Did you ever report yourself to the elders for wrongdoing?

by booker-t 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • booker-t

    I remember when I got baptized in 1983 I tried to forget about a sexual encounter that I had had while I was going over my baptismal questions. The night that I was going to confess all to the elders a friend of mine in the same congregation was "reproved" for conduct unbecoming of a Christian. Before the reproof was read the elders gave a 20 min talk on premarital sex that was going on in the congregations. And that anybody caught will be disfellowshipped or reproved. My mouth literally dropped to the floor because I felt that my friend had snitched on me. I told him about my encounter and swore him to secrecy. I was trembling all over and a nervous wreck. I was wondering what should I do tell the elders or just keep quiet. Since I was newly baptized I was wondering if my baptism would become invalid due to the sexual encounter. Finally the elders called me in the back of the kingdom hall and said that they wanted to meet with me. I just knew my friend had snitched on me by now. When I met with the elders I could not believe how cruel they were to me. The were asking me all kinds of questions about the sex. Did I like it? Was it the first time? Was the girl another JW? I admitted everything to them and asked them when did my friend rat on me before his reproof or after his reproof. To my suprise the elders informed me that my friend did not tell them what I had did it was my own mother that reported me to the elders. Apparently she overheard a telephone conversation I had with my girlfriend and ran to the elders. I could not believe me mom would not have come to me first but ran to the elders. The elders put me on "private reproof" and had another talk on the subject of premarital sex and the young ones. They never mentioned my name like they did my friend I think because I was not baptized at the time of the affair. They did tell me that they would publicly reprove me if it happened again. I moved out of my mom's home and got my own apartment and went buck wild. Parties, sex, everything I had always wanted to do but couldn't. That was 20 years ago and I am now DA'ed and feel that I made the best decision of my life. But as I asked in the title Have anyone out there reported yourself to the elders or kept quiet.

  • WildHorses

    Yep, I did and it got me df'd. Dummy that I am. I went back for more and then woke up after being reinstated.

  • JH

    I believe that you can pray to God and ask his forgiveness, instead of passing through the unforgiving elders.

  • mkr32208

    This is my wonderful experience with people reporting themselves the dipsh!t that molested me when I was a kid ran to the elders after the act and claimed that he had to confess that several of the young ones had forced him to have sexual encounters with them... We (there were maybe 6 or 8 total) were all taking in for judicial meetings and asked why we would make this guy do stuff like that! We were made to feel guilty and all FORCED to say we were guilty and it was our fault... Did I mention that I was in 3rd grade and this guy was like 20? The oldest kid was maybe 15, or 16 this jack a$$ was at least 20 maybe 21... Thats the last time I EVER "confessed" to anything. You got 25 witnesses... never did it don't know any of these witnesses. You got video? Thats my evil twin thats not me. You have photos? Thats an Evil Clone, I was in Tibet when that happened, I have recipts for my Yak rental.

    I confess to nothing, ever, to anyone. (I'm in law enforcement and I've got to tell you thats a good policy all around) never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER confess to anything at any time for any reason no matter how good the case against you is!!! Lie deny, lie deny, lie deny! Never did it wasn't there don't know any of these people was an evil twin/clone/dopleganger/body snatcher/shape shifter demon what ever it takes it wasn't me! Hell to hear me tell it I've never left my house... on second thought what house!

  • BrendaCloutier

    No. Never had anything I felt necessary to confess. My dad was an elder, so as an elder's daughter I was held to a much higher standard, by my parents, and by the congregation, than the average JW kid. I also new enough to know that I never wanted to go to the "back room", so I kept my nose clean.

    One time, when I was a teenager, my mom told me that "everything I did and said reflected on my dad in the congregation". Damn, that's a tough thing for a kid to have to carry.

    Unfortunatly, it also fed a bit of the usual superiority complex elder and minister kids develop. But I got over that quickly enough when I moved to a new congregation when I got married.



  • freedom96

    No, I never reported myself. Whatever I did or didn't do I felt was between me and God.

  • blondie

    Pearls before swine.

  • Mary
    When I met with the elders I could not believe how cruel they were to me. The were asking me all kinds of questions about the sex. Did I like it? Was it the first time? Was the girl another JW?

    That's got to be the dumbest question in history: did you enjoy sex? "uh, no asshole, getting laid was the most horrible experience of my life and I'll never do it again." The elders probably had a circle jerk afterwards. Rotten pigs.

    If God didn't want anyone to have sex outside of marriage, then perhaps we should'nt have been created with the desire so strongly built in us at such a young age. Isn't a guy supposed to be at his sexual peak at the age of 18? Seeing as you're not mentally or emotionally ready for marriage at that age, I think it's ridiculous to expect an 18 year old guy to suppress all their "sexual desires" for several years until he's married.

  • vitty

    I knew someone who got DFS about 14years ago as a teenager, then decided to come back, a couple of years ago and told the elders about what everybody did, some people got DFS or public reproof , after all those years cos they hadnt confessed. These people were now married with kids!!!!!

    They had been up to usual teenage stuff, going to nightclubs, smoking dope, sex.

    I dont know why they dont install the good old confession box and have done with it, at least with the catholics its anonymous

    I never confessed to anything that was nobodys business I also dicouraged my kids to.

    I would always pray about it and if I had a guilty concience I just prayed a bit more.

  • iiz2cool
    The elders probably had a circle jerk afterwards.

    That's probably the whole reason they ask all the detailed questions.

    I reported myself once for smoking, but I did it after I discovered that they already knew and were planning to discuss it with me. I wasn't df'd or anything. I told them it was a one time lapse and it was left at that.


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