Am I being totally unreasonable here?

by Princess 54 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Scully

  ((( Princess & Rhys )))

  If the school is so terrible, is there a chance that Rhys could be placed in the same school as Zoe, but in grade 3 instead of grade 2? Or maybe the school has split classes (2/3) like they do here, so that the brighter grade 2 kids can remain with their peer group, but also get a chance to try more advanced lessons too?

  Before our daughter was diagnosed with her learning disability, we had so much frustration with the school system as well - we couldn't figure out why she was doing so poorly, despite all the hard work we were all putting in to help her. She wasn't identified as having her LD until she was in grade 5. Once we knew what was happening, the sense of relief was amazing, and we just had to find the learning style that worked best for her to see a marked improvement in her school work.

  Do you have any opportunities to discuss your perception of the school as a depressing environment with other parents? Chances are that they have noticed that atmosphere too. The best way to change it is to talk about it and gather support from other parents. It could be an administrative thing where the teachers are feeling demoralized for various reasons or are simply getting jaded with their careers.

  Just a thought.... fwiw.

  Love, Scully
• 

  codeblue

  I ditto what Scully said

  Have you ever thought about home schooling your kids? Maybe you and your children would be happier with that experience.
• 

  Princess

  I am a teacher, and I have to side with the kid's teacher. I do the exact same thing. I have told them what my expectations are, though. I also mark off for capitalization and forming the letters wrong (they have to write them in cursive.) It may seem nit-picky, but some kids have a hard time remembering that some words should be capitalized all the time, and some words are never capitalized except at the beginning of a sentence (or in titles). Maybe you should make sure that the teacher is letting the kids know what the expectations are for the spelling tests. If not, then THAT is not fair.

  I was hoping a teacher would reply. Thanks, that's good to know. Shoshana. Good information, thank you for your post. I already told Rhys that he technically only spelled one word wrong but the capitalization errors were marked wrong too. Scully, that's an option we are considering. We plan to talk to the principal at Zoe's school and some others for some advice on this. If we do pull him from the Challenge program, they will never let him back in. It's part of the rigidity of the program that I so despise. As for the other parents, I doubt any of them care. They are so freakin' wrapped up in their kids fabulousness that they don't really seem to notice anything other than how smart and wonderful they are. I went to the "Challenge Parent Association" meeting and was completely weirded out by these people. They truly act like they are superior and pass that on to their kids. Several of the kids have told Rhys he is stupid and they are smarter than he is. I doubt that's true. I know what Rhys' IQ is and I am in the classroom once a week to help the teacher edit and proofread the kids assignments and Rhys is definitely not stupid or less smart than any of them. Some of them must have strengths in areas other than writing/spelling because they can't get one word right. One boy had to read his work to me because I would have sworn it wasn't even English, it was so bad. Whooops, there I go venting again. My bad...
• 

  StinkyPantz

  I went to a school that was 'gifted contained' (and rode a short bus ), and the standards were very, very high. It's not surprising to me that the teacher marked off for those words being capitalized. They are fairly hard on the kids because they know they can do the work.

  Like someone else said I did find it interesting that he didn't capitalize them all. That might've lead the teacher to believe that Rhys thought that those particular words are always capitalized.

  Anyway, he's a smart kid, be thankful for that .
• 

  Princess

  Have you ever thought about home schooling your kids? Maybe you and your children would be happier with that experience.

  Oh my freakin' god....NO. I can't do one without the other and I worked way to hard to get them to the point of going to school. I'm not going to teach them at home. I love my kids too much to do that to all of us.
• 

  Mulan

  A word from grandma, okay?

  What hurt me in this, that Rhys thought he misspelled the words and he didn't. If the words were at the beginning of a sentence, they would have been capitalized, so I don't see that you can just blatantly say they were spelled wrong. It reminded me of the irritating teachers who would mark down your grade on a term paper, if you didn't underline the name of a ship or a book. It seems to me that journalists don't do that either. It was very irritating to me, and I argued madly with a teacher over that point until he would change my grade. He did it reluctantly, but he was the basketball coach and not much of a history teacer, or I must have made a good argument.................I was smart and always got "A's" so a B or a C would freak me out.

  In German, I think all those kinds of words would be capitalized anyway. English comes from German, so there you are.

  Rhys tells me the school is too easy, so I don't think he is being challenged, and is bored. We had the same issue with you and with your oldest brother. Both of you were bored and needed more challenging work. Only your brother got it though, in first grade, with a wonderful teacher. Challenge for you was just more work and you hated it, so we pulled you out of the program. The school systems suck.

  He is very right brained too, and a wonderful artist, and teachers mainly teach the left brained kids. Very sad.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  Princess-

  Scully, that's an option we are considering. We plan to talk to the principal at Zoe's school and some others for some advice on this. If we do pull him from the Challenge program, they will never let him back in. It's part of the rigidity of the program that I so despise.

  Please, please, please think very hard about this before you remove him from this school. I went to a regular public school from kindergarten until 4th grade and was rarely challenged. Two hours per day I went to a separate room with other 'gifted' kids and we actually did hard work and I loved it. Then in 5th grade I got to go to a school that ONLY had 'gifted' children. It was hard, but, once again, I LOVED it. It made school fun and interesting. I am a BIG supporter of these types of schools, because I honestly believe smart kids are stunted by regular curriculum. I also don't like the idea of skipping grades because of the social issues (younger kid being with older kids, etc). He needs to be among kids of his own age and at his intellectual level.
• 

  kat2u

  You have gotten alot of great feedback here. Having had kids at both extremes in the learning curve. I would agree that kids in an advanced program need to be challenged about more seeming tiny or insignifigant things to keep those minds growing. And if they never get anything wrong they seem not to do as well in the sceme of life, We all must accept and learn from our mistakes even if it seems they are sometimes not a big deal to us.
• 

  Mulan

  I also don't like the idea of skipping grades because of the social issues (younger kid being with older kids, etc). He needs to be among kids of his own age and at his intellectual level.

  I totally disagree with this thought. I've seen very gifted kids on television, who are 10 or 11 years old and are at a University. The peer issue just is not an issue for them. The experts on those shows say that many people used to say that they should be kept with their age level, but for some of them, it is ridiculous to do that.

  My parents told me when I was about 16 that the teachers had wanted to skip me to third grade when I was in second grade and I didn't want to leave my friends, so they didn't do it. I didn't remember that. We moved the next year so I had to leave my friends anyway. I would have been fine because I was always "older" than everyone, mentally.

  Besides, Rhys is one of the oldest kids in second grade, and there are plenty of 8 year olds in third grade, so to me it isn't an issue. He reads on almost high school level, and even for the best readers in second grade, he is way beyond them. Keeping him in a regular second grade is ridiculous to me. I really wish my parents had insisted that I skip a grade when the opportunity presented itself.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  I totally disagree with this thought. I've seen very gifted kids on television, who are 10 or 11 years old and are at a University. The peer issue just is not an issue for them. The experts on those shows say that many people used to say that they should be kept with their age level, but for some of them, it is ridiculous to do that.

  LOL.. and I partially disagree with your thoughts . In this case, Rhys at least, we are not talking about a super-genius. OF COURSE if someone has a 200 IQ you shouldn't force them to stay in elementary school when they are at a college level! No one would do that! I am talking about a kid who has the choice between 1) going to an advanced school with kids his own age or 2) skipping a grade or two and possibly suffering the social consequences. They are there! Plus, boys tend to grow later anyways, so imagine him in high school at age 12 still quite small with all of these big kids. They will pick on him! Add to that that he it's really smart (nerd, geek, etc).. it's a combo for trouble.
  

  Also, I haven't done any research, but I don't think 10 year olds have an easy time in college.. .. and as for 'peers', who?!? Are they hanging out with the 20 years olds?
  

  My parents told me when I was about 16 that the teachers had wanted to skip me to third grade when I was in second grade and I didn't want to leave my friends, so they didn't do it. I didn't remember that. We moved the next year so I had to leave my friends anyway. I would have been fine because I was always "older" than everyone, mentally.

  Same here. My mother would not allow me to skip a grade and instead enrolled me into this school for special kids. It worked out wonderfully. Kids need to be kids.. no need to rush them.