Hell no it does no good to complain....but that doesn't lessen the pain.
Actually, complaining tends to make the pain worse. Have you ever had a bruise or cut that really hurt and then were totally distracted by something else. You probably didn't even feel the pain when your mind was distracted. The same thing is true with emotional pain. Our emotions follow our thoughts and our actions. Complain, think about the past, talk to others about how "sorry" your condition is and you will feel more pain. I'm not talking about grieveing in the intitial stages of experiencing a loss, I'm talking about the point in our lives when it's years later. So, in actual fact, not complaining will lessen the pain. If you say it does no good to complain, why are you complaining?
Some grieve for 40 years and some for 2 years....everyones different. To expect all and everyone to 'get on with it' is narrow thinking I'm afraid.
I get on with it the best I can, but emotions are emotions and they don't lie.
First off, I absolutely acknowledge that there is a "grieveing process" in any loss which is equal to the loss we experience. It's normal, healthy and necessary to do so. Nevertheless, any good psychologist will tell you that to go overboard and live in the past is not healthy after a while. Take the case of people who lose their mates. I've seen some who, when faced with the death of their loved one, end up in the grave not long after their wife/husband dies. I've seen others who, after some time to heal, are able to get on with life, acknowledge their loss occassionally, and go forward. Which would you rather be?
We can control our emotions as long as we are not in a clinically neurotic or psychotic state. Emotions tend to follow our thinking and language, both internal and external. Do emotions lie? I don't know. I do know they are not always a very reliable guide. I also know that they can be nudged in a positive direction through our efforts. Do you want to give that effort, gumby?