Oh my gawd!!! There is a gawd!!!

by Elsewhere 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Badger

    Butt paper as proof of the Divine...I'm sure He's flattered.

  • Country_Woman

    you know, you never are too old to learn.

  • Special K
    Special K

    And I see they make it in "giant rolls" .. wow.


  • darkuncle29

    Was it like swearing in French?

  • Elsewhere
    Was it like swearing in French?

    OMG... if not better! ArrowStar, you know I don't take those anymore... since I figured out that they were really mind control devices used by aliens!

  • czarofmischief

    Ha! Proof of a benevolent creator lies in Elsewhere's arse! Soon, the faithful will be making pilgramages to vouchsafe their pleas before the Holy Arse Hole, and to hear the wisdom from within. Scientists will poke and prod and come away mystified by the Sacred Holey of Holeys.

    But it won't weep blood, anymore... har har har...


  • ohiocowboy

    I will def. have to try that. For some reason, whenever I use Angel Soft, I feel like Jehovah is going to deal me a Death Wipe... A very sacreligious T.P...

  • Valis

    Eh when i was in the UK at Eman's house his toilet paper's slogan was "Love Your Bum"...*LOL*


    District overbeer

  • Elsewhere

    For many years I have been on a quest for the perfect toilet paper. What can I say, I'm a sensitive guy.

    Several years ago I had a butt-load of hemorrhoids surgically removed. When I say butt-load, I'm not kidding... there are three basic types of hemorrhoid and I had quite a few of all of them. It took me three weeks before I could return to work and a month and a half of sitting on an inflatable donut catching hell from my co-workers. What did this teach me? Vicodin is your only true friend!

    Because of all of that, I am obsessed with butt-comfort, and I think I have found the Holy Grail in that new toilet paper!

    There is another story that I can relate, but I will save it for another day... it involves my first bowel movement after the hemorrhoid surgery. Ever sense I experience that I get very irritated when women go on about giving birth... don't give me that beotch... let me tell you about REAL pain!!!

  • undercover

    When the first McDonald's opened in the old USSR, the people in Moscow were ecstatic. As one patron put it after buying a cheeseburger: "Not only do you get a hot meal, you get the toilet paper to use afterwards."

Share this