Am I being totally unreasonable here?

by Princess 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon

    Maybe I'm missing something here.

    Are those the answers that he gave? If so it seems that there is a mix of capitalised and non-capitalised words so it would appear that he knew that some had to be and some didn't (ie. it was a requirement of the test) ... he just got them wrong. Saying he's in "a school for smart kids" and then complaining that he got the test wrong seems a bit silly to me.

    Just accept that he did badly on a test and move on - there are bound to be others.

  • Mulan

    Simon, that was just one example of what is going on there. There are more.

  • kgfreeperson

    I was what is known in the trade as an overinvolved mother, so you can take this with as much salt as you think necessary. You say Rhys is unhappy at school. Rhys needs to be happy at school. Everything you can do to help him figure out what he wants and then to help him to do it will pay off in the long run. If he wants to stay where he is, help him think about what he needs to do to be happy there. If he wants to go somewhere else, help him think about what he expects will be different in the new place and how he might deal with the stuff he won't like. Challenge is a huge issue for some kids and less for others. I can't imagine your area doesn't have lots and lots of "enrichment" possibilities that would make it possible to look at school as the place for social development where home and outside programs are for intellectual development. School is so much about living up to others' expectations (the ubiquitous and oh so important "they") and kids and parents can get sucked into that and really hurt. If nothing else, help Rhys figure out how to keep his teacher's inadequacies from hurting him. (It took me forever to learn, for example, what "don't take it personally" meant and even longer to learn to not take it personally!)

  • Wild_Thing

    On the homeschooling issue ...

    I was homeschooled for grades 4-6 and then my entire high school. My parents jumped on the home school wagon when it first became so popular for witnesses (and legal).

    I will grovel on my knees if you promise not to homeschool the kid! (I know you already said you will not, but in case you change your mind ... my knees are ready!) I missed out on soooo much! The only good thing that came out of it was that I finished when I was 16 and was able to start college. (Long story as to how I was able to do that!) I was so isolated from people who were different from me (non JW), but even if you are not JW, I think it is isolating.

    Public schools also have activities and programs that kids can get involved in, especially at the Junior High and High School level that home schooled kids will never get a chance to experience. Homeschooling is also a strain on the family, and it takes a lot of discipline to follow through. My older sister was homeschooled along with me and she never did finish, and I know more than a handful of witnesses who also never finished.

    I know this was all experienced while being a witness, but so much of it is still true no matter what. Unless the public school is unfit or dangerous, please don't homeschool your kids!

  • Princess
    Maybe I'm missing something here.

    That would be my guess. I thought it was pretty damn impressive that a second grader can spell those words...the capitalization errors seemed petty on a spelling test. Zoe is in a first/second grade split class and I've seen the spelling words the teacher gives the second grade. I could have him shout the spelling from the other room right now. You never have anything nice to say to me so how about we keep clear of each others threads?

    Wild Thing, believe me...I won't be home schooling Rhys.

    Ms Pantz, thanks for your input. Rhys is young and wants to be where it feels good right now. He misses his old school and friends and the new school is a big adjustment. I hate the fact that once we take him's over and he can't go back. If we do decide, it won't be because of a stupid spelling test. There are other issues. The skipping a grade thing really wouldn't be that big of a deal. His birthday is September 15 so he was two weeks past the cut off to start kindergarten and we didn't push it. He would literally be two weeks younger than some of the kids. His size wouldn't be a problem either. We will most likely keep him where he is. It's kind of early to pull the plug on the program, we would really take some time to consider all the options first.

    I don't agree with mom that he's bored because the work isn't challenging. I think if he's bored it's because the work isn't interesting to him and he resents the rigid environment. He was in a Montessori school for three years and his first grade teacher was very permissive with him. Now he has a humorless teacher who insists on a rigid schedule and god help you if you speak out of turn or do anything else she hasn't put on the agenda for the day. He lashes out at structure and needs to learn to be more adaptive to it. It won't get better as he gets older.

    Like I said earlier, I was just curious how people would score the test. How would you expect it to be scored if it were your child's test? That's all I was going for and it morphed into something completely different. I really appreciate the experiences of teachers who have commented and others like Kitties and Stinky Pantz who were in the program as kids. I do consider what you have to say. I had no intention of confronting the teacher on this issue. Now that I know what her policy is, I will drill it into Rhys' head that he needs to be aware of capitalization. If I confront the teacher, it will be for other issues that are present. I also volunteer in the classroom so she knows I'm not a parent who will go away.

  • Mulan
    I don't agree with mom that he's bored because the work isn't challenging. I think if he's bored it's because the work isn't interesting to him and he resents the rigid environment.

    Very well put. I not being interesting is more likely the situation, all right. He has told me he is bored at school. That is not necessarily a negative about the teacher. I was often bored in school, because the subject was not my favorite. I hated science and was terribly bored. Now, I like science.

  • wasasister

    If I may go a bit off topic:

    Rhys is an interesting name. Can you tell me the origin? FYI, there is a pricey boutique dentist in downtown Seattle (in the Columbia Tower) with that same name. I had never heard it before.

    check out:

  • Mulan

    It's a Welsh name. Rachel must have the meaning. I can't remember.

    It is pronounced "Reese"

  • Xena

    They take off for capitalization on B's spelling tests too I think it makes her more aware of what and when words should be capitalized, although you would think that might be better taught in essay form rather than on a "spelling" test, eh?

  • Princess

    Rhys means "ardent". I wonder if it's the same dentist that used to be in Ballard. Not a common name so might be...I think he pronounces his name Rize. We prefer the more correct "Reece". While it's getting to be more common, Rhys isn't used much here in the US. When it is, it's spelled Reese. People look at me like I'm nuts when I spell it. I always assure them we didn't make it up but rather chose the Welsh spelling. We had several options, the American Reese, or the English Rees, or the Swedish goes on and on.

    Yeah X, I'd prefer they worry about capitalization on an essay or some sort of sentence writing exercise. When I was putting Rhys to bed tonight I asked him what he needed to concentrate on for his next spelling test. He said "my capitalization". I doubt he'll ever miss a word for that reason again, so the lesson was learned.

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