I feel kind of silly posting next to you guys who were in the organization for much longer, like I know what I'm talking about or something, lol, I don't.
But I think it's really sad..all of these people, mostly really good people, who spend their whole lives or at least alot of it trying to do things..field service, studying, giving talks, giving up good jobs, ect. for this religion. I am really sad that I can't just save 'em from it.
I haven't been to any meetings this week and I think I finally might have the guts to tell them I'm done.
Wow, it must have been REALLLLLYYYY hard for all those who have family in the org. or grew up in it or spent many years in it..just many months for me and I'm not even baptized..I must seem really pathetic.
I've only missed Sunday and Tuesday and not goin to the one tonight either, but I am really done with it.
I'm waiting for a phone call from my best friend (who hasn't called in almost three days..she normally calls me every night and we talk for hours.) I'm almost sure she'll tell me she is done with me..if not now, soon anyway. I imagine she must have talked to the sister who picks me up for meetings since she hasn't called me.
I am not worried nearly as much anymore about how it will hurt me,..I don't want her to feel abandoned by me (although it will be the other way around.) I don't blame her, though. She completely beleives everything shes been taught there.
It's really hard. We're both kind of loners. We both have almost all the same problems which make it hard for us every day, I think I can handle anything that happens, but I just worry about her since I'm the only person she ever really talks to. We've spent SOO many nights talking on the phone till EARLY in the morning just being there for eachother, trying to cheer eachother up, reading to eachother to get the other person's mind off stuff. We're so close, she wanted me to move from Illinois to Tennessee to live with them. She's told me that if it weren't for me and her husband, she might kill herself. So now it will be down to her hubby and I hope that she can talk to him like she normally talks to me instead, and that will be plenty for her to keep going on.
I know I'm really pathetic but all this is really sad
I'm tired of people saying 'Goodbye' to me...ugh.