forceful asking them to PHONE before DROPPING IN.... then you just have to screen your calls.

Question is: how long can you play this game? A radical solution might be to move to a different congregation (and hope the new one is not as diligent in "caring for lost sheep". Along that line, you could move "accross country" and have your publisher cards forwarded, only give a fake address (e.g. a friend's address) as the new cong's PO address. Then your publisher record cards are out of the system. At that point, they will never bother you again. A radical, step, true; but it can work.

~Quotes, of the "Incognito and Incommunicado" class

Cygnus

Funny. Neither the elders nor anybody else bothered my baptised brother and sister when they quit going to meetings, celebrated all sorts of pagan stuff, and married into other faiths. Guess they just got lucky.

garybuss

Sorry redhot, It sounds like your mom and sister are the problem, not the Witnesses. The Witnesses are easy to deal with. Meet them at the door with a copy of Crisis Of Conscious and I can almost guarantee you they will quit bothering you.

Guess I finally had to get honest with myself and live my life the way that agrees with me and if mom and sis shun me, I am done with them. That's their personal decision. I went to my parents and my brother and was honest with them and my brother told me I represented everything in the world he hates and my mother told me she wished she had put me in a foster home. Two of my sons decided to shun me.

Now I have the worst over and I can put together a life I enjoy without them. Those who shun me are not people I care to fret about. I have too many people who like me and I enjoy being around. It's too bad I was born into a Witness infected family but I was and It's my job to make a safe fun life in spite of that fact.

I hope it all works out in a way that lets you live long and happy. GaryB

The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

sandy

redhot, when i stopped going to meetings the elders bothered me contantly for a good six months. then it was about once evey two months or so for the next year or so. they finally gave up.

I would screen my calls and if i did answer I would say I was really busy or on my way out and that I would call them back later. Of course I never did.

now, if they want to talk to me they go through my family and ask them to ask me. I just say thanks, I'll think about it and never bring it up again.

If I had to do it all over again I would simply say: "Please do not bother me I will come back when I am ready".... then hang up the phone.

redhotchilipepper

Thanks for all your very sound advice. Aviashi you are just a prevert! As usual! I guess its hard for me because I don't like to be rude to people. The people who are calling on me were once my friends and I did care for them. They tried to help us and especially myself with my depression. We are just taking different paths in life. I just wish that they could see it that way but we all know that JW's are programmed to think that, when you leave you are just Worldly and bad. Not, that you have a mind of your own and can think freely. I guess that is the really hard part for me. I can never really have a true relationship with my Mom and sister because of their programmed thinking. I can't speak my mind freely and tell them how I really feel about things such as politics, religion, day to day events. Creation vs Evolution. etc, etc. Our conversations are quite mundane, really! I find I am distancing myself from them more and more every day because we just don't have very much in common anymore. Have any of you found this with your own family or witness friends, that you may have kept in contact with after leaving the truth? Sorry if my spelling and punctuation is bad I am kind of tired!

Elsewhere

Just keep smiling and say: Oh, I'm fine... I appreciate your concern but I'm just fine.

codeblue

Hey there...calm down...They just "love you"...

sorry.....well at least you are getting calls.........

but I understand ..not the calls you want....

don't answer your door or your phone (unless it is me...an unlisted number)...ok

hang in there...

CodeBlue

Alwayshere

Redhotchilipepper, I am in the same boat as you. I am not DF and if it wasn't for my Kids and grandkids I wouldn't care if I was. The Elders kept calling me wanting to come out and they did once and called a couple more times so I finally told them I wasn't bothering anyone and I didn't want to be bothered and if I wanted to talk to them I would call them. It has been about 5 months and I haven't heard from them anymore. My kids speak and they let my grandkids come to see me so that is better than nothing. Just hoping someday I can have a chance to talk to my kids with out involving the Elders.I know I can't bring anything up for a long time. Hoping the Society makes another prediction that fails again and that might be a start.

cyber-sista

Wow, I haven't seen hide nor hair of them around here in a long time. It's been since memorial time since I've seen an elder and the KH is really close to my house. All my old friends have dropped me like a hot potato and I don't get any emails or phone calls either. Sometimes I think this is a bit sad--like was I ever loved by these people at all? After reading your post maybe I am glad they leave me alone. Maybe you should just tell them you want some space right now and it would be best not to talk. Or if you are reallly going crazy think of something to say to make them leave you alone.. Maybe I just want to be left alone. Or you could say there are things about the Org that is really bothering your conscience these days and then drop a bomb or two on them about the UN, silent lambs, broken families, hatred displayed towards anything or anyone who is not JW...pick one or two and toss it to them--that will probably send them scattering. Sorry you have to have this hanging over you. I am also protecting my relationship with some family in there, but they are not talking to me now either (for the simple reason that I am not attending the meetings anymore). I may just give it up one day and say what I need to say and get it over with. It depends on the situation. Do what you think is best or just let the cards fall as they will...that is all you can do.

The best to you,

cybs

Granny Linda

Hey, Red. Merry Christmas

I'm more in agreement with Shamus comments, but most certainly understand why it is many take a different route. It is about family. And that's where the Jw suck big time. I really don't think they have a clue about love...unconditional or not. The whole concept sorta eludes them.

I just mentioned in another post about this "not having anything in common" with my JW family. In particular I was thinking of my mom, but the same holds true with any of them. Their mindset is geared one way...their way. Or, perhaps its more like, the Borg way.

When any of us tire of playing the game by their rules only...whatever is needed in your life I'd venture too say will happen. Life just sorta works that way.

Try not to let the bast$rds get you down.

Cheers

GL

I'm starting to think the Witness with never give up on me-HELP

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