by Chasity 45 Replies latest jw friends
This article has been atributed to Ray Franz and since it seems so balanced not the usual sound of whips that could well be
If I remember correctly, Ray himself mentioned he wrote the article under the "Disfellowshipping" chapter in one of his books.
XQ, You've been saying it was an 88' article....don't act like you knew different. You also didn't clarify it was old light and made it sound as though it was a current understanding........as usual, you were off base.
Gumby
How is 2002 old FREAKING LIGHT! Can't you guys slow down and read? I give up! I am not going to highlight all the quotes in the km for you guys I have done that too many times on this board.
Oh.....say it isn't so.......say it isn't so!!!!!
Gumby
Just in case anyone is curious what the '88 article said, here it is:
w88 4/15 28 13 Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children. Respect for God?s judgments and the congregation?s action will move the wife and children to recognize that by his course, he altered the spiritual bond that existed between them. Yet, since his being disfellowshipped does not end their blood ties or marriage relationship, normal family affections and dealings can continue.14
The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man."?1 Corinthians 5:11.
The reader can determine for themselves whether or not XQs' characterization of the article is correct.
Oh, and Swan... I completely agree with this as well:
However, I would not let them preach to me. Tell them it is unacceptably rude to preach to your hostess. And if they cold shoulder me in my own home, I would tell them I expected much better behavior from guests, and that they will need to find other accommodations. So give them the benefit of the doubt, but don't let them abuse you.Well said.
Here is what you said XQ,
more like old light that has finally sunk in. the change was in 1988. they said normal family affections could continue. it seems to be taking almost 15 years before people are doing so.
The author of this wanted to know why her sister who is a JW and doesn't live in the home, would come to stay with her since she is disfellowshipped. Your statement made it sound as though this was acceptable now since 1988. Again I ask.....where do you come up with this shit.....then wonder why nobody responds? Gumby
From my experience it is common for JW's to associate with their df relatives. Where I come from it has always been viewed as (and we were always taught that it was) a 'conscience matter', in the congregation I grew up in there are a number of elders with df kids who they still hang out with freely, likewise that is the case within my own family.
Hello,
I am the original Chasity. I lost my password and don't even remember the e-mail address I used. So anyway I am back. I apologise for not updating more sooner. I decided to let my sister and her husband stay with us. I told them before they came no shunning. I would not feel unwelcome in my own home. It turned out to be quite a visit. It turns out their reason for coming was more than a vacation. They wanted to move to my area because the ecomony is good and hoped that I could help them out. My brother was like I told you so. I don't know why but I asked my husband to use some of his contacts and help my brother in law find a job.
So not only did I help them find jobs I gave them a place to live. My husband and I just bought a new house and we planned to keep our old one as an investment and lease it. We let them live in it 2 months free so they could get on their feet. The mortage on the house is $1200 a month so for a time we were paying 2 morgages (more on that later). Fortunately my husband is successful so we could afford it. We could have rent the house for $1500 but we let them rent for $1200.
I never did have any false illusions about being one big happy family and knew our contact would be minimal because I am df'd. Still I was happy I could help them.
Things were actually okay for a few months. Then the trouble started. My brother inlaw was fired from his job. He said it was a layoff but we found out that he was not dependable and always late. He's an elder by the way. This really pissed my husband off because he recommended him and that made him look bad where his friend was concerned.
So they could not afford to pay the rent. I told them they had to leave. I even helped them find an apartment but the only place they could afford was on the bad side of town. My sister cried and cried saying that she did not want to live in a bad neighborhood. I told her I was sorry but her husband burned his bridges with my husband and he will not help him anymore. I told her I was not going to risk my marriage so she did not have to live on the bad side of town.
She called me a couple of days later and said that Jehovah had provided and they would be able to pay the rent. I was like great. I found out later on how they were able to pay the rent. They rented out 3 of the bedrooms to fellow witnesses who were paying them rent. I was not happy with the plan but I was like whatever. As long as they pay the rent. That will keep my husband happy.
They charged the witnesses $400 rent and well they did not have to chip in any themselves. I guess all they paid for was the utilities.
The Home Owners Association started writing us letters telling us that they were not following the rules. Anyone who lives in a HOA knows what a pain in the butt they can be. They were parking in the street and the back yard was in terrible shape. Some of the neighbors complained that an ulgy view it was from their second story view. They would have pool parties at the club house and only 4 guests per house could come and swim according to the HOA rules. They invited like 20 people. They told us they would start fining us for every infraction.
I was like oh dear. I told my sister and her husband I had it. They had to go. I did not care if she could pay the rent now or not. I had it. It soon became apparent they had no intention of leaving. My husband went to his lawyer and he drew up the papers and had them evicted. They had 30 days to move. When that time came I am not kidding you we had to have the police escort them out. Their houseguests had already left.
Let me tell you this was one of the most miserable experiences. I am so pissed off by their attutide and taking advantage of me I am suing them for all their back rent. I had my sister served at her work. They are still in my city. I don't know where I don't care.
If it was not bad enough how they treated me you would not believe who they asked for money to help them out. My brother who they have not spoken to in years and consider an apostate. He laughed over the phone and told them he knew what they did to me and called them worthless freeloading leaches. Then he hung up.
My mom called me on the phone and we have not talked in years either. She chewed me out for having them evicted. I was so upset I could not stop crying. My husband took the phone and told her all the things they did and how much trouble they caused us. How we did nothing but show kindness to them and all they did was take, take, take and take some more. He told her that no active JW would ever be welcome in his house, only apostates and that she was to never call our house again unless she left her cult then hung up.
We are now back to leading our lives without my toxic JW family. I just wanted to post my experience that sometimes it really is a blessing not having them in your lives. I know this does not apply to everyone but in my case it does. Just think twice before you allow your JW family to come for a visit.
I forgot to add one thing. They left the house in terrible shape. The walls were dirty and the carpet was completely ruined. We had to replace all the carpet and repaint the whole house. Some of the celing fans were broken and the sliding glass door was broken. We had to hire a landscaper to come and fix the backyard. Their were holes all over the yard and shit all over the place from a pet dog that one of the witnesses had. In one of the bedrooms a showerhead was gone. Most of the damages are included in my lawsuit.
that km article from 2002 makes me physically sick.
i stood up and read that para by para on the review night! my, i have changed.
i new then it was sickening, only taking action now.
j
Welcome to the board!!
-Becka :)
