I was very depressed at the time I met my best friend.
Yah, my family lives near me. In the same house. I can't really communicate with them for some odd reason. My parents are great people but I guess you could say I have serious issues with them...which is weird because they are very nice and I have problems with virtually NOBODY in my whole lifetime. But there are lots and lots of problems between the three of us. The rest of my family mostly lives right around the area. I have a few other friends but most live at least 30 minutes away..some hours and my best friend lives an 8 hour train ride from me,..not that I think I will be invited back..so that doesn't matter.
I don't have a job right now,.. I try to work when I can,..due to severe depression, panic disorder, ect.
I was homeschooled,..or supposedly was from about 4th grade on and so I didn't make any more friends in school since then.
Yah, I'm lonely.
Talked to my best friend, (witness) Thursday night and it ended with, "well,..have a good time!,"in a cold tone, when I told her I was staying at a friends house to babysitt and make some money this weekend..meeting day..sunday..im sure that ticked her off..the have a good time sounded much more like "Have a good LIFE" than I had expected. Called her tonight and she didn't call me back..
I am feeling VERY empty right now and have one of those "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" feelings.
But then I had that feeling since I told her I was done with the meetings.
It feels very weird. It's like I don't know what to do with my time from about 8pm on for a few hours when she normally calls me.
I know,..or at least I think I did what was right. But it still doesn't feel too good.