no meetings this week

by missy04 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • missy04

    I feel kind of silly posting next to you guys who were in the organization for much longer, like I know what I'm talking about or something, lol, I don't.

    But I think it's really sad..all of these people, mostly really good people, who spend their whole lives or at least alot of it trying to do things..field service, studying, giving talks, giving up good jobs, ect. for this religion. I am really sad that I can't just save 'em from it.

    I haven't been to any meetings this week and I think I finally might have the guts to tell them I'm done.

    Wow, it must have been REALLLLLYYYY hard for all those who have family in the org. or grew up in it or spent many years in it..just many months for me and I'm not even baptized..I must seem really pathetic.

    I've only missed Sunday and Tuesday and not goin to the one tonight either, but I am really done with it.

    I'm waiting for a phone call from my best friend (who hasn't called in almost three days..she normally calls me every night and we talk for hours.) I'm almost sure she'll tell me she is done with me..if not now, soon anyway. I imagine she must have talked to the sister who picks me up for meetings since she hasn't called me.

    I am not worried nearly as much anymore about how it will hurt me,..I don't want her to feel abandoned by me (although it will be the other way around.) I don't blame her, though. She completely beleives everything shes been taught there.

    It's really hard. We're both kind of loners. We both have almost all the same problems which make it hard for us every day, I think I can handle anything that happens, but I just worry about her since I'm the only person she ever really talks to. We've spent SOO many nights talking on the phone till EARLY in the morning just being there for eachother, trying to cheer eachother up, reading to eachother to get the other person's mind off stuff. We're so close, she wanted me to move from Illinois to Tennessee to live with them. She's told me that if it weren't for me and her husband, she might kill herself. So now it will be down to her hubby and I hope that she can talk to him like she normally talks to me instead, and that will be plenty for her to keep going on.

    I know I'm really pathetic but all this is really sad

    I'm tired of people saying 'Goodbye' to me...ugh.

  • Nosferatu

    I hope your friend leaves with you. You'll be able to support each other.

    ...but doesn't it feel great not being at the meetings? I remember when I stopped going (I was 18) and I loved all the free time I had! Felt kinda weird on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays for a while.

    I must ask, are you an Unbaptized Publisher? If you are, they'll be contacting you after a few months of inactivity and want to have a discussion with you. I'll never forget my meeting. I told them (nicely) that I didn't want to be one anymore. One elder almost broke out in tears. The other told me I'm going to be toast at Armageddon. That meeting was incredibly difficult for me, but everything after just got better.

    ...also, you could keep putting in monthly reports with fake hours and do your part f@#$ing up their statistics!

  • RunningMan

    The Society has always told us to "buy out the opportune time".

    It was not until I finally stopped going to meetings that I truly understood what that meant. Of cource, they always said that it meant to cut out worthless activities and spend more time studying and preaching. I have now discovered the beauty of cutting out worthless activities like meetings and bookselling, and taking the time to play chess with my son, go to the gym, watch a movie, read a book - so many things that make life nice.

    You are at a very critical time - a time when they will try to suck you back in. Be careful.

  • missy04

    Nopers, not an unbaptized publisher.

    I really doubt that she will leave with me,..unless she hits rock bottom with her depression and leaves still beleiving it is the truth..I don't want her to be depressed or down, I hate it when she is in pain, but it may be the only way she gets out and if she does maybe she will realize what is going on.

  • under74

    Hi Missy- Runningman's right, you need to be careful right now. I would just keep in mind what's best for you and yours. I'm sorry about your friend but you can't live your life doing things just in order to please others-no matter how much you love them, right? Anyway, you're not pathetic.

  • Unclepenn1

    Hey Missy, what has caused you to want to leave? I mean, YAY! do it, I was just wondering. Have you read anything about the org, like Crisis of Conscience, or anything like that? I will pray for your friend tonight, and that she will stick with you,and maybe eventually you can talk some sense into her. I am not surprised to hear of her depression- it is pretty rampant in the org. If you ever need to chat, feel free to email me. John 5:24 Unclepenn

  • missy04

    Well, I told her..

  • jgnat

    Oh, my, Missy. I bet it was tough. Toughest lesson to learn is that sometimes you can't save people from themselves.

    After she calms down, maybe reassure her that regardless of your differing beliefs, you will always be her friend. If she rejects your offer anyways, you will know how "conditional" your time with her was.

    It is very tough letting go of someone we admire.

  • missy04

    Very hard. I'm pretty sad and my stomach doesn't feel too well.

    She didn't exactly tell me she won't talk to me anymore. She gave me a little talk about how it says all over the Bible not to be unevenly yoked with unbeleivers, and I said,"Well, you always talked to me."

    She said,"Well I am right now."

    And said that we could speak limitedly and only about the Bible, that we had to keep it spiritual.

    I'm feeling very bad for her and guilty. She always thought of me as the daughter she did not have and she was like my second mom.

  • missy04

    OK, on the other hand I feel a little bit proud of myself and that I did something I should have done quite a while ago. I can get so so much more done in my life now.

    I had put so much energy into going to meetings and studying that what I really needed to be focusing on wasn't being paid attention to.

    I'm a little bit on the sad side but I did what needed to be done and I can move ahead and have more of a normal life now.

    Thanks, guys, for helping me..


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