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whyamihere

Hi, I am somewhat new here although my feelings about the JW's haven't been.

Anyway, I am doing the fade thing right now along with my husband. Everything was going fine I have not gone to a meeting in 5 months now(I think) and prior to that I was barely going I guess you could say every now and then. However, going every now and, then I was going back and forth with my feelings. I would say to myself its the truth and then go right back to if its the truth then why does all of these horrible things happen.

It was 6 months ago I was having questions were I did not agree with shunning among many other things. And myself righteous sister who is trying to save me told me and I still can't believe I fell for it she said its Jehovah sheding light on us. And thats why things change because we don't know everything all at once and then new information is given to us little by little. At that time my parents were spliting up things were changing so fast and I am still depressed about alot of things. I think I give in way too much. I am not strong enough sometimes to think for myself. I was never taught to think for myself I just went along with everything. I think some of you know what I mean.

Anyway last night my sister called me for no reason as she always does because she thinks I like her. And we were talking about our kids nothing serious and then all of a sudden she says so "Are you guys going to go to meetings?" and I didn't know what to say I mean she intimidates me like you have no idea. And I played it off and said I don't know. I tried to changed the subject and she then said "Well?" And, went on about how she is scared for me and, that she wants my kids to know Jehovah and, the meetings. I told her my kids will know about Jehovah and, I will teach them that. She then said "Well I don't want you to get mad at me if I ever ask if Lily (my daughter) would ever like to go with her to a meeting." I said I would get mad. However, when I told my husband this I said to him that I will never ever let my kids go in to that place with out I being there to protect them. And to that answer I am not going to go anymore.

I need help in what to say I am not that educated with the whole witness thing(however I am intelligent) I just went along with everything I didn't pay attention to everything maybe thats why I stayed in it so long. I guess I am just looking for advice on what to say. I get all chocked up and I just say "I don't know." I don't want them to think I am stupid and Satan has gotten me in his trap. If thats true Satan is a nice loving person because since I have not gone I feel better and things are going alot better with my marriage and my relationship with my in-laws whom have left a few years ago.

I just need help on what to say and information on why the Jehovah's Witnesses are wrong and I am right on my thinking.

Thank you to all who help me and support me!

Brooke WI

JustTickledPink

The thing is you are their parent, you have the right to make choices on their behalf. If they are allowed to go alone, what will they be told? That you as their mother is going to get "destroyed at armeggedon?" or how sinful they are?

I am sick of the guilt and shame and fear that the JWs teach and preach. It's time kids grew up acting and feeling like kids instead of shamed and guilty people.

I applaud you and your efforts and you don't really need to defend your beliefs or choices because they don't have the authority to question your parenting. Pretty much, NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!

JamesThomas

Dear Brooke,

It's easy to get lost in our mind and drown in confusion. There are many here on the forum who are very good at helping folks with information on scriptures and on what to think or say. However, what I am going to suggest may be a little different.

First, stop worrying about what others may think of you, and realize you don't owe anyone any explanations about anything. Be kind and gentle with yourself and allow the fog of frustration to dissipate. Give yourself some time to discover silent wisdom within yourself that you may not have noticed before. In other words, take yourself out of the intellectual arena of thoughts and beliefs, and make frequent visits to the warmly intimate and unspeaking senses of being and existing. Discover what it is to be alive (not the grand drama and story about life and it's situations, but rather what is it to just simply BE).

Taking some unhurried time out into nature can be very conducive to inner discovery. There comes a time when we need to give attention to becoming more clear about who and what we deeply are, and not worry or be concerned so much about beliefs, thoughts and concepts. You will find that when you are clear within, much becomes easier.

j

jt stumbler

RIGHT ON JUSTICKLED..RIGHT ON

Gill

Listen to JamesThomas! He's talking serious sense.

Be calm and take your time. There's nothing to fear once you're out of the JW net.

Happy Guy :)

I just need help on what to say and information on why the Jehovah's Witnesses are wrong and I am right on my thinking.

I am not quite sure why you feel that you are required to justify your feelings to your sister (or anyone else for that matter). Why must you prove to someone else that they are wrong and you are right? You would be engaging in a control battle. Why bother aggravating yourself?

Are you sure this is not something more like a desire to free your sister from the cult? If that is the case then a successful approach might very well be different from the one you are suggesting i.e. throwing information at her out of a defensive posture only when confronted by her.

Bubbamar

Congrats to you for protecting your children from the destructive mind control cult knows as the WBTS!!

If what you want is information I would encourage you to read the "Best Of" Threads on this discussion forum as well as Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom by Ray Franz - He was once on the Governing Body - they're both very good sources of information on why the JW's are BAD news.

Good luck to you in your search. It took me a while to absorb all this information - so go easy on yourself.

And also, no matter what you say, if you're not going to meetings, they will say SAtan has you. So don't bother. If you tell your sister your real concerns she may label you an apostate and get you DF'ed. So please be careful so that you can continue the fade.

Best to you

kwintestal

I really can't give you any advice that others haven't already given you. I would like to wish you luck though in how you go about dealing with the situation.

Please remember that you can expect your sister to be upset and to not understand your decision, but it is YOUR decision, and you must let her know that guilt trips won't change your mind.

Kwin

what_Truth?

If your sister asks you anything else about JW's just tell her that your spirituality is a private matter that you don't want to discuss.

whyamihere

Thank you everyone! I needed that. I know I should not worry about what people think or say but my sister is in your face crazy and will turn everyone against me. Funny thing though she has always been like that. I never knew why or what I have done to make her act like that towards me. Oh Well!

James Thomas: In the manner you speak is beautiful. So kind warm and loving people like you make the world a better place. Just how you speak I know you must be a wonderful caring person and I am lucky enough to have a brief meeting with you.

I will take my time and yes what I do in my life is my personal business. I never thought of telling her that but I will try it out the next time. Thank you all so much and I need to get those books and read them. I have been reading this book called Them and Us(I think that is what its called). My mother-in-law gave it to me to read. Nothing to do with JW's but cults. However you can see alot of it is based on how the JW"s teach and act. I will get the Ray books. I think it will help me understand I am ok and a good person.

I guess that is my main thing I second guess myself. I hope I do what is right but I guess that's what we all do in life I will try and make the best of it. My main thing is my kids. I will not let anyone hurt them and by me saying that I won't take in to the Kingdom hall. I love my kids why would I do that?

Brooke WI

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